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to refuse to find out the sex of my babies?

(65 Posts)
bumblingalong Fri 14-Aug-09 10:27:55

I probably am! I'm pregnant with twins & have my 20wk scan soon & everone keeps saying "ooh i can't wait to find out what you're having".
AIBU to tell them to bugger off & they can wait till they're born even if i do find out what sex they are? Really stuggling with my hormones & can't decide if its cos I'm hormonal or just being stubborn!

Scotia Fri 14-Aug-09 10:30:57

Why would that be unreasonable? It's entirely up to you - not unreasonable either way surely. Just say you don't want to know until they are born, or if you don't want to say that, tell people they couldn't see at the scan.

Scotia Fri 14-Aug-09 10:31:29

Oh, and congratulations

Sheeta Fri 14-Aug-09 10:31:29

lol, of course YANBU.

your twins, your decision

(although if I was having twins I'd want to know if I was having one of each, or two the same)

mustsleep Fri 14-Aug-09 10:31:43

No I know someone that only told their mum what she was having as her dh didn't want to know and she kept it a secret for the full term

Although I would HAVE to know myself grin

duchesse Fri 14-Aug-09 10:32:18

Tell them they have another 20 weeks to wait. That should shut em up. We haven't found out the sex of any of our (nearly) 4 children. Each time I've had an idea, but it's so much more fun ime to wait and find out at the birth.

I will go on record now to say that I suspect that this one about to be born is a boy even though it seems to be the size of my daughters... I've just been telling poeple they will find out as soon as we do.

duchesse Fri 14-Aug-09 10:32:59

Oh and very many congratulations on your pregnancy!

MamaLazarou Fri 14-Aug-09 10:33:30

Ha ha, no, YANBU darling.

People probably just assume you are finding out the sex, as logistics of baby equipment for twins is more of an issue than for a single baby (especially if you're into the whole 'pink-for-girls-blue-for-boys' thing).

I've got my 20-week scan coming up, and we change our mind every other day about whether or not we're going to find out the sex!

If we do, we will pretend to everyone that we didn't anyway.

bumblingalong Fri 14-Aug-09 10:34:20

I actually do want to find out but dp cannot keep a secret & i've said i don't want to tell people but he wants a good reason why not cos we found out with dd & i was perfectly happy to tell people then. would it be unreasonable to find out & not tell dp??

We didn't find out what we were having and even if we had found out we wouldn't have told anyone. I don't understand why other people feel the need to know before they're born anyway - it's not like there's anything that can be done to change the answer if they don't like it! smile

Do whatever you want & other people will just have to live with your decision. YANBU.

MoonIsATiredSlayer Fri 14-Aug-09 10:37:11

Yes YABU because I am one of those nosey people and I want to know their sex and I don't even know you!grin

If you do find out it will be nigh on impossible not to let it slip at some point.

Deemented Fri 14-Aug-09 10:38:05


I keep getting people telling me i have to find out what i'm having and it's really annoying me!

When i was pregnant with dd, i lost count of the ammount of conversations i had along these lines...

'Ohhh.. do you know what you're having?'


'Well.. what?'

'It's a...'



And that was in my politer moments.


ben5 Fri 14-Aug-09 10:38:26

your babies , your choice. i didn't know with either of mine and really glad i didn't know. i also know people who found out at 20 week scan only to find out when the child is born that the scan was wrong!!

duchesse Fri 14-Aug-09 10:39:44

I sometimes tell people that I'm hoping for a puppy or a foal this time.

bumblingalong Fri 14-Aug-09 10:40:21

Thank you! as i said i'm an hormonal mess this time round so i'm struggling to decide if how i feel is how i would normally feel if that makes sense? & i'm getting very defensive about my decisions & feel like i'm being judged on my parenting skils before they're even born!

MamaLazarou Fri 14-Aug-09 10:42:22

Ha ha, duchesse! I usually say, 'Well DH wants a baby monkey, but I'd be happier with a kitten'. grin

JRocks Fri 14-Aug-09 10:42:23

YANBU - I haven't found out with either of my pregnancies and have found that everyone asks if I know, whether it's friends, or absolute strangers hmm And then I get the 'oh you must be hoping for a girl?' bollocks too (we have one DS already). What is it with being pregnant that makes you the subject of anybody's opinions? grin

MitchyInge Fri 14-Aug-09 10:43:55

It's one of life's few true surprises, YANBU!

MitchyInge Fri 14-Aug-09 10:43:55

It's one of life's few true surprises, YANBU!

MitchyInge Fri 14-Aug-09 10:44:24

It's one of life's few true surprises, YANBU!

MitchyInge Fri 14-Aug-09 10:45:31

Sorry blush

OnlyWantsOne Fri 14-Aug-09 10:51:40

I found out with my DD - but I think, next time round, I would like a surprise. YANBU

You could always find out on the sly...

My friend wanted to know, but her DH (very anal retentive just for the record grin) really did NOT want to know...

She rang them before the appt to tell them that she wanted to know if they could tell her and not her partner.

Any way she found out she was having - and never told her DH

slug Fri 14-Aug-09 10:57:48

It's like opening your present before Christmas. YANBU

Stigaloid Fri 14-Aug-09 10:58:52

I prefer finding out (we are having a girl this time round and had a boy first). I am currently drooling over pretty curtain fabrics and looking at dresses at Baby Monsoon and getting very excited. Can't narrow down names.

YANBU to not want to find out or tell - it is your life.

screamingabdab Fri 14-Aug-09 10:59:34

bumblingalong You will find people on MN who felt judged for finding out the sex of their baby, so it works the other way too.

Try not to take it to heart. Some people are maybe being tactless, and intrusive, others are just over-excited

YANBU, by the way. If you want it to be a surprise, then that's lovely.

I found out the sex of both mine, but then I am a Control Freak grin

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