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AIBU?

that DH has cancelled next week's camping holiday

24 replies

sdr · 13/08/2009 11:12

DH doesn't want to go camping next week as (1) weather may be unsettled and we went camping a couple of weeks ago - weather not that great and (2) is in a grump generally, so won't even look at weather forecast.

He has sold it to kids saying we'll spend the week going out and about. But staying at home means no hols for me. Still have to do chores, cooking etc and usually organise all days out.

Two younger DC's want to go, but can't put tent up with just their help.

So have just cancelled holiday and dog kennels - I had to do that as well!

OP posts:

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Sn0wflake · 13/08/2009 11:17

I have sympathy with him about the weather....it doesn't look like a good summer does it?

But he will have to help you round the house and with organising the trips I would say. Ask him to take the kids out a couple of times and leave you at home to have a rest.

Could you afford to book a caravan somewhere instead?

poopscoop · 13/08/2009 11:18

Do you think he will change his mind? The early party of next week looks fab.

MaryBS · 13/08/2009 11:18

Its a bit unfair isn't it, he's decided and that's it? Well if that's what he wants to do, fine, my attitude would be I'm still having a holiday, and bugger off and leave him to get on with it!

2rebecca · 13/08/2009 11:22

Holidays with children are rarely a holiday for the parents unless you are wealthy and paying for everything to be done for you. Whether you do the organising or your husband shares it depends on your marriage. If you do all household chores then more fool you, stop being a doormat and make your husband pull his weight. 1 person cancelling a family holiday doesn't sound fair. Sounds as though you need to talk both about your holiday and the chore sharing and power sharing in your marriage.

sdr · 13/08/2009 11:23

Sadly, going camping as it's the cheapest option - not much money around at the moment. He is in a grump as his family is having another argument discussion and I got annoyed at him for taking it out on me.

You're right Snowflake - will have to lay down the law. Have 2 teenage DD's (as well as the 2 little ones), so will be more proactive about making sure they help.

Just felt like a moan - especially as came downstairs and kitchen a tip while everyone was sitting around doing nothing (including MIL who is staying this week).

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K999 · 13/08/2009 11:24

Ok, if you're not going - eat out every day, do no chores at all and if he moans about it tell him to do the chores himslelf..

sdr · 13/08/2009 11:26

Things a bit rocky generally at the moment 2rebecca. Both self-employed and not working, recently bought house etc...

Our usual summer holiday is to hire a villa in France with a pool and alternate between days in and day trips. When we do this don't seem to have a problem dividing up the chores.

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Fennel · 13/08/2009 11:27

The weather has been nice where we've been lately (Yorkshire last week, Devon this week). Good camping weather. It's definitely worth checking the forecast for where you're going.

sdr · 13/08/2009 11:30

Luckily hadn't paid for camping so have that money (though have felt bad for cancelling as campground and kennels are small businesses).

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sdr · 13/08/2009 11:30

I think Fennel it has more to do with being in a tent with me!

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2rebecca · 13/08/2009 11:57

If the "kids" are teenagers surely they can help you put the tent up? I've been with my 2 who are younger than that. The weather in Scotland is currently great. OK we're getting showers, but we always do unless it's a freak drought year. I'd drag husband along or buy an easier to erect tent and go without him, muttering about the long term future of your marriage if he makes unilateral decisions not to go on a family holiday.

sdr · 13/08/2009 12:01

Have 4 DC's - 2 teenagers who agree with DH and 2 DS 8 & 4 who want to go camping but can't help as we have a very large tent and need the height and strength. No money sadly for a smaller tent.

He and teenagers see it as just changing what we're doing.

So will follow advice here and make them put in a lot more effort around and organising day trips.

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QuintessentialShadow · 13/08/2009 12:01

You deserve a holiday.

Go without him. If you have two teenagers, I agree they can put the tent up. You will still have fun. And your dh will be all alone at home. Before you know it, he might decide to join you.

QuintessentialShadow · 13/08/2009 12:03

Are you sure you cannot find money to buy a really cheapo small tent and take the smaller children? Leave the people who does not want to go to fend for themselves at home??

PeachyLaPeche · 13/08/2009 12:03

where are you? mn camping meet up in forest of dean weekend after this, no dh's necessary (but theyre allowed)- thread in camping

QuintessentialShadow · 13/08/2009 12:05

argos

Northernlurker · 13/08/2009 12:05

Do you know anyone you could borrow a little tent from? Just big enough to take the little ones away for a couple of nights?

QuintessentialShadow · 13/08/2009 12:09

millets £39.99

I cant find any cheaper than the argos one, sorry

sdr · 13/08/2009 12:11

Will see how DH is when he gets home from taking DS's to the playground. If still too grumpy will seriously consider getting a little tent and going on my own.

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QuintessentialShadow · 13/08/2009 12:12

Could the reason be that the teenagers does not want to go, and he does not want to leave them home alone, and neither does he want to go with grumpy teenagers?

sdr · 13/08/2009 12:14

No - DH specifically said would rather not be stuck in a tent with me for the week. Wider issues at stake at the moment. I thought a week of peace and quiet camping would give us a chance to recharge. DH feels it would just cause more arguments.

So guess a difference of opinion - and have backed down this time in interests of marriage.

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QuintessentialShadow · 13/08/2009 12:18

I see. He is a bit of a twunt at the moment then. It is not like you would stay inside the canvas for the entire week.

Take the younger children for a few nights, enjoy it with them, and go back refreshed. Maybe a break will do you all good.

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deaddei · 13/08/2009 12:26

I would think being in a tent with a dh who doesn't want to be there would be hell- at least at home you have space, own things etc.
If you stay at home, make sure you take a back seat- let him look after dcs for a day so you get a day to do what YOU want, eat out, lots of wine etc. Good luck!!

sdr · 13/08/2009 12:28

Thanks everyone - you've cheered me up. He's come home grumpy (well with me anyway) from the park.

So will follow valuable Mumsnet advice - let them sort themselves out next week. Will go on at least a partial strike at home and leave it up to them to organise outings. If it all gets too bad, will go buy cheap tent and take boys away.

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