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to fibor not to fib?Maybe this is more of a WWYD

(16 Posts)
SolidGoldBrass Sun 16-Aug-09 22:09:54

so today we were at DS dad's parents golden wedding party. The situation is that DS dad and I are not a couple, we are amicable co-parents (DS was a surprise, we are/were longstanding drinking buddies) - more than one of the elderly relatives were saying things like 'Ah, so you're [DS dad]'s wife. I was generaly saying, with a nice smile, oh I am DS's mum. and not elaborating. Has anyone else been in such a situation and if so what did you do?

justineandcarrieneedanewlawyer Sun 16-Aug-09 22:11:18

nod and grin.

abbierhodesHATESTHEDAILYMAIL Sun 16-Aug-09 22:14:15

Not been in this situation, but I think I'd just smile sweetly and say 'Partner, actually!' and leave it at that...you are partners, in parenting, so you're not actually lying! No need to shock the old dears or divulge your private business if you don't want to!!

Unusual arrangement you have, but sounds great! Do you live together? (Nosey emoticon)

SolidGoldBrass Sun 16-Aug-09 22:49:25

No. We have separate homes, though DS dad stays at ours a fair bit (and indeed once borrowed our house to entertain his ladyfriend who is a single mum of nosy teenagers but that's another story).It occurs to me that things might get very complicated if he gets seriously involved with anyone else (i am not into such things) but I expect we will ride it out if it happens. One of the old dears said 'So are you the other daughter-in-law then?'

GrimmaTheNome Sun 16-Aug-09 22:53:34

Would a phrase such as 'something like that' help?

GrimmaTheNome Sun 16-Aug-09 22:56:18

And to answer your question - probably best to fib or at least evade the truth. What purpose would upsetting their assumptions serve?

edam Sun 16-Aug-09 22:58:24

Fibbing sounds good - they aren't actually asking for a complete debrief of your living arrangements right there at a family party. 'Oh, I am ds's mum' sounds like the perfect response, actually.

twoclimbingboys Sun 16-Aug-09 23:02:30

I would have responded excatly as you did and just evade the truth.

hambler Sun 16-Aug-09 23:06:56

You handled it well.
I thought you spoke about maybe marrying your son's dad?

hambler Sun 16-Aug-09 23:08:09

Answer truthfully.....did you get a delicious shiver at being thought of as his wife ? grin

SolidGoldBrass Mon 17-Aug-09 00:26:36

Hambler, this is one of those moments where MN's need for a vigoruously mooning emoticon becomes clear.

(and yes ages ago DS dad and I did get a bit pissed and he proposed and I said I would think about it. And fortunately, for all our sakes, i thought it was a bad idea and when he had sobered up so did he).

cornsillk Mon 17-Aug-09 00:31:11

I think what you said was fine.

PaulDacreForExample Mon 17-Aug-09 00:35:59

SGB - I think an evasive answer is fine in this situation.

At our wedding, our gay best man insisted on spilling his heart out about his temporary (think 30 minutes at the evening reception) breakup with his boyfriend to my rather startled uncles who were over from the West of Ireland.

They handled it with aplomb but it was a bit unnecessary as well as grin.

The rule of thumb on disclosing information here is 'Whatever you say, say nothing.' A very useful mantra.

How great that you have such a positive relationship with DS's dad.

hambler Mon 17-Aug-09 00:37:39

SGB I think you should request the vigorous mooning emoticon.

Till then will this do?

OO

hambler Mon 17-Aug-09 00:38:53

must say though I am surprised you were in the least concerned about others assuming the normal social conventions applied smile

SolidGoldBrass Mon 17-Aug-09 00:49:03

actuallly maybe >(*)< is better..

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