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to think xp is lying about his benefits being stopped so that he can go to a rave instead of having his sons for the weekend?

(14 Posts)
chim000 Thu 27-Aug-09 09:39:54

XP has the boys every other weekend. When I collected them last week he told me that his JSA had been stopped. According to him they had stopped it because he had been sacked for gross misconduct. Now I'm not entirely sure of the way that they decide if you are entitled to JSA, but he was sacked in December, so I find it hard to believe that it's taken them over 8 months to realise that they have wrongly awarded him JSA. Now I know that JSA can be stopped if they don't think you're making an effort to look for work (which wouldn't surprise me with him tbh), but this isn't the reason he has given me. Also surely they can't leave you without a single penny to buy food, gas, electric, water etc?

He said he probably wouldn't be able to have the boys this weekend as he didn't expect it to be sorted by then.

It's not the 1st time that he's used his benefits 'not arriving' hmm to get out of having the boys for an entire weekend or at all.

Anyway I did a bit of digging and I have a very strong feeling that he is going to a rave on Saturday. Emailed him asking what was happening, and he replied saying 'arseholes at the government are twats' as apparently they have now stopped his HB.

So now the boys won't see him for a month and I'm the one who keeps being accused of pushing them away from him. hmm

So AIBU to think he's talking utter bollocks?

sunnydelight Thu 27-Aug-09 09:53:26

Sounds dodgy. If you can bear it (and afford it) why not say you'll bring the boys around on Saturday afternoon with money for a takeaway on Saturday night to help him out as he's skint grin

leisurely Thu 27-Aug-09 09:55:44

No, YANBU. He is being a wankshaft. I am not sure what you can do to find out the truth, but, TBPH, I am not sure I'd want my kids being any more involved than necessary with mr arsewipe.

Lizzylou Thu 27-Aug-09 10:02:44

YANBU, hope that it doesn't stop your plans though.

Think Sunnydelight's idea is a good one grin

kathyis6incheshigh Thu 27-Aug-09 10:06:20

Or even better, send them with their meals for the weekend in a tupperware wink

slug Thu 27-Aug-09 10:22:21

He's lying. They don't hand out JSA then stop it. They take about 6 weeks to decide whether or not you are eligible, then start paying.

Anyway, it's not your problem that he was sacked for gross misconduct (if he actually was). He still has a responsibility to his sons whatever happens. Am loving the idea of food in a tupperware container.

bubblagirl Thu 27-Aug-09 10:37:23

to be honest this has happened to my brother in the past they stopped it while investigating something from months back housing benefit stopped as not on JSA took months for all to go back through and get awarded again so it can happen

offer to provide food for the boys and games etc see if he still wants to take them but i know this can happen as my bro had this happen to him out of the blue

chim000 Thu 27-Aug-09 10:48:17

I've tried the supplying foor for them before, but he'll claim he has no money for gas/electric so can't even have them in the flat. Even if I said pick them up, take them to the park, I'll give you a picnic for them, he would still back out of it somehow.

I would love to just turn up with their food though and put him on the spot.

Leisurely, I'm actually pleased that he's not having them (in a completely selfish way), but at the same time extremely peed off, as ds1 is going to be upset at not going & why can't he just tell the truth (if he is lying).

junglist1 Thu 27-Aug-09 10:51:48

They would definetely leave you without a pot to piss in. I was left begging tenners for 2 months with a 3 year old and a new born. HB would then be stopped automatically, yes. Can't say he's not lying, but I know how scummy and thick jobcentre workers can be

njmomof1 Thu 27-Aug-09 10:57:24

It sounds more likely that they've stopped his JSA through not finding worked. Spoke to a friend who was made redundant a while back and they have sent her to work as a Voluntary!!?? after 6months of signing on or she would lose her JSA and she was really looking.

Tell him to stop being a numpty and sort it out.

Don't they realise that just because they don't have money in their pockets, the world won't stop turning or the kids won't get bored or hungry??????

"Mommy, I'm hungry.....well sorry son you're gonna have to stop that because your Dad hasn't got money, so if you can just hold on for about a month til he sorts himself out, ok?"


njmomof1 Thu 27-Aug-09 10:58:37

And if he's telling the truth and really desperate he can make a claim at his signing office for Hardship Benefit whilst they are sorting out what's going to happen.

chim000 Thu 27-Aug-09 11:02:56

But njmomof1 children do need money (well according to him anyway). I mean they need to play the ps3/xbox/wii, they couldn't possily make the 5 minute walk to the park/football pitch/basketball court. And of course they'd have to accompany him to the pub on Sunday.

So, as I say not too upset about him not having them, just wish he could pull his finger out for his children's sakes.

chim000 Thu 27-Aug-09 11:06:30

Junglist/bubbagirl, well it's opened my eyes, I must be incredily naive to think that they really would leave you without a penny. I'm still not entirely convinced that that really is hte case here, but I suppose I should give him the benefit of the doubt. (Well, until I've spoken to ds2's nursery manager at least as she is also going to the rave I have my suspicions about).

bubblagirl Thu 27-Aug-09 11:12:03

lol chase him up with that by all means but yes they will leave you without a panny my bro was left with no money for 6 mths nothing at all had to get a crisis loan got behind on council tax and hb no food got behind on all bills poor thing was in so much trouble and still trying to get out of it now

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