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to think my dh is a TOTAL KNOBHEAD (part II)

(29 Posts)
smallwhitecat Mon 17-Aug-09 21:14:35

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Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 17-Aug-09 21:18:33

Was it your husband that got lost in the Devil's Punchbowl?


smallwhitecat Mon 17-Aug-09 21:19:44

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shootfromthehip Mon 17-Aug-09 21:25:35

LOL at a 'vortex of fuckwittage'. I actually snorted.

Sorry to hear that your husband seemed to have left his brain at home when he took your LO out! Mine does it all the time... ask me about the 2 times he's accidentally bumped my DD into the river next to our house... It was hysterical, honestly. Ha. Ha.

SomeoneElseHasTheNameTrinity Mon 17-Aug-09 21:28:55

2 times!!!!

did he not learn from the first

how do you accidently bump a child into a river

I'm sorry I am laughing... tell us grin

smallwhitecat Mon 17-Aug-09 21:35:50

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shootfromthehip Mon 17-Aug-09 21:37:57

The first time they were 'fishing' (yeah I know) and he leaned over her and pushed her in face first. She was soaking (it was Feb) and she was hysterical and had actually cried herself to sleep by the time she got home (she was about 2).

The second time they were flipping 'fishing' again. DH had DS in the back pack and he swang round and whacked her off a pier. She was submerged and surprisingly philosophical about it 'Daddy pushed me in the river again Mummy'. She was 4.

He's brilliant with them but he's a bit of a disaster on occasion.

I've taught DD to swim as a matter of necessity obviously! She's now 5!

This may all still be ahead of you!

Good luck

Hassled Mon 17-Aug-09 21:38:04

Yes, I want to know about the accidental bumping of a small child twice as well .

I confess I've had to google the Devil's Punchbowl, and have learnt that it was all Thor's fault, taunting the Devil. Blame Thor for the Fuckwittage Vortex.

SammyK Mon 17-Aug-09 21:38:22

I'm sorry but grin

Hassled Mon 17-Aug-09 21:39:04

X post - am extremely relieved you've taught her to swim!

shootfromthehip Mon 17-Aug-09 21:39:19

SWC- great, let me know when and where and I'll pack a bag for him myself wink

Joeymac Mon 17-Aug-09 21:42:32

Please stop.... I have actually just wet myself. Pelvic floor isn't what it used to be.

smallwhitecat Mon 17-Aug-09 21:43:44

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WhatFreshHellIsThis Mon 17-Aug-09 21:44:19

shootfromthehip that really is spectactular! I'm PMSL at your DDs blase attitude to being shoved in the drink grin

shootfromthehip Mon 17-Aug-09 21:54:15

Ah we lurch from one parenting disaster to another in this house so I've taught them both that pragmatism will be necessary for their survival in this family.

Oh and DD doesn't have a really good memory- well not that good- she may be reminded of that event occasionally, or more accurately her father may hear about it a little bit. grin

smallwhitecat Mon 17-Aug-09 22:00:41

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Stayingsunnygirl Mon 17-Aug-09 22:30:37

Dh and his brother once took the dses to the park to play. It was a freezing winter day, and when they decided they wanted to play 'Piggy in the middle', dh thought it would be a good idea to use a lump of ice, because they didn't have a ball with them - and dbil agreed.

Fast forward about 20 minutes, and they arrive home with ds2 crying, and sporting a nice cut over his eye, where the ice 'ball' that dh had thrown, had hit him.

Can I sign him up for Fuckwits Anonymous, please? grin

SomeoneElseHasTheNameTrinity Mon 17-Aug-09 22:33:32

roffle @ deciding to play piggy in the middle when they dont even have a ball with them grin

BitOfFun Mon 17-Aug-09 22:39:10


tadjennyp Tue 18-Aug-09 04:19:54

Thankyou for really cheering me up on a day spent worrying about silly American health insurance. Will stay tuned for more instalments! grin

EachPeachPearMum Tue 18-Aug-09 05:15:24

"vortex of fuckwittage".... utter genius grin

duchesse Tue 18-Aug-09 05:26:23

He sounds funny! I did laugh at vortex of fuckwittage too. Was always rather fond of the general shabbiness of Hindhead myself- such a breath of fresh air compared to other parts of Surrey.

MummyDragon Tue 18-Aug-09 10:47:16

Can I volunteer my DH for the fuckwittage club too please? The number of times he has taken the kids to the beach, without anything other than the clothes they stand up in, and they have come home naked and soaking wet (yes, even their coats are soaking)... you'd think he'd realise, after 5 years, that they are going to run STRAIGHT into the sea the moment they get there, even in the middle of winter, wouldn't you??

Oh God. He is taking the DCs to the New Forest tomorrow ... without me ...

I think I need to forewarn the emergency services, and ensure that the car is well stocked with torches, flares and Kendal Mint Cake grin

BootleBumtrinket Tue 18-Aug-09 11:08:14

Please may I sign my DH up too?

He once took DS (was about 2) to storytime at a bookshop with another Dad and kid. I was having coffee with a friend when I received an irate phonecall from him ranting at me for not packing spare socks in the changing bag. Wet socks at a bookshop? Genius Man though it would be nice to let very high spirited boy play by the pond in the courtyard area. And... (collapse in shock)....then he fell in. And it was all my fault that he had wet socks for the rest of the day hmm

smallwhitecat Tue 18-Aug-09 12:10:16

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