to think this could be a typical Mumsnet thread?

[oneopinionatedmother]

DistressedofDorking

Oh no! Please help, every morning DD wails her head off like she?s being killed. She?s 12 mo and sleeps in her own room. I am still BF her and pg with DC2, so to help me out DH gets her out of bed to bring her for her morning feed (lovely DH). But the screams every morning are just so distressing ? our neighbours mentioned about it the other day. Please help, I really don?t need this as am feeling hormonal
My HV has said I should stop BF and give her a bottle last thing instead as she is yelling because she is waking up starving 
My MIL thinks I should be getting out of bed and not expecting DH to deal with this
DH thinks she is just being funny and I shouldn?t worry about it, she will grow out of it.

Mumsnorks ? Is there any way she could co-sleep? Then when she woke up the lovely booby would be right there to comfort her. Don?t listen to HV?s, they are all evil witches from Mars, out to deprive your baby out of the good stuff. Also your MIL is probably just jealous cos her husband never helped her out.
Waitingforfanjo ? Don?t worry about this lovely, babies just yell sometimes. God knows mine blow the house down when they wake up all tired and grumpy. Your DH is being lovely and helping you out. If you want to wean totally, you could, but I honestly think it won?t make the blindest bit of difference.
Interventionistsanonymous ? Congrats on your pregnancy! Also you do have a lovely DH, mine wouldn?t do so much as get me a cup of the tea I?m so horrendously addicted to. Baby could be suffering from MSS (morning screaming syndrome) so you should see your GP for a referral to a specialist. When I did it made such a difference ? the therapy really worked and baby is so much better.
Mumsnorks ? MSS new one on me.
Icewitch ? don?t worry about it. Nothing?s wrong, you?re just fragile because you?re pg. Have a large G n T and feel better.
DesperateofDorking ? ok, I went to see the Doctor and he said nothing was wrong, he hadn?t heard of MSS but referred me to the specialist anyway. Any other ideas? Don?t want to co-sleep as uncomfortable enough with bump and 12 monther makes a very kicky sleeping partner.
@icewitch ? large GnT ? at that time in the morning? Whilst pregnant?
TheDailyMailblowsdonkeys ? Are you sure your DH isn?t a child abuser?

[grin emoticon]
TokenMan ? Why are you alleging abuse TDMBD? You are being anti male unnecessarily. The nice man does something to help his pregnant wife and instantly someone alleges something totally unsubstantiated.
TheDailyMailBlowsDonkeys - >sighs impatiently at lack of irony detection in some people<
Desperateofdorking ? not sure if you?re being tongue in cheek but i think DD might be upset that it?s not me that gets her out of bed, I?ll try being there tomorrow morning. >sulky tired emoticon<

Icewitch ? oh sorry OP didn?t read that bit of your post...just thought I?d offer some assurance without reading anything.
Tombliboobs ? does she sleep with a toy? Mine used to cry every morning when she got out because I wouldn?t let her take all fifteen of her furry toys with her. Needless to say they go with her to breakfast to now, all cuddled up with her in the high chair. No more yelling. >indulgent parent emoticon<
Mumsnorks ? let us know how it goes OP, we?re all ?nosy?keen to think putting in our tuppence has been useful and not just a waste of yet more minutes of our one unrepeatable life on the internet!
DesperateofDorking ? Wow! You?ll never guess what was the answer (no, you really won?t guess.)

[oneopinionatedmother]

bugger, those question marks are the translation out of Word (you know - comes out as ?)

[madeupsurname]

Snort at 'Tombliboobs'

[oneopinionatedmother]

actually, apologies if any of these are genuine names, if not, feel free to adopt them..

[Dophus]

Christ - you've got time on your hands!

[oneopinionatedmother]

yes,DH is a mumsnet widow

[Dophus]

and your children?! orphans?

[TrillianAstra]

DM thread for next week, definitely.

[naturopath]

This is good - I very very rarely laugh out loud at the internet/tv/radio, but this has got me. Very astute.

[oneopinionatedmother]

@ dophus .. they have a 2 hour nap!!
and i call it 'benign neglect'.
DD is watching cbeebies
DS is currently trying to eat the laptop...

i might stop him.

[MIAonline]

I am loving Tombliboobs

[Tombliboobs]

Ta dah!

Love your 'thread' Perhaps this is the new way forward on MN... create your own thread that way you are sure of the answers,. No one can ignore you, disagree or hijack the thread!

[oneopinionatedmother]

ah well tombliboobs we still haven't worked out the solution to OP's problem...

though there are a couple of really interesting other threads on at themo, and its tot dinner time.

the TV can't feed them, more's the pity.

[Tombliboobs]

Felt really strange using this name on another thread!

[LovelyTinOfSpam]

Tombliboobs excellent name!

