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to get annoyed when family address cards to me using DP's surname when we are not married

(12 Posts)
sweetkitty Mon 24-Aug-09 13:36:33

So my birthday last week I had cards addressed to

Mrs SL Smith-Jones (not my real name Smith my name, Jones DP's) - from my MOTHER
Mrs S Jones - from my AUNT
Mrs S Jones - from my BROTHER

So close family members who would know if I had suddently got married or not. what makes it worse is that Mrs S Jones was DP's Mum who died last month.

Why now? They didn't used to do it, maybe they are trying to tell us something after all these years that we should be married the thing is even if we did get married I would keep my surname. Even my 3 yo knows my name is Miss S Smith

famishedass Mon 24-Aug-09 13:37:43

YANBU - make sure you always spell their names wrong when you send them a card.

NigellaTufnel Mon 24-Aug-09 13:40:12

YANBU if the card is just to you - it's not your name.

However, if it's a card to you, your DP and DC's it's a pain to spell out different surnames.
Still a bit rubbish though to ignore your name.

simplesusan Mon 24-Aug-09 13:42:49

Yanbu-next time send the card back marked "not at this address".

4littlelions Mon 24-Aug-09 13:44:49

If this is all you have to worry about in your life then be grateful

CMOTdibbler Mon 24-Aug-09 13:45:17

I feel your pain. We've been married 12 years, I've never had DHs surname, and they still send cards to Mrs hisname in spite of being reminded that I am Ms Myname.

arolf Mon 24-Aug-09 13:48:27

oh, my friends and family do this too - i'm Dr Arolf, but get cards/letters to me addressed to Mrs mrArolf. a) I'm not married and b) I got a PhD last year, and want to use my title for a wee while, if it's not too much effort!

So YANBU, although in the grand scheme of things, it's sadly not enough to actually get angry about

sweetkitty Mon 24-Aug-09 14:04:55

4littlelions - I have an awful lot more to worry about you will be glad to know but last year they were able to address cards to me so how come this year they address it to someone who died little over a month ago and we are still grieving for.

I'm 34 so for 33 years they have known me as SL Smith, so how come all of a sudden they think I am married?

I'm not angry just a little bit peeved, think the addressing their cards wrong next time might be a good idea grin

sweetkitty Mon 24-Aug-09 14:05:27

Isn't the AIBU thread only supposed to be for trivial things that wind you up anyway hmm

Dophus Mon 24-Aug-09 14:09:42


I married last year and get peed off as chose not to take DHs name.

They call me Mrs X whilst I use Dr Y. Even my bloody mother.

arolf Mon 24-Aug-09 15:17:41

oh - sweetkitty - addressing their cards wrong makes sod all difference in my experience... I addressed my sister as 'Mr' and 'Reverend' a couple of times, and she just didn't notice. My friend, who got married recently, I address by her married name, but one time I used her maiden name by mistake, she didn't notice. I concluded that I am extremely petty and pedantic, and should resolve to get my revenge in a different way, should the opportunity arise

BramblyHedge Mon 24-Aug-09 15:39:47

This drives me nuts - they also double barrel my sons' names when they only have their fathers surname.

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