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to be upset that dh doesnt want to spend bh together

(11 Posts)
dutchgirl2 Wed 26-Aug-09 20:37:52

to want my dh home for weekend rather than spending it with PIL in france. been a hectic time for us lately. i'm 34 wks pregnant and inlast week of work and we already have a 5 yr old and an 18 month old. our child minder left on short notice so been stuck for child care, and dh has been working non stop until after 9 every night. had two wks of holiday planned for end of july and he had to go back to work for one of them. so he had this week off instead when he was going to help out with the kids while i had last wk of work. he decided to go to visit PIL in france and i booked the tickets with return on friday so we could have the bank holiday weekend together as a family before the baby arrives. and tickets were alot more reasonable. but all hes been doing is going on about how he should stay for the weekend. now tickets cost a fortune to change. we have only had five days of holiday together as a family- and he wants to stay until sunday. his exact words- we'll come on sunday and you can pick us up at airport and we can do something nice sunday night. i have a rocky relationship with his parents (very demanding- pushing him to stay) and am so tired of being prioritised last. job, his family and then me. hes brilliant with the kids though. just wish he would learn to prioritise our family time as well. ongoing issue obviously. sorry to be so long. and hes heading off on business trip for week after next which means very little time together before baby comes. and i miss my kids they've been gone since mon and supposed to be back fri. and due to bank holiday impossible to get remotely reasonable tickets to join them.

ThePhantomPlopper Wed 26-Aug-09 20:40:32

Is it a case of not wanting to spend the bank holiday with you, or does he genuinely have to work? Is he the boss/self employed?

pinkteddy Wed 26-Aug-09 20:42:55

So are you on your own at home atm, while your kids are in France with your dh?

cjones2979 Wed 26-Aug-09 20:44:42

YAsooooooooooooooooNBU to want to spend the whole BH weekend with your DH & DC's!!!

Your hubby is being really inconsiderate to even think about staying on. He would be being unreasonable even if you weren't so heavily pregnant, but the fact that you are maes it worse.

He should be wanting to spend the weekend with you seeing as you haven't had much family time recently, especially as he has been with his parents since Monday.

Does he know how you feel ?

<<big hugs>>

ThePhantomPlopper Wed 26-Aug-09 20:45:40

Oh OK sorry I miss read.

cjones2979 Wed 26-Aug-09 20:46:04

Big LOL at the username ThePhantomPlopper grin

dutchgirl2 Wed 26-Aug-09 20:55:47

completely knows how i feel. but we always get in these situations. he knows how i feel and he conveniently ignores it. and i was even trying to be diplomatic with him and say it was really hurtful etc- instead of just getting angry - and he's still persisting.

...definitely a good name..-phantom plopper

cjones2979 Wed 26-Aug-09 21:10:57

I really feel for you - what a selfish a*hole!!

dutchgirl2 Wed 26-Aug-09 21:16:19

so nice to have someone who agrees. and you know what annoys me i that his mum encourages him in it. and his sister is there as well. and she has a 17 month old and wouldnt be really pleased if her dh did the same. but they encourage him in it. they are offering to pay for his ticket change. instead of saying your wife is pregnant go an have a nice weekend with her. hate that type of thing.

dutchgirl2 Wed 26-Aug-09 21:19:22

i suppose i should be happy to have some time to relax but i not a relaxing type of person- would rather have nice bank holiday with family- and when you are 34 weeks you aren't exactly out on the town.

cjones2979 Wed 26-Aug-09 21:59:46

No, thats right. I know how you feel because my MIL is like that too. At any family gatherings, she will always try to encourage my DH to stay when I want to go home to put the kids to bed. Last time, we went to her house at 2pm, I stayed with the kids til 7.30pm, by that time they were dropping so said I was bringing them home & she looked straight through me to DH and said "You're coming back though aren't you?", he then did indeed go back (we only live 6 doors away....unfortunately!), and stayed until nearly 2am. Came back completely rat arsed, but she wouldn't think to tell him to come home.
What is it about these men that makes them easily led by their bloody mothers ??!! I hope I'm never like that with my boys.
Whatever happens, I hope you have a nice BH weekend.

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