I converted to bigbellasbeerbelly a while back due to a thread, now that really did take some getting used to! A change is as good as a rest and all that

excellent thread oneopinionatedmother, v inspired, or do you actually have multiple personalities?!

[ManicMother7777]

ROFL!

[oneopinionatedmother]

episiotomylobotomy - girls, do you think desperateofdroking is a troll?

epsiotomylobotomy dorking bloody typing.

mumsnorks why's that episiolobotomy? Because she hasn't told us much but vanished just like that??

mumsnorks She's not posted for a full fifteen seconds now - must be a troll.

Waitingforfanjo maybe desperate has a social life and doesn't sit glued to her screen pressing F5 obsessively when she starts a thread? Just a thought.

TokenMan Can't wait to find what it is what was causing the morning screaming. I'm sure you ladies will find it wasn't Daddy's fault anyway.

Icewitch TheDailMailBlowsDonkeys are you a namechange for balloonanimals?

TheDailyMailBlowsDonkeys ah, caught out again

lifts rubber face mask revealing true identity<

"and i would have got away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids"

AttachmentMummy >arrives late, shuffles in at the back shamefacedly<
I hope she's ok [sympathetic face] do you think that some herbal remedy might soothe your baby desperate, they made mine sleep soo calmly bless their little heads, or a nice lavender pillow can work wonders I find. Maybe she's scared that you're not coming back afte a long night alone? Babies can get like that when they go into their own bedrooms - i think 12 months old is really soon for that especially as you're pregnant and I'm sure they can sense the change even if they don't understand it. Sorry, rambling, but maybe if you can't co-sleep, at least have her back in your room?

[DidEinsteinsMum]

that about sums it up.

[chegirl]

Snort

[IsItMeOr]

(whines) But what was the answer?

V. funny thread OP, well done!

[MummyElk]

love this thread! thanks for entertaining my evening! [awed emoticon]

[oneopinionatedmother]

unhingedminge What was it? tell me tell me tell me!
@AttachmentMummy - don't be so effing smug, she's got a wailing baby, not a bad smell to deal with. You and your bloody herbal remedies aren't necessary, my babies sleep fine even though their room smells of MaccyDs and Airfreshner.
AttachmentMummy I'm not smug, why can't anyone be pleased with anthing here?

flounces<

unhingedminge yet another bloody flouncer, 'go now, and wait not on the order of thy going'

DesperateofDorking >sob< Just spent all day doing the housework to keep my mind off this morning - what an Idiot! I stood behind DH as he got DD out of bed, and
He was pulling her out of bed by the feet and dangling her upside down!!. Apparently this is how his Mum told him to do it. No Suprise she was yelling. I am trying to get over the fact that i may have married a man without even a grain of common sense.

What is worse, he obeyed his mother without even questioning it, he just will never grow up and shake off his childhood. Didn't he consider this? I would have a strong drink to calm me down now icewitch, but i just feel so sodding sick.

unhingedminge I knew it was something the daft bugger was doing wrong. Men!

TokenMan Just because this man is obviously a few wickets short of a test match doesn't mean all men deserve lambasting unhinged

dungareewearingfriendofThelmas Poor you OP! You shouldn't have to deal with male idiocy as well as your kids and hormones.

TokenMan @dungaree - but his mum told him to do it, a woman is wrong too you know. And she only has one kid so far. [pedantry emoticon]

dungareewearingfriendofThelmas i think this comes down to 'would you jump off a cliff if someone told you?' as we are so fond of asking our dc's. Her DH was told to do something daft, and didn't work it out for himself.

mumsnorks Bloody hell! that really takes the biscuit. I'd have thought even the least competent man parent would be able to work out that if they are upside down and not enjoying it, turn them round.

interventionistsanonymous I recommend you still take the appointment, there may be other causes of the screaming and it's best to be on the safe side.

randomposter I haven't read the thread, just the OP, has she tried reading this book on the avoidance of crying link to random book by shrink/ other HCP who is clueless about what to do with their own kids but still sees fit to tell other people how to handle their children

i found it worked wonders

waitingforfanjo - big un-MNlike hug OP, at least you know what the cause is now and nothing is really wrong with your DD, though something pretty evidently is Pete Tong with your partner. Where was he when the brains were handed out? Same place as your MIL, evidently.

Give him a good tongue lashing (no, not like that) and make sure he never takes MIL's advice without consulting you first.

[raffyandted]

Hilarious! More please. I want to be waitingforfanjo or unhingedminge

[waitingforfanjo]

[Tombliboobs]

Love the latest installments, but why didn't I come back to the thread, oneopinionated? Clearly, mine would have been the voice of reason, wit and sound advice

I think you should sell yourself as MN nickname generator!

[IsItMeOr]

[Applause emoticon]

DM should get you to write their column. Except, of course, you would never sell yourself out, obviously.