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To find unnecessary boasting vulgar and cringe worthy?

(53 Posts)
poshsinglemum Wed 12-Aug-09 13:49:38

It also depends on what people boast about.

I don't have so much of a problem with people boasting about their kids as they are all wonderful and I can take it with a big pinch of salt.

I have a friend, however, who is always boasting about how massive her house is. I know- I have been there lots. I don't need her to tell me. Mabe I am a bit bitter because my house is so tiny. I genuinely didn't feel bad about having a ssmaller house than her but when I spoke to her on the phone the other day she kept going on about her ''massive'' house (again)and how lucky she was.
Not only do I now feel inferior but I have decided that people who boast in order to make me feel small are indeed being vulgar.

So there!

OldLadyKnowsNothing Wed 12-Aug-09 13:56:45

Is she really boasting about having a big house, in order to make you feel small? hmm She's not just being happy/expressing gratitude at her good fortune in life?

*also lives in massive house, which is a pita to clean all year round and to heat in the winter*

poshsinglemum Wed 12-Aug-09 14:00:03

She's not trying to make me feel small I don't think. She's a love really. I'm just jealous.

I do love my little house and it has many advantages to her big house but I do wish that dd could roam around more.

moonmother Wed 12-Aug-09 14:05:10

In my experience most people who boast unnecessarily usually have some area of their life that they are unhappy with, so over-compensate by making other people feel small.

A small majority obviously boast and don't realise that the person they are boasting too feel small, in that case just take it with a pinch of salt.

halfbakedcookie Wed 12-Aug-09 14:08:20

Maybe she is making herself feel better. Maybe she feels really crap about something else in her life, but the big house is the one thing she can show off and boast about?

I know where Oldladyknowsnothing is coming from, I live in a big old house too. We are constantly cleaning it and are broke from the never ending repairs and maintinance. Also we have had no hot water for three months as we spent thousands buying oil to heat the place over winter and can't afford to fill up the oil tank again for the time being. I dream of living in a small house again.

mrsboogie Wed 12-Aug-09 14:09:55

I hate it when people boast on facebook and say things like "OHMYGOD just back from FAB hol in Tunisia next off to 5 star hotel in Sorrento in 2 months" and "thank you my darling for the diamond ring!!!"

I always think they are doing it for other people's benefit.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Wed 12-Aug-09 14:12:19

I know what you mean about the heating oil, halfbakedcookie.

*eyes 1200 litre tank, almost empty

views bank account, almost empty*

abraid Wed 12-Aug-09 14:13:02

'In my experience most people who boast unnecessarily usually have some area of their life that they are unhappy with, so over-compensate by making other people feel small. '

I agree with moonmother.

poshsinglemum Wed 12-Aug-09 14:18:44

I always say things like ''I'm just going to bed'' on facebook!

I always think that those who have truly fabulous lives don't have time to go on Facebook!

peanut08 Wed 12-Aug-09 15:19:40

I agree with moonmother too.
I have a friend like this who I'm starting to distance myself from because of the boasting. She is very materialistic and is often heard to say things along the line of "well we were going to get a cheap one like yours but blah blah"shock.
I'm not jealous, she's not better off finacially or anything it's the fact she has to boast and uses my family and the things we have to make herself feel better that annoys me. In the end our priorities in life are very different but she just doesn't get that.
I've come to the conclusion she must be insecure and is a bit of a social scrambler who probably feels she should be further on in life than she is.

letsblowthistacostand Wed 12-Aug-09 15:54:40

Maybe she envies your location? We had a teeny tiny house in London and I'd much rather be living there than in this gee-normous house in the US suburbs that we're in now. It's a pain to clean and there's nothing to do here.

junglist1 Wed 12-Aug-09 18:56:31

Yuck. I'd rather have a small house and half decent manners.

pania Wed 12-Aug-09 19:27:46

I might excuse the "massive house" boast if she'd just moved into it after been living in an uncomfortably tiny flat for years.

But otherwise, YANBU.

BigGobMum Wed 12-Aug-09 19:36:43

Do you know if the 'massive house' actually belongs to her (or the bank!!!!). YANBU

MANATEEequineOHARA Wed 12-Aug-09 19:37:55

The facebook boasts are one reason I just deactivated my account there. Really annoying.

This also reminds me of a couple I used to know at a toddler group who used to boast about everything, but I think it was because they were really stupid!

drlove8 Wed 12-Aug-09 19:40:52

i dont have a massive house - but i do have a massive wheelie bin and a massive pile of washing! can i boast about that ? grinwink

BigGobMum Wed 12-Aug-09 19:42:36

I suspect that those who feel the need to boast about this, that and the other are very insecure and probably just have more debt than everyone else.

VinegarTits Wed 12-Aug-09 19:44:06

i've got a massive overdraft, i'm not boasting but honestly, it's huuuuage grin

thedolly Wed 12-Aug-09 19:46:53

boasting is always unnecessary

sweetkitty Wed 12-Aug-09 19:53:35

drlove - a massive wheelie bin I am jealous I have to go and put our extra rubbish in the neighbours bins once they have gone to work on bin day.

I have a friend like this, she is obsessed by her conservatory probably as I don't have one and how many toys her DDs have, everytime I meet her she is telling me ll the toys in her house like I care

waitingforgodot Wed 12-Aug-09 19:53:50

Oh I find facebook boasting tedious.
Any form of boasting really. Its always really insecure people making their lives seem more interesting. Life is for living, not sitting on facebook writing about every detail

fircone Wed 12-Aug-09 19:56:08

I hate boasters and braggers.

I have an old school friend who delights me every Christmas and birthday with a letter which sends me into a depression. She sends it on her headed paper (VIP), mentions the wonderful places she's been, her troublesome 3-storey villa in smart area of London, her successful dcs, her ailing (rich) parents... I just feel she's grinding her foot on me for some reason.

What especially gets me about boasting is that people do seem to do it with a mean-spirited motive. Does it make them feel good afterwards to think that they have left someone feeling inadequate or sad?

Lizzylou Wed 12-Aug-09 20:00:55

DH has a MASSIVE Cock

But I don't like to brag.

The people who have serious money don't brag, ime, just the wannabes.

BigGobMum Wed 12-Aug-09 20:02:12

Its the three foreign holidays a year boasting that really gets on my tits.

Lizzylou Wed 12-Aug-09 20:06:24

Serously (I may have been exaggerating a smidgeon wink), my ex-Step Dad used to brag all the time. My brother and I would cringe when growing up. BUT he came from nothing and worked really hard to earn money, so had the cash but not the class.
He was exactly like that Harry Enfield "I'm considerably richer than yow", he was a brummie as well.
Taught me a valuable lesson about not boasting (for whenever I finally get something to boast about, not counting my DS's).

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