Elmo, Thankyou, I know it is going to take some time. But I also learnt something from last night. He went to bed same time but was awake at 11.30 still and today he has been pushing his boundaries...so it shows it is a sleep thing i think.
So tonight bedtime is back to 8pm if he wants to watch a film and sleep at 9.30.
As for how it turned, sometimes people cannot see what a poster is saying. TBH i just needed to get it all off my chest so to speak.
it does you good sometimes to vent on mn's doesn't it , my ds is 10 & my dd is 3 , so like you there's a big gap between them , my ds also likes to feel he is in charge some times but i quickly put him back in his place , so you are not on your own , yep that sounds good bed at 8pm & lights out by 9.30pm. good luck