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yes I am. But don't you dare tell me I am!

(23 Posts)
HecatesTwopenceworth Mon 24-Aug-09 14:57:14

My father has done something on the net. He has a page. - It's not important what it is, that's not my problem grin - my problem is this. His 'name' is X'sgrandad.

X being my niece. His grand-daughter.

He has 2 grandson's as well!!!!

What, is he only my niece's grandfather? What about my sons? It is horrible favouritism. he has THREE grandchildren, yet that reads like he is grandfather of one! I feel that my sons have been horribly snubbed.

And he showed me his page and must have clocked my face because he said "my username is X's grandad and my password is a combination of the boys names."

Like that was 'fair'. But he is announcing to the world he is X's grandad! not my childrens grandad. Just my niece's grandad! His username isn't "X's grandad with 2 grandsons as password" is it?

That's not fair, is it? He ISN'T X's grandad. He is X, Y and Z's grandad.

It feels like, well, it feels horrible actually.

Now. Here's the thing. If he put his username as my children's names too, I would tell him to take it off, because I don't want their names out there! Like I asked my sister to take their pics off her facebook grin.

So if he was X, Y and Z's grandad, I would make him change it, but I am very cross and hurt that he just decided to be X's grandad with no thought for my kids.

He didn't do it knowing how I feel about my children's names / photos being on the net! He just chose my niece's name only. iyswim.

So. Hit me. grin

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad Mon 24-Aug-09 14:58:26


Get a grip, woman.

Owls Mon 24-Aug-09 14:59:44

No idea if yabu or not. But you did make me lol. grin

LynetteScavo Mon 24-Aug-09 15:00:45

I am rollling my eyes, Hecates.

I always thought you weren't like the rest of us.

I thought you were rational.

I've changed my mind.

HecatesTwopenceworth Mon 24-Aug-09 15:01:01

ouch. grin

I know owls, there's just no pleasing me blush

PeedOffWithNits Mon 24-Aug-09 15:02:28

Hec I am on your wavelength here

Would not want my DCs names paraded on the net, but would not want them excluded either

perhaps we are both odd?

HecatesTwopenceworth Mon 24-Aug-09 15:02:31

blush lynette. rational? me? nooooooo. sadly not.

Mad as a box of frogs, I'm sad to say.

You all know I am being totally unreasonable, don't you? grin I can tell.

lazylion Mon 24-Aug-09 15:03:24

I don't think you are BU. It would depend on whether he shows favouritism towards his granddaughter in other ways or not.

HecatesTwopenceworth Mon 24-Aug-09 15:04:10

That's it, Peed - I don't want my kids names out there, but I want - equality

It's not that I want him to have his username as X,Y&Z'sGrandad, but he shouldn't have just decided to name himself X'sGrandad - you know?

Bathsheba Mon 24-Aug-09 15:04:39

You say he didn;t know you would have asked him to change it anyway...

But you asked your sister to take pictures off Facebook...

Trust me, he knows. She told him.

No malice intended - he has acknowledged them by making their names his password, but he has acknowledged them in a away that he knows you won't mind.

FabBakerGirlIsBack Mon 24-Aug-09 15:04:58

It has taken years but I finally believe that my MIL doesn't favour the boys over my daughter. She told me the other day DD is lovely. smile

HecatesTwopenceworth Mon 24-Aug-09 15:09:39

To be fair LL, he's equally crap with all of them grin

He has recently made much more of an effort with my kids, after years of not bothering because of <insert long list of excuses>. Until I blew my top and told them they were shit grandparents and just to choose whether they wanted to be grandparents or not, either was fine with me, up to them. But if they wanted to be grandparents, they had to make the effort etc etc.

Before that, he didn't bother with them. Because they are hard work. mum and dad have my niece to stay regularly, they've never had my boys. They take my niece out regularly, they've taken my boys out a couple of times - both since I told them to choose whether they wanted to be grandparents or not.

To be fair to them, they held their hands up and acknowledged their failings and they have been trying. really trying. But there's no denying that they do far more with my niece than they ever do with my boys.

And I think that's cos she's easier than them! She doesn't have autism, she is easy to manage, she lives across the road...

I think it comes down to idleness.

HecatesTwopenceworth Mon 24-Aug-09 15:11:04

Bath- that's a very good point and you may well have hit the nail on the head!

madameDefarge Mon 24-Aug-09 16:21:17

aw, he just pressed your buttons with that, didn't he? I'm with Bath on this. He knew you wouldn't like it, that is, using their names, so its a cackhanded way of respecting your decisions. But because they are a bit rubbish it felt like more rubbish.

But what grown man wants to be known as anybody's grandad?

screamingabdab Mon 24-Aug-09 16:29:46

Is it your time of the month love ? grin

screamingabdab Mon 24-Aug-09 16:31:24

< wonders what the web page is hmm >

LeQueen Mon 24-Aug-09 16:34:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shivermetimbers Mon 24-Aug-09 16:44:03

YABU. He was incorporating all three kids in the username and password, doesnt matter the order in which they appear. She is the oldest so named first, simple as that. The way you were always mentioned before me its just the way it is.

overweightnoverdrawn Mon 24-Aug-09 19:00:59

Wait till they name the villa they have bought with golden grandchilds name . Now that really would piss you off especialy if your DS noticed it . Can you tell I have an issue with this .

HecatesTwopenceworth Mon 24-Aug-09 19:11:36

shock really? that's awful!

My parents don't love my niece more than my kids, it's more that my niece (and I know shiver will back me up on this grin ) is easy to manage whereas my boys - oh dear GOD!!!! and my parents are bone idle! that's why they've not done much with them. Because they need a high level of supervision and lots of running around after! And to be fair, they're not physically up to running around and not mentally up to dealing with the high level of noise and huge amount of mess!

Yup. I am unreasonable indeed.

Overweightnotoverdrawn - your situation sounds horrible. That must be so hurtful.

piscesmoon Mon 24-Aug-09 19:25:41

It wouldn't bother me.

cjones2979 Mon 24-Aug-09 19:44:51

I can understand your frustration Hecates.

MIL & step FIL are very similar.

I have 2 boys (eldest is also Autistic and quite hard work at times) and my IL's have never looked after either of them. Unlike SIL's kids. Especially her 3 year old DD!! MIL has 5 GS's and only 1 GD and it is blatently obvious that she is the favourite.

My boys get referred to by name when she greets them, my neice always gets a "Hello Darling!" or "Hello Baby".

A couple of months ago I was talking to step FIL about usernames and passwords (can't even remember why grin), and he said to me "You can guess what my password is", so I looked at him blankly, shrugged my shoulders and said "Can I?". He then looked straight at my niece and said "It's X of course". I was totally shock that he would openly show his favourtism like that.

It completely put my back up, so IMO YAdefinitelyNBU !!!

cjones2979 Mon 24-Aug-09 19:47:34

Sorry about the spelling above! Typing too quickly!! blush

Niece & Favouritism grin

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