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I know im being selfish - but AIBU?

(13 Posts)
iknowimmean Sun 16-Aug-09 18:38:54

My mum has announced today that she is getting married to her partner of 11 years. date is set for her birthday early next year.
Im really happy for her, she is so happy, they are happy and it will be wonderful.

I know im being a complete bitch to even think the next thought.... but i feel a little bit sad as im just getting divorced and it hurts a little bit to see someone get married and be so happy. esp when its my mum.

I havent uttered a word of this to anyone, and wouldnt darent, but i did just wonder if i was BU to think that even for just one second.

SomeoneElseHasTheNameTrinity Sun 16-Aug-09 18:40:09

not unreasonable
and not a complete bitch

<hugs> smile

GirlsAreLoud Sun 16-Aug-09 18:40:32

Totally normal.

You obviously love your Mum very much.

It will get better, all of it.

FabBakerGirlIsBack Sun 16-Aug-09 18:41:42

NU at all.

You can be happy for someone else while being sad for yourself at the same time. Hell, I am always feeling happy and sad.

iknowimmean Sun 16-Aug-09 18:43:13

thanks - thought i would get a roasting.

Its just a bit difficult they are going no expenses spared, ( he has never been married before) saying that he only intends to get married once. I did say that i only intended to get married once too... then shut my mouth as i realised i was out of order.

Im taking her dress shopping in a few weeks. Cant wait will be lovely, but still feel very sad and a bit jealous.

Im not regretting my divorce at all. It was the right thing to do and i wouldnt take him back for a second. But it still makes me sad.

greeneyedg1rl Sun 16-Aug-09 18:43:53

not in the slightest bit unreasonable.

divorce is a crap time, but the time will pass. Trust me, it will.

<hugs> from me too

DollyPS Sun 16-Aug-09 18:45:51

Not being unreasonable at all hen

YanknCock Sun 16-Aug-09 18:46:12

The vast majority of us only intend to get married once. I certainly did, and was divorced after 4.5 years.

Nothing wrong with feeling a bit sad, even when you know a divorce is the right thing. I'm still a bit sad about mine, even though it's been a few years and I am remarried!

madameDefarge Sun 16-Aug-09 18:46:53

maybe you could reframe it for yourself? If you mum can find happiness and love again, then there is hope for that again in your life too?

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Sun 16-Aug-09 18:52:23

Not surprising that it hurts...but look at your mum, she's found love again, and she's having the lovely wedding, you can too in the future

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern Sun 16-Aug-09 18:53:27

You know reading your post didn't make me think bitch it made me think what a lovely person you are actually. grin
It takes a big person to bite down their own hurt and feelings in a situation like this and be genuinely happy for someone else.
I think you are perfectly normal having these feelings you wouldn't be human if you didn't but being able to see the other side makes you pretty damn lovely in my book.

piscesmoon Sun 16-Aug-09 18:55:34

Perfectly understandable to feel that way-as long as you don't tell your mum there is no harm done. I would agree with madameDefrage-you obviously are not ready for it -but it should at least give hope in the long term.

landrover Wed 19-Aug-09 19:32:13

you are fine

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