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to think friends ar a bit selfish when it comes to holidays

(37 Posts)
katiestar Sat 15-Aug-09 18:11:17

A couple who are neighbours of ours have 4 children -2 bots 10 and 8 and 2 girls 6 and 5.
Mum has been on holiday several weekend and 1 full week skiing with her friends.Dad has had a weeks skiing with his friends plus another week skiing with his father + eldest son.Then mum and dad have taken the 2 eldest boys on a weeks skiing with 2 other families , and left the 2 little girls at home and school with the grandparents coming to look after them Reason - they couldn't afford for them all to go !

Feel really sorrt for the youngest 2 who haven't had a holiday at all.
We are very old fashioned I think, in that we all go as a family and if we can't afford for everyone to do it,then we find something cheaper.I'm probably a bit envious of all their holidays although I don't think I'd actually feel right about being away so much without my DC.

TrillianAstra Sat 15-Aug-09 18:13:26

I would say parents away without children sounds like a good idea (if you don't get twitchy being away from your kids). But some children getting a holiday and the others not getting one at all seems a bit mean. Fair enough if they get to do two different things, but not if on set doesn't get anything.

cornsillk Sat 15-Aug-09 18:13:48

2 year old probably doesn't know any different? Does seem a bit mean though.

katiestar Sat 15-Aug-09 18:15:06

sorry I mean the youngest 2 children ie the 6yo and the 5 yo

HaggisNeepsnTatties Sat 15-Aug-09 18:17:38

I think YABU - its up to them how they decide to holiday and who to take....and a holiday without kids sounds bliss...grin

kinnies Sat 15-Aug-09 18:30:21

Sounds like they are very unkind!!


Blondeshavemorefun Sat 15-Aug-09 18:35:08

nothing wrong with parents going away WITHOUT children


then the whole family do need to go away/spend time together as well

does seem a bit unfair that the parents both go away without their children, and the older 2 have a family holiday but the younger 2 who at 5 and 6 arent babies get left out sad

herbietea Sat 15-Aug-09 18:35:40

Message withdrawn

Niecie Sat 15-Aug-09 18:35:53

I wouldn't have a week long holiday without the children but if they want to no problem with that.

But it seems a bit odd that the 10 yr old boy gets 2 holidays and the two girls, who are old enough to realise they are missing out, get nothing.


LaurieFairyCake Sat 15-Aug-09 18:38:21

I don't think the two youngest are bound to know they're missing out - bet they think they're on holiday at the grandparents grin

Blondeshavemorefun Sat 15-Aug-09 18:40:45

they werent at the gps'

the gp's went to their house and the family took out the boys from school on holiday

yet the girls had no holiday and had to go to school

very unfair imho

TheFallenMadonna Sat 15-Aug-09 18:44:03

Well - finanaces permitting (hmm) DH and I intend to go away next summer without our children. And we won't be able to afford another holiday with them as well. They won't be bothered, and will stay with their grandparents and have a ball.

It's only a problem if the children are bothered by it. What you do is irrelevant really.

questioneverything Sat 15-Aug-09 19:46:40

They will get reported to SS next for non-holiday abuse.

nooka Sat 15-Aug-09 19:54:04

My parents did this (also a family of four). Their reasoning was that when we were younger we wouldn't appreciate the trip. It worked out fair in the end because we got taken on trips when my elder brother and sister were deemed too old for family holidays. I would disprove of holidays taken in term time, but that's another thread entirely... There does appear to be a bit of a thing with the skiing - my parents were similar about walking holidays - when we were younger we were very glad not to be dragged along!

muggglewump Sat 15-Aug-09 19:58:57

I've just posted in another thread about how I've been to London twice without DD, and both of those times there was no holiday for her.
The year before I went to Belgium for the Grand Prix without her, though I did take her on a Sun Holiday.

I needed time alone, I needed space and she went to my best friend two doors away and had a ball.

If it works for them, and the kids are happy, then I don't see the problem.

katiestar Sun 16-Aug-09 11:13:56

But i wonder if the younger kids are happy ?Would you have been happy to stay at home and go to school while boith your parents take your siblings off on holiday ?

skihorse Sun 16-Aug-09 12:00:43

Do you ski? It's clear to me that this family love skiing. Skiing with whiny brats who can't ski is a waste of time, money and resources and will make everyone unhappy.

lyraSilvertongue Sun 16-Aug-09 12:09:23

YANBU. I think the parents are very selfish to pay for themselves to go away several times a year but their little girls get nothing. If they cut back on their weekend trips they could surely afford to take their daughters somewhere.

junglist1 Sun 16-Aug-09 14:21:44

It would be nice for them to do something altogether aswell, I think. It doesn't seem right. Hopefully they might plan something else

chablis Sun 16-Aug-09 14:57:51

YABU and it's none of your business really hmm

The problem is that you're applying your perceptions of what is fair/ unfair/ selfish/unselfish etc on this family. You don't know any of the circumstances.

Not everyone enjoys big family holidays, and I agree a skiing holiday with non-skiing children can be pointless and expensive.

How do you know that they're not planning to take th girls somewhere else on another occasion?

How do you know that the girls are even remotely bothered?!

As others have said, the girls will get their family holiday chances when the boys have left home too.

Family holidays are massively overrated anyway IMHO grin

katiestar Sun 16-Aug-09 15:08:50

No you are right it isn't my business , it is more the trend to do this sort of thing that interests me.
Among my friends ,it seems a lot more unusual to go together just as a family ie without other families coming along too , or without children being left with GPs or taken but put in holiday clubs all day every day.I actually love that on holiday we get to spend time together as a family ,I love being able to show the DC new things and shring new experiences.

juicyjolly Sun 16-Aug-09 15:09:06

YANBU...I would never go on holiday and pick and choose which child can come and which cant!

Going on a break with your partner is one thing but to leave some kids and not others is just cruel!

Longtalljosie Sun 16-Aug-09 15:15:57

I ski, ski-horse, and knew how to by the age of 6...

As far as ski-ing with "whiny brats" is concerned, what's the difference between 6 and 8? They'll both be at ski-school half the day presumably, anyway...

BadgersArse Sun 16-Aug-09 15:23:03

i dont htink i matters re the younger kids but the OLDER kids see them as a "disposable " part of the family

saying that rather at home than in a creche at resort

Mailcentreplus Sun 16-Aug-09 15:36:27 you know the complete circumstances?...maybe they said they couldn't afford it to you to get their nosey neighbour off their backs grin..I would'nt judge tis their business..have you spoken to the little girls in question to check they have'nt been emotionally affected by this? grin

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