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aaaargh MIL!

(28 Posts)
StealthBearWipesBumOnDailyMail Wed 19-Aug-09 16:59:31

She's lovely but does have an attitude of "It will be fine, why are you worrying". She's invited us to a family party 12 days after my due date. I said we'd love to come but wanted to know if it was in a restaurant as so near due date (restaurants harder to get out of etc). Her reply "Oh I'm sure the baby will have come by then" hmmhmmhmm
Well it might, it also might not. There's also a chance that depending on the birth I might be in hospital / not up to visiting / lying on the sofa with bleeding nipples. But the attitude is "it will be fine, stop worrying". Aaaargh
AIBU?

BitOfFun Wed 19-Aug-09 17:00:45

Yes. <pats on head> It'll be fine grin

Sheeta Wed 19-Aug-09 17:01:00

ARGH!! YANBU, of course.

DS was born 10 days after my due date. Didn't get out of hospital until the next day.

she's mad!!

StewieGriffinsMom Wed 19-Aug-09 17:02:16

Message withdrawn

StealthBearWipesBumOnDailyMail Wed 19-Aug-09 17:04:31

oi BOF angry
wink

StealthBearWipesBumOnDailyMail Wed 19-Aug-09 17:06:14

It isn't in a restaurant btw so it is fine - it's just the attitude.
Have to admit I replied with "well a couple of my friends have gone 2 weeks overdue so it does happen, plus depending on the birth I might be in no fit state." DH's cousin is also expecting a baby at the same time and will be going - I really hope they are both here and everything is fine by then.

TheCrackFox Wed 19-Aug-09 17:07:20

I think your MIL has a point.

Now I was a complete wreck after having DCs and was in no fit state to leave the house. However, I do know women who did a supermarket shop the day they gave birth, mowed the lawn 2 days after birth etc.

Some women are on a complete high weeks after giving birth. You might be one of them

If not - just cancel.

StealthBearWipesBumOnDailyMail Wed 19-Aug-09 17:09:44

well I was last time - was out and about the next day. But she will be so surprised and disappointed if we're not, and won't understand that actually it's not always like that.

BitOfFun Wed 19-Aug-09 17:13:19

I was at the supermarket the same day last time, and I am probably one of those irritating optimistic types- shame I have no sons and won't get to be a MIL from hell grin

BitOfFun Wed 19-Aug-09 17:15:08

I should point out I wasn't doing a weekly shop though - it was just for a bottle of champagne and an excuse to show the baby off. Looking back, I was probably completely high on hormones- it doesn't seem quite rational now!

StealthBearWipesBumOnDailyMail Wed 19-Aug-09 17:15:10

Knowing my luck the baby's cousin will be there being cooed over and I will be the failure on the sofa trying to feed and recover from the birth
Hoping for the same as last time - that would make the baby 8 days old, DS went to a wedding at 2 days older so it can be done!

StealthBearWipesBumOnDailyMail Wed 19-Aug-09 17:15:50

lol at weekly shop!

sporadicname Wed 19-Aug-09 17:30:33

YANBU, even if you are ok to go, it would be good that you can enjoy feeling like you have made it rather than it being expected iyswim.

The parental/PIL magic skills of being able to see in to the future and know you will have had your baby must be a skill we all gain in later life. wink

Fwiw, I would have been in labour 12 days after my due date!

overweightnoverdrawn Wed 19-Aug-09 17:47:57

to be honest it dosnt matter what you tell her . Wether you will be there or wont . The baby comes when it wants so not your choice .

LynetteScavo Wed 19-Aug-09 17:54:19

For some reason this OP had made me even more crosss about everything than I already am!!!

No, Y A NOT B U.

Sheeta Wed 19-Aug-09 19:56:31

Stealth, seriously? Wow... I was one of those people who could barely make it off the sofa for about 2 weeks after the birth. Wedding with a 10 day old baby? Impressive!

Firawla Wed 19-Aug-09 19:59:39

how insistent is she? cant you just be like we will see how it goes? and if you're up to it you go, if not then don't? then not really a big deal...

StealthBearWipesBumOnDailyMail Wed 19-Aug-09 21:22:53

well she's replied to my last text with "no pressure, just whatever you're comfortable with"
so she is lovely and I am a wicked DIL

Sheeta - we only went for the ceremony, and the bit after but before the meal (canapes and champagne ). It was only an hour away and yet we stopped on the way back to break up the journey! And I do remember getting organised for it was very stressful! Was worth it though - it was DH's cousin, the one who is now due on the same day as me

landrover Thu 20-Aug-09 13:20:59

champagne good one

JemL Thu 20-Aug-09 14:44:41

My MIL booked a holiday for just over 3 weeks after my due date. Her reasoning was that I would have had the baby at least two weeks before the due date - as she herself had always done. When I went 13 days overdue, spent 2 days in labour and then 5 days in hospital after em-cs, all she could talk about was that she needed to see and cuddle the baby as much as she could as she was going to be "missing out" (on her 3 week luxury holiday...hmm Now, I don't expect her to fit in her holidays around me, or not to feel sad at missing out, but it was the attitude that I would just fit in with her plans, and her obvious irritation when I didn't that REALLY annoyed me.

<<makes note on page 74 of "Things not to do when I am MIL" notebook>>

GibbonInARibbon Thu 20-Aug-09 14:48:44

YANBU at all.

angelene Thu 20-Aug-09 15:10:07

Jem my ILs did the same thing - booked their holiday for three weeks after due date.

When DH called FIL and basically told him that we were all in a complete state, that we really couldn't cope (my mum was ill with a serious infection and should really have been in hospital) and that we would really have appreciated them being around to help out, he airily said that they expected the baby to be born on the due date.

What idiots expect babies to be born on their due dates??!

Spottyotter Thu 20-Aug-09 15:13:37

My PIL invited us to a family party 10 days after my due date. Fortunately for us ds made his appearance 2 weeks early. If we had not attended there would have been SERIOUS hell to pay.

StayFrostyDMisaVileRag Thu 20-Aug-09 15:20:58

<hello Stealth>

yanbu, 12 days after my due date with dd I was in hospital busy getting the feeling back in my legs after epidural, having finally popped her out the previous evening. I was also greatly preoccupied negotiating that tricky first post birth shower/poo, with huge trepidation in the case of the latter. If anyone had tried to get me to go to a party of any description I would probably have headbutted them.

StayFrostyDMisaVileRag Thu 20-Aug-09 15:27:25

....also, who are these people who expect new parents to attend family functions with days old babies? It was weeks and weeks before I felt up to doing anything other than wear trackie bottoms, gaze at dd or slump slackjawed in front of America's Next Top Model feeding her. I am amazed at these tales of gallivanting in supermarkets and at parties. Am I just really inadequate?

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