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To ask them to bring the Toys back to Mums?

(24 Posts)
CyradisTheDMSlayer Fri 21-Aug-09 15:00:49

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belgo Fri 21-Aug-09 15:03:29

why didn't you just say to your brother that you had paid for the toys and they are meant to stay at the grandmother's house?

diddl Fri 21-Aug-09 15:04:41

Possibly a problem if your Mum also paid out money for the toys.
She may have told your SIL it was OK to take some.
So I would check the situation rather than just ask for them to be returned.

TheProvincialLady Fri 21-Aug-09 15:04:51

No I think YANBU.

Sheeta Fri 21-Aug-09 15:05:10

Just ask your Db to bring them back? they might not even realise..

FimbleHobbs Fri 21-Aug-09 15:06:59

I think YANBU unless your niece has developed a major attachment to a particular toy and needs it to settle her. Or if your brother and SIL have no money or toys it would be mean to deprive your niece.

How many toys are you talking about? It might just be an innocent mistake. And are they definately 'Grandma House' toys or could any of the toys you saw be duplicates?

belgo Fri 21-Aug-09 15:08:35

that's a good point, the grandmother may have agreed to the toys being taken, in which case I probably wouldn't say anything.

MrsBadger Fri 21-Aug-09 15:08:44

diddi is right - your mum may have given them things she thinks she paid for, iyswim.

but generally yanbu

ya, however, bu to give toys a capital T every time - it's not someone's name! wink

StretchFucksTheMailDaily Fri 21-Aug-09 15:10:15


belgo Fri 21-Aug-09 15:10:45

I'm also wondering what toys they were that warrants the capital Tgrin!

FourArms Fri 21-Aug-09 15:14:54

NBU to ask for them to bring them back... but in future, buy all toys for GP's house from NCT sales or car boots - don't spend a fortune on them.

littlenamelessunrememberedacts Fri 21-Aug-09 15:16:44

I see your concern, and YANBU

BUT are they a bit strapped and can't afford to buy toys for their dd? If so it might be nice to just let a few toys go, if your son has plenty more - maybe that's what your mum was thinking?

YANBU to be a bit aggrieved, but I wouldn't demand them all back on principle if there is a good reason for letting her have a few of them.

CyradisTheDMSlayer Fri 21-Aug-09 15:33:37

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Silver1 Fri 21-Aug-09 15:49:08

Ask your mum to mention it to your brother.

allaboutme Fri 21-Aug-09 15:52:09

Depends who paid for them though I guess.
If your Mum paid for the ones she gave away then you cant really say anything...

traceybath Fri 21-Aug-09 16:02:27

YANBU - we had a similar situation and it all got a little awkward as MIL to scared of her other son to say anything.

I think its good to have toys at GP's that stay there.

slowreadingprogress Fri 21-Aug-09 16:27:45

well, YANBU but personally I wouldn't give this headspace. I couldn't get worried about this personally. I wouldn't replenish the box mind you!

danthe4th Fri 21-Aug-09 16:35:53

We had toys for our children and my sisters at grandmas and to be honest we didn't spend a great deal most were bits that had been given or picked up at sales but all of the 6 children knew that they stayed at grandmas it was a kind of unwritten rule.I would perhaps let it go but mention to your mum that you want toys to stay at grandmas and to be honest its up to her, but if she keeps letting them go I would explain that the young children will think they can take toys from anyones house and you don't want that to happen.

DesperateHousewifeToo Fri 21-Aug-09 17:44:59

Could you make a joke of it with them and ask them if they can't afford their own and that's why they nabbed them?grin. You'd have to make sure it didn't come across as passive-agressive though.

Obviously, as you paid for them, they are yours.

Perhaps they borrowed them whilst they unpacked their own stuff. Ask your mum what happened.

screamingabdab Fri 21-Aug-09 17:50:13

YANBU, but really I think it was up to your mum to make it clear that these toys "live" at her house.

We have a similar system at my mum's. The various grandchildren are allowed to borrow individual toys, on the proviso they bring them back next visit (Sounds stricter than it is, but you see what I mean).

I don't know what your family is like, but if it were me, I'd let it go this time, but ask your mum to make it clear for the future.

GypsyMoth Fri 21-Aug-09 17:53:54

which toys are suitable for both a 3year old AND A 7 month old,is what i'm wondering!!

CyradisTheDMSlayer Fri 21-Aug-09 19:11:27

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screamingabdab Fri 21-Aug-09 19:13:40

My nearly-9 year old plays with old baby toys more than he did when he was a baby !

zipzap Sat 22-Aug-09 23:17:00

How often are you there at the same time as your DB and family?

Could you get your ds to ask where one of his 'favourite' toys is - or could you ask your mum where one of his toys is - then notice that more and more others aren't there and use that as a discussion into 'I'm sure you are only borrowing them whilst moving into your new house but please could you bring back my at-grandma's-house toys next time as it is a real pain when ds is expecting to play with stuff here and it has gone, and it's not like I can afford to buy lots more toys to leave here. I don't mind your dd playing with them when she is here but I bought the toys specifically so that there would be toys for the kids when we came over, they look forward to playing with the different toys here... etc etc'

It's also worth mentioning to your mum, even just that you were a bit surprised to see that your db had taken home a load of the 'at granny's house' toys to see what she says and let that lead into a discussion to get her to ask for them back.

Or even just ask her when your db is bringing the toys that he has borrowed back as your dc love playing with xx/you want to see dd playing with yy as ds loved it so much/etc - when discussing it with her go in with the mindset that she has said they can borrow them briefly for the move and will be bringing them back, that it never occurs to you that she has said that she has given them away and see how that conversation goes, that way you are not having to directly ask her to get them returned IYSWIM...

good luck!

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