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to object to ex asking if his girlfriend of 2 weeks can stay , with him, at my house while I am away?

(18 Posts)
colditz Mon 17-Aug-09 07:50:47

He texted me yesterday .... "Is it okay if X stops over if I have the kids at yours?"

Um. No. Actually, no it isn't.

I have no objection to hisgirlfriend, I thing it's great he's finally moved on. I have no objection to her spending time with the kids when he does.

I don't, however, want her in or anywhere near my house.

I suspect this is a not-very-adult solution of the ex's to the fact that his bedroom (his housemate informs me) is squalid, and he'd much rather shag her in my nice clean bed.

Am I being unreasonable?

4andnotout Mon 17-Aug-09 07:52:54


PM73 Mon 17-Aug-09 07:53:48

No yanbu, there is no way i would allow it.

zookeeper Mon 17-Aug-09 07:54:24

Bloody hell. How very civilised of him.

Tell him he must be joking.


piscesmoon Mon 17-Aug-09 07:59:40

YANBU-I am all for having a good relationship with ex partners but that is going too far-way too far.

MIAonline Mon 17-Aug-09 08:07:20

YANBU and I can't believe he even asked!

colditz Mon 17-Aug-09 08:09:16

It IS somehow worse that he asked, isn't it?! Rather than sneaking around behind my back. It implies he thinks that this is a perfectly reasonable request!

Deemented Mon 17-Aug-09 08:09:39

YANBU - though i'm impressed he did ask - at least you didn't come home to find their stray pubes on your sheets... <boak emoticon>

picmaestress Mon 17-Aug-09 08:10:11

I very much doubt she would want to? There's no WAY I would if I was his new girlfriend, it's just weird. I wonder if he's told her yet?

I would hide all the sheets and duvets at another friends house so he couldn't do it secretly anyway...

TaxiLady Mon 17-Aug-09 08:10:57

isn't it a bit soon for him to be involving his new totty in the children's lives?

can he not keep it in his pants for a mere week so he can spend proper time with his children?


MamaLazarou Mon 17-Aug-09 08:38:39

Yuck, YANBU. I couldn't bear the thought of people shagging in my bed while I'm away. This is why I always get my best friend to cat-sit for us: he lives a monk-like existence (and the house is always tidier than we left it! grin )

differentDM Mon 17-Aug-09 08:40:55

oh no way in hell would I allow her in my house. If there is no formal arrangements ie they live together, then definitely not. If they were in a long term relationship and living together then Maybe.

EightiesChick Mon 17-Aug-09 08:44:50

YANBU. However, I disagree it's worse that he asked. For some people this would be a reasonable request and at least he is asking rather than just doing it behind your back. However, you always have the right to refuse anyone entry to your home and you don't have to justify this. In your shoes I would not want a new girlfriend staying over either.

All that said, if he is staying over, I'm not sure how you can prevent her just 'staying because it's late...' other than removing bed linen as mentioned above or something similar. Does he have to stay at yours?

colditz Mon 17-Aug-09 08:50:27

No, he doesn't have to stay at mine, that's the thing. He has somewhere to live where the children are welcome. The new girlfriend, however, is NOT welcome there because his housemate has children and doesn't want them to be introduced to random people.

He just wants to shag her at my house.

PMSL my sole source of information about heris that she bought DS1 a bag of Rainbow Drops (foul sweeties that he holds in high esteem) and they are relatively hard to get hold of, so she can't be bad if she's prepared to go to that effort for Ds1. The kids like her anyway, and I am naturally inclined to like anyone who has distracted exp from moaning about my boyfriend.

2rebecca Mon 17-Aug-09 09:19:59

If he doesn't have to stay at your house then I wouldn't have him there either. Different if he has to stay to take the kids to school etc.

landrover Thu 20-Aug-09 12:36:26


TheProfiteroleThief Thu 20-Aug-09 12:39:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gagamama Thu 20-Aug-09 12:48:53

YANBU, but you have now instilled in me a longing for Rainbow Drops in all their crusty, chewy, E-numbered, stale-rice-crispy-like glory. So therefore, YABU.

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