To NOT get ex FIL a birthday card from the DD's ??

[macdoodle]

Many threads previously about abusive controlling XH!
I have previously got on very well with PIL's but since I got a new DP (XH and I have been seperated THREE!!! years) and he moved back to OW, I am personal non grata, apprantly I have changed yada yada!
Anyway they wont even talk to me anymore not even about the DD's!

Tomorrow is ex FIL 70th birthday - yesterday XH had the girls, and they all went out for a big bithday lunch (XH and GF/OW, my 2 DD's, the DD they had together while still married to me, XH brother and his new GF (who he left his disabled wife for), her sons and brothers DD's, and ex PIL's of course)!
All fine didnt have any desire to go AT ALL, as long as my girls are happy so am I, I had a lovely child free day with an old friend!

SO far so good, except this morning XH arrives to get DD1 (on a background of a load of abuse and messing me around last week, and FIL shouting abuse at me as well) - and he asks me nice as pie if I have got ex FIL a card from the girls - I politely say that considering the circumstances and how ex FIL spoke to me last week then I thought perhaps it was his responsibility!

He looked at me like I was mad and said what about the way i spoke to ex FIL, umm I didnt other than to tell him not to speak to me like that!

IANBU am I please say so, XH has an uncanny kack of making me feel like I am even when I know I'm not!!

[JodieO]

Regardless of any issues surely he should be sorting the card out for his father and not you? I'm sure he's capable of buying a card himself

[Malkuth]

YANBU he's still being a controlling twat. Ex-FIl is exactly that- ex! Wanker of an ex had the kids, he could have bought a card. He is a tosser of the highest order (can you tell I have read some of your other threads?)

[macdoodle]

Ah well he never had EVER in the 10 years we were together!
But I had stopped doing it didnt do Xmas, MIL birthday etc, only ones I did were for XH nieces - because I like them, they are only children, not their fault and they are my DD's cousins and they are all quite close!

[proverbial]

What a moron. Of course you didn't get a bloody card..tell him thats what wives do and to get his new woman to do his donkey work. Tool.

[TEJQ]

HIS father, not yours, thus HIS responsibility to buy card/gift from HIS daughters to HIS father.

Simples!