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to think that my sister is shit-stirring?

(12 Posts)
arolf Wed 26-Aug-09 09:38:45

Background - I have 2 younger sisters, who both still live near my parents; I live 300 or so miles away, and am expecting my first child (first grandchild for my parents too).

Younger sister 1 was in an abusive relationship a few years ago, with a man nobody in the family was particularly keen on. Things came to a head, she left him (very brave decision on her part, I might add), and she spent 2 years living at home and getting over it. She lost a LOT of confidence, had no self esteem for a long time, and although we tried to help, there wasn't much we could do, so she did end up irritating the whole family. Still, she has now moved out of the parental abode, and has found herself a new man who seems to adore her, is employed, and generally she is 1000x happier than she was this time last year.

Younger sister 2 is back at home after uni, lives in a different country from her man, and cannot find a job.

So in the past couple of days, sister 2 has sent me a few text messages telling me how awful sister 1's new man in, how rude he is, how boring, and she really doesn't like him. I remind her she said the same about my DP (now my fiance), and so am taking what she's saying with a LARGE pinch of salt. She then starts telling me things my dad has been saying about me, how he thinks I'm lazy for not travelling up to visit them (I'm 36+3 weeks pg FFS!), I'm taking them for granted (not sure how), and other stuff. I know dad says these things, he says them to my face quite often, and is generally a bit of a sod.

But sister 2 has told me she's 'just telling you these things out of concern for you arolf'.

Is it unreasonable of me to presume that she is just deeply jealous of sis1 and myself as we are both getting more attention than she is for once?!

(sorry for length, needed a rant after a particularly spite filled message from her just now!)

OrmIrian Wed 26-Aug-09 09:41:46

I think it is perfectly reasonable to ignore what she said, regardless of her motivation.

skybright Wed 26-Aug-09 09:43:30

Goodness,she sounds bored and a bit green eyed,ignore her.

MmeLindt Wed 26-Aug-09 09:43:53

Ignore her texts. She sounds very immature.

2rebecca Wed 26-Aug-09 09:44:37

Younger sister 2 sounds very unpleasant and as though she doesn't like you. Is this normal for her? Saying she doesn't like other sister's bloke is fair enough, but telling tales on stuff your dad may have said about you is just stirring up trouble and being unpleasant for the sake of it. I would phone her up and tell her you don't want any more unpleasant texts, if she wants to chat or discuss her stuff fair enough, but the family gossip stuff is just nasty.

StewieGriffinsMom Wed 26-Aug-09 09:45:25

Message withdrawn

msrisotto Wed 26-Aug-09 09:46:08

Tell her that you don't particularly want to hear those things so thanks for her concern but it would be nicer for her not to tell you. Biatch.

arolf Wed 26-Aug-09 09:48:45

thanks - am generally ignoring her (not responding to any texts or emails), but she started chatting to me online, which is harder to ignore. my DP is hugely unimpressed with her and isn't keen on her visiting at all once baby is here! I just wanted to make sure my initial impression of her as being envy towards us wasn't just me being self centered

I'm just trying to be the bigger person (not too hard at the moment, lol!) with both her and dad.

bloody families, eh?!

arolf Wed 26-Aug-09 09:49:26

oh, and she is 22, so not a teenager, despite her behaviour...

OhBling Wed 26-Aug-09 09:50:16

Yup. Agree with everyone else. A simple, "I am not discussing this with you" and stick to it.

Siblings can be buggers.

2rebecca Wed 26-Aug-09 09:54:39

If younger sister 2 still lives with your parents and isn't financially independant she probably is fairly immature compared to a 22 year old who has her own place, job and friends. It sounds as though she is getting over tied up in the rest of the family's stuff because her own life is a bit boring at the moment.
I don't think living with your parents is good for you once you become an adult.

arolf Wed 26-Aug-09 10:01:48

certainly not good to live with my parents... but I agree, she is quite spectacularly childish at times (although as nothing compared to her peers - sheesh, some of them can tantrum for Scotland!). think it may be due to her 'arty' persona - rest of us are a bit more pragmatic, less touchy etc, so she does throw a strop when she isn't getting enough attention, and she's getting more manipulative as she gets older too. oh well.

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