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This really isn't really aibu but more of a moan.

(70 Posts)
TheLadyEvenstar Wed 12-Aug-09 12:00:24

DS1 has a child psychologist who has been coming out for the last 3 weeks twice a week, to our home. DS1 told him one of the things he hates is being asked to do anything i.e load the dishwasher, empty the washing machine etc. This man has told him he doesn't see why he should be asked to do anything as he is a child and when he was a child his mother did everything for him. DS1 now refuses to do anything I ask him to do not even pick up a cup after himself. He has spent the entire morning screaming at me that Blake said he didn't have to help so he won't.

How the hell is this helping solve he problem?

This Blake has also told me i have to let him go to the supermarket alone, go to a friends and stay as long as he wants and come home alone whatever time he wants..along with numerous other things.

Oh and he wants to enrol me on a programme.....to stop me drinking coffee FFS

MamaG Wed 12-Aug-09 12:01:51

How old is he?

I don't like the sound of any of this "advice"

Mamazon Wed 12-Aug-09 12:02:41

oh my word. Is this guy for real?

I'd be furious.

Themilkybapsareonme Wed 12-Aug-09 12:02:47

Sack Blake shock.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Wed 12-Aug-09 12:05:23

Oh my goodness - what a nightmare! Has 'Blake' discussed with you why he is taking the approach he is? Sounds really bizarre.

bumpybecky Wed 12-Aug-09 12:05:35

does this Blake have children of his own? sorry, stupid question!

is he qualified at this psycology stuff then? sounds like complete bollocks to me

we've been having someone (trainee clinical psycologist) come to see us about dd1's behaviour. She has suggested ideas and asked how we'd feel about things (one of which is going to supermarket by herself). She's not told us to do anything. dd1 is 11 btw and has a problemn with pinching things, hence me not letting her go to the shops!

Stopping drinking coffee has yet to be mentioned. Maybe they're only allowed to takle the really dangerous stuff once they'd qualified? wink

I'd be asking to see a different psycologist as Blake clearly is a loon not right for your family.

HumphreyCobbler Wed 12-Aug-09 12:06:50

good god, that is awful.

did you hear him say all this stuff?

muffle Wed 12-Aug-09 12:06:51

Blimey where did you get this bloke from? He sounds extremely intrusive and prescriptive. It does depend a bit on how old your DS1 is, re the staying out late etc - but then if he's older he should be pulling his weight around the house too.

I do however know parents who genuinely don't think their children should have to lift a finger or learn anything about adult chores and responsibilities at all, because "childhood is for being a child". I think this is the daftest view ever and have for years been teaching my DS, who is still only 4, to pick up after himself, put stuff in the washing basket, help with hoovering etc because I think it's an essential part of life that children should learn about, just as they learn to read and write. But I have noticed several of my friends don't agree.

However "Blake" should be well aware that that is a matter of opinion and your parenting choice/house rules. YANBU at all to expect DC to do some chores.

Longtalljosie Wed 12-Aug-09 12:06:59

Yeah, second that - sack Blake. If DS is old enough for anyone to even consider sending him to a supermarket on his own, he's definitely old enough for chores.

Can't get over the coffee-drinking thing... It sounds like he's coming at this with a "what can I blame the parents for?" attitude. If the best he's come up with is you drink coffee, he's scraping the barrel...

TheLadyEvenstar Wed 12-Aug-09 12:08:00

He is 11 years old, going on 2, well with his tantrums he is.

This guy has said the problem is i have done too much for him ffs, oh and also if ds2 falls over i should leave him to cry and not go to him as he will get up when he is ready.

He has also told me i need to reward ds1 daily with money as well as £10 at the end of the month. FFS i will be skint lol

Stayingsunnygirl Wed 12-Aug-09 12:12:08

I'd be wanting to have a free and frank exchange of views with this Blake person, if I were you, TLES!! His advice sounds ridiculous and will only increase family tension.

And how on earth can coffee be a problem - are you mugging old ladies to feed your Blue Mountain Java habit or spending the family food budget on nescafe to snort?

What a pillock he sounds!

muffle Wed 12-Aug-09 12:12:28

So ask Blake, if the problem is you have done too much for him, surely having his own chores to do is a step in the right direction? Hmmm?

As for the coffee, that's just bobbins. I hardly know anyone who doesn't drink coffee - many wonderful parents drink coffee - it has diddly squat to do with anything. Twerp. I'd go to his superiors and ask if all this is really sound advice because you are a bit confused...

TheLadyEvenstar Wed 12-Aug-09 12:12:32

Becky thats an issue here he steals. When i told blake this he said "well children who steal from their parents are less likely to steal from others"

No he doesn't have children he is 60 yrs old looks like a nonce prat, and is very odd. and doesn't like the way I have an answer for everything he says. For example He thinks ds1 should come and go as i please and i said he has no road sense, his reply? Well if he gets hurt or knocked down you take him to the hospital...when i was growing up i walked to and from school daily.

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern Wed 12-Aug-09 12:13:36

Ooookaayy so you have done TOO MUCH for ds yet he shouldn't be expected to do anything as he is a child hmm yep makes sense.

Did you hear him saying these things? If yes complain and sack him.

TheLadyEvenstar Wed 12-Aug-09 12:14:03

Staying purleaseeeeee Kenco really smooth only here!!! I am far to addicted posh to drink anything else.

Sidge Wed 12-Aug-09 12:16:00

Tell Blake he is a pillock and ask for someone else.

Someone who actually knows about child psychology and behavioural management.

MamaLazarou Wed 12-Aug-09 12:16:23

Is Blake's doctorate certificate written in crayon on the back of a cereal packet?

TheLadyEvenstar Wed 12-Aug-09 12:16:24

Ineed, i heard as I was in the living room as well. Originally we were meant to go to the hospital but ds1 refused to go and so i made him phone and tell him he wasn't going. and that is apparently another thing i did wrong making him tell blake rather than doing so myself....

thats why he comes here. He is due at 2.30 but then again so are my mum and sister who have had enough of me calling them in a state because ds1 has kicked off screaming etc and scaring ds2.

Firawla Wed 12-Aug-09 12:16:55

i would stop your son going to this "psychologist" if i was you, he sounds deranged. doesn't seem to be benefitting either him or your family?

GibbonInARibbon Wed 12-Aug-09 12:17:21

Blake is a loon.

I am more amazed tbh that there is a programme for stopping coffee?

If it were me I would back away form the Blake. He sounds more than a leeeeetle loony.

Longtalljosie Wed 12-Aug-09 12:17:28

All of this "when I was young this happened" - well, so what?

And the stealing argument is just ridiculous.

Who referred you and can you ask for a different child psychologist?

TheLadyEvenstar Wed 12-Aug-09 12:17:56

I am sitting here in tears because he has not stopped for 3 hours now. I managed to calm down enough to film his behaviour because when wanker blake is here he plays the victim. Hence the reason it is all down to me now see.

TheLadyEvenstar Wed 12-Aug-09 12:19:31

Gibbon well apparently my coffee drinking is excessive...ok i can and have drunk 15 cups in a day but then i have to keep going with a child who will not sleep before midnight most nights and screams constantly if i put him in his room.

GibbonInARibbon Wed 12-Aug-09 12:21:02

I can imagine it's all terribly upsetting sad

Focus on changing the loon professional to someone who will work with the family.

GibbonInARibbon Wed 12-Aug-09 12:22:52

I am a coffee fiend so I relate smile

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