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to feel as if my life has suddenly changed, the morning after starting to read "Buddhism for Mothers"...

(47 Posts)
ScarlettCrossbones Tue 25-Aug-09 13:14:12

... honestly, I'm completely non-religious but the chapter on anger (which I jumped to first!) just blew me away.

And it's not been a particularly good day either - DS (4) has had 3 big tantrums so far already ... but I just feel as if I'm drifting along on a cloud of good karma atm ...

Am I being naive to hope it will last?!?!? grin

juuule Tue 25-Aug-09 13:16:15

SmallShips Tue 25-Aug-09 13:17:46

Tis a very good book.

I go re-read it quite a a lot.

allaboutme Tue 25-Aug-09 13:18:27

sounds like i need that book...

Olifin Tue 25-Aug-09 13:19:09

Cool! I've been meaning to read this for ages, being interested in Buddhism and all. And I DEFINITELY need to read useful stuff on anger; have a few ishooos there myself grin Going to order it today, thanks for the recommendation

peanutpie Tue 25-Aug-09 13:19:18

To save me going to all the trouble of buying the book and reading etc....What is the secret?!?!

ScarlettCrossbones Tue 25-Aug-09 13:21:43

It's brilliant, Olifin, it just explains how anger is so completely counterproductive that the only person you're hurting is yourself. And that it just breeds more anger.

... and breathe ...

curiositykilled Tue 25-Aug-09 13:23:50

No YANBU. I read the dalai lama's little book of inner peace a few years ago as it was an easy read whilst b/f my son - it completely changed my life. grin

GrimmaTheNome Tue 25-Aug-09 13:28:38

The thing about Buddhism, is that its not really 'religious' - you quite specifically don't have to take anything on trust but are supposed to try it out.

Which is why this book sounds interesting - my problem with Buddhism is finding time to do it - how do you meditate with kids around?

travellingwilbury Tue 25-Aug-09 13:30:16

I hope it lasts for you . I have always wondered about the whole buddhist thing , would you have to shave all the dc's hair off in case they caught nits ? You wouldn't be able to kill them would you ?

Or do even buddhists feel that nits deserve everything they get grin

IUsedToBePeachy Tue 25-Aug-09 13:32:36

LOL- are you sure you're not confusing Buddhism with jainism? I mean, researchers even think the Buddha died from eating pork! It's a very variable faith you know

travellingwilbury Tue 25-Aug-09 13:34:47

Maybe I should actually read up about it rather than judging a whole faith on what I have picked up while chatting in bars .

I don't think I have even heard of jainism never mind get it mixed up .

SmallShips Tue 25-Aug-09 13:36:08

I do yoga/mediate at a local Buddhism centre, if I don't get time to go I just sit in the garden for a minute.

The nice thing about Buddhism is that you don't have to follow a strict set of rules, you get to figure it all out yourself, for e.g I eat meat as long as it isn't specifically killed for me IYSWIM.

GrimmaTheNome Tue 25-Aug-09 13:37:40

I think the Buddhists are supposed to balance compassion with wisdom. Thus, the Tibetans are very rarely vegetarian because its well-nigh impossible to live on veg in Tibet. Its not a faith at all, so they don't have to get stuck in dogma.

I heard that the Dalai Lama was asked what he'd do if a mosquito bit him. The answer was something like, he'd tolerate it once, twice but if it did it again ....[swat].

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Tue 25-Aug-09 14:10:18


as long as it isn't killed for you?

How come?

SmallShips Tue 25-Aug-09 14:20:38

Just means I'm not directly or indirectly responsible for another creatures death.

I'm not a big meat eater anyway I don't use meat in the house (DH does though), but wouldn't refuse it if given it at a dinner party or whatever.

Thunderduck Tue 25-Aug-09 14:25:03

But if you eat meat you are indirectly responsible for it's death,or for the death of cattle/pigs/chickens in general It doesn't need to have your name stamped on it in order for it to be so.

The more demand i.e the more meat eaters there are, the more animals will be slaughtered.

I think it's nonsensical to exempt yourself from any responsibility in the while process if you eat meat.

And I'm not a vegetarian I eat and enjoy meat and go hunting.

Thunderduck Tue 25-Aug-09 14:25:25

Whole process not while.

justabout Tue 25-Aug-09 14:27:01

Message withdrawn

Pitchounette Tue 25-Aug-09 14:27:04

Message withdrawn

OrangeFish Tue 25-Aug-09 14:27:13

Just bookmarking, to return later

oneopinionatedmother Tue 25-Aug-09 14:29:15

i quite enjoyed the 'book of happiness' too.

and the penguin 'Buddhist scrpitures' was good for a giggle.

I am training DD to respect life as much as possible too 'put the snail back in the don't hurt it...Good girl!!'

Buddhism does have a set of prohibitions though as they believe in karma/ reincarnation rather than hell, it's more a matter of choice and keeping a persepctive on your life.

though i probably wouldn't go so far as to sya it 'changed my life', I've got lots of time for Buddhism, it's a very gentle religion and learnin about it opens your mind to things you may no previously hae considered (in a good way)

SmallShips Tue 25-Aug-09 14:35:44

You're right Thunderduck. I don't completely exempt myself of responsibility, which is why I rarely eat it, but I feel better if I know it wasn't specifically killed/purchased for me.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Tue 25-Aug-09 14:54:39

What thunderduck said! (apart from the bit about eating meat and hunting)

Smallships - far be it for me to call anyone out on vegetarian hypocrisy (I am too in plenty of ways) but if you eat it, it died for you. If you are served it at a dinner party, it was bought for you. You could call the host in advance and let them know you don't eat meat, and they would buy one fewer meat ingredient. Do you only eat meat when it is given to you already cooked, ie not bought and brought to your house, and not ordered in restaurants?

If you made it known you didn't eat meat then meat wouldn't be provided for you, and hence not bought.

SmallShips Tue 25-Aug-09 15:16:06

Kat - I agreed with Thunderduck above. I said it made me feel better.

I'll give up meat when I'm happy to do it, I won't pay lip service to it, compassion needs to be heartfelt, it wouldn't be heartfelt if I gave it up but still wanted to eat it, which is how I'd feel if I stopped right now (pregnant and craving it). That's the nice thing about Buddhism you can come to your own conclusions.

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