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christening / party...

(16 Posts)
hunniesugarplum Sun 23-Aug-09 09:54:15

DC1 due 8-10 weeks, though have GD so almost certain at this point will be induced in 8(9 at latest) weeks, cannot wait!

we are planning a christening, and due to geographic locations of family, needed to do this sooner than later to give best chance of everyone being able to travel down.

I am slightly religious ( i dont attend church every week, but i say my prayers every night, and attend at points throughout the year, and I've felt i needed to in the past), DH not religious at all, altho respects my beliefs and is happy to have a christening.

Alot of my family is what you might call fractured. I dont see my bio mums family (she is dead), and my dads (also dead) lives a bit spread out, as does DH's, my (step)mums is all local..

AIBU to treat the christening as a bit of a introduction party for our DC, as it will be a good oppurtunity to get all the family together so everyone meets LO, and to catch up with people we have not seen for sometime? None of my family or DH's is devoutly religious that i know of, but there have been christenings, and we were planning a party afterward, drinks (not excessive as would be a daytime thing, i personally dont drink and wouldnt want it to get to the point where there of lots of drunk people around small children) and perhaps a BBQ depending on the weather and the venue, with music etc. Dont want to offend anyone though who holds very religious beliefs, because i know some people will think it'll just be a big party...

AIBU to do things this way, and should the do after be a more sedate, non-drink involving affair?

elvislives Sun 23-Aug-09 10:00:28

Most churches now insist that the parents attend baptism preparation classes, where they explore the reasons for baptism (one of which isn't an excuse for a party). During the service you promise to bring the baby up in the christian faith, which to me seems hypocritical when you go into it with no intention of doing so.

Having said that there are still hundreds of new parents who do this every week, so you wouldn't be unusual.

You can just throw a family party. Our LA does a Naming Day thing where the registrar comes out- like a civil marriage ceremony.

Entirely up to you.

hunniesugarplum Sun 23-Aug-09 10:07:12

Elvis i have said that my DH isnt religious, please dont assume that because he isnt i wouldnt be raising my child with a belief system.

I am in no way a hypocrite as i do intent to raise my child within the faith i have chosen, just not devoutly so, as i dont believe you need to be in a church weekly to feel loved and protected by an omnipitent god, so pelase dont call me a hypocrite. I have no intention of throwing a random party and having a naming ceremony as i want the religious aspect also. I have spoken to my local minister and am aware of the pre-qualifications for the service, and my DH has agreed to fulfil these as he understands what my faith means to me.

I didnt intend this to be a thread where you could judge whether i represent my faith enough to be a viable option for christening/ baptism..... I was simply wondering if persons were likely to be offended, although i suppose your post shows me the criticism i may face behind closed doors...

diddl Sun 23-Aug-09 10:18:08

I would say close family and friends.
Whoever you want at the church is who comes for food and drinks afterwards.

hunniesugarplum Sun 23-Aug-09 10:47:38

i wasnt asking who to invite??

Fluffypoms Sun 23-Aug-09 11:06:36

There is'nt anything wrong with having the party afterwards .imo.and think its agreat way to introduce the lo.

If your to supply the drinks that would help in keeping drinking to a limit.
Have you ideas on the venue yet?

Morloth Sun 23-Aug-09 11:14:10

Sounds fine to me. Christenings have always been another big family gathering in my family. Everyone goes to the Church, you get the kid dipped and then you go and have a party (inviting the Minister of course!).

Could be that my family take a somewhat relaxed view of religion though grin - actually come to think of it we take a relaxed view of pretty much everything.

hunniesugarplum Sun 23-Aug-09 11:17:59

im glad i havent been further condemned for not being religious enough!! i have selected a really lovely church and was thinking of the local community centre for after, they have a licensed bar but are very good at limits, and will happily not serve certain things if you prefer. they also have a separate corridor - door at wither end type are which will be perfect for food, so think we will go with that.

Glad people think its ok, i mean why shouldnt you celebrate afterall!

bigchris Sun 23-Aug-09 11:29:30

i wouldnt book anything until the baby is born , you might not feel up to it or just change your mind completely

Fluffypoms Sun 23-Aug-09 11:40:22

Well thought it was par of course to have party after?
sounds like it will be a lovely day

Good luck with the birth and the christening

Silver1 Sun 23-Aug-09 12:27:47

I think it's lovely that you want to have your child Christened-and I think that is the most important thing that you want it.

Traditionally the party is to welcome the child and celebrate their gift of baptism so YANBU-your plan sounds lovely and I hope you all have a great day

IsItMeOr Sun 23-Aug-09 13:27:48

Sounds exactly like all the christenings I have been to with family and friends (although I'm not religious myself). Your plans sound lovely to me, and I'm sure would be a welcome opportunity for your farflung family to meet the new arrival and catch up with each other.

elvislives Sun 23-Aug-09 13:48:09

This is in AIBU and IMO YABU. If you want people to agree with you post under a different heading.

Baconsarnie Sun 23-Aug-09 13:51:18

Your plan sounds spot on, and you've obviously thought carefully about everything. Good luck! x

diddl Sun 23-Aug-09 14:07:15

Surely it´s up to you what sort of get together you have after the Christening?

AMumInScotland Sun 23-Aug-09 15:47:58

If you want to have your baby baptised, and plan to do what you've said you'll do during the service (raising them in the Christian faith), then I think it's entirely up to you if you want to invite a lot of family and friends along to the church and for a pissup afterwards, or do it quietly yourselves.

If some of the people there are only along to "welcome" the baby and for the party, and don't have any interest in the religious side of it, then that's not a problem.

I see loads of baptisms in my church, and they vary hugely - sometimes just parents and godparents, sometimes a small group of people I recognise from church, or who at least look familiar with being in church. Sometimes a large group of family who look uncomfortable in their smart clothes and probably haven't been in any church since the last wedding/funeral. All ok.

But warn them they can't smoke in church, and get them to turn off mobiles, and warn any with small children what would be good points to wander round and when they ought to be paying attention.

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