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to tell my friend her ds is too old for a pushchair

(113 Posts)
pinkington Sun 09-Aug-09 18:50:00

My freind takes her ds out in a pushchair where ever they go - including to school. The child is 6 in October and heading into year 1 - they live about 10 minutes walk from school and he can barely fit in it. I told her I thought she should reconsider using a pushchair as I thought the kids might tease him, she is highly offended AIBU?

franklymydear Sun 09-Aug-09 18:52:07

does he have mobility problems?

if not then yes she needed telling, poor kid

nancy75 Sun 09-Aug-09 18:53:15

i am suprised the kids dont tease him already.

Tidey Sun 09-Aug-09 18:53:16

So he has no SN? Is this because children can sometimes walk extremely slowly and it's easier for her to push him to get anywhere? Is the child himself asking to go in it still? Is he generally lazy about any physical activity?

I would think a nearly six yo would be embarassed himself by now and not want to go in it, but then, I don't know the background.

juuule Sun 09-Aug-09 18:54:55

I'm surprised she can get him to go in it.

Don't they walk to school and back with his friends now?

slowreadingprogress Sun 09-Aug-09 18:56:26

ahe is probably offended that you would think she was so silly as to do this if it meant her boy was being teased, and continue to do it regardless

I think if it was a problem for anyone they would have stopped it.

Not your place to say anything because all you can say is bound to be a criticism of her parenting.

pinkington Sun 09-Aug-09 18:58:03

Definitely no SN and he is happy to go in it, I think he plays up about walking and it is easier for her to use the pushchair, and he plays up after school, has been known to run into the road etc and she is just desperate to get him home - some of the kids have made comments but not teasing yet but it is only a matter of time surely! He isn't lazy about all physical activity - runs round at the park for hours etc but then gets in the pushchair to go home!

juuule Sun 09-Aug-09 19:00:42

They are happy with it. They are not hurting anyone. Not really any of your business.

lljkk Sun 09-Aug-09 19:00:49

My gut response was: YABU, Mind your own business.

But I guess it depends HOW you said it. If it was as mild as suggested in OP then she shouldn't get offended about it, she must know that other people disapprove.

Thankfully, I could still stuff DS(nearly 10) into a pushchair, if needed. I'm afraid that I should or else someone might blast me for leaving him at home alone when he's ill but I still have to get the others to school.

Paolosgirl Sun 09-Aug-09 19:02:01

Keep it zipped! (In the nicest possible way, of course grin). Yes, it's odd that a 6 year old would want to be seen in a pushchair, but let your friend and her DS decide when he comes out, and don't let something so trivial come between you.

slowreadingprogress Sun 09-Aug-09 19:03:40

did you really think then that as his mother she wouldn't even have thought that other kids might tease him??!! That's my point about why it's impossible to say anything without giving offence.

to be honest the reasons she uses it sound very sensible to me - playing up about walking/running into the road; she's dealing with a problem in a pragmatic practical way.

slowreadingprogress Sun 09-Aug-09 19:05:14

and he's only actually 5.

I read it as 6 because you said 6 in Oct

He's not 6 yet. I mean yes, 5 is very elderly to be in a pushchair but it's not unheard of!

screamingabdab Sun 09-Aug-09 19:06:56

I would think this was odd, but I'd also keep it to myself.

My guess is that it's easier for her than finding a strategy for stopping him from running off, which is a shame, but my guess would be that it won't continue much longer

Dawnybabe Sun 09-Aug-09 19:07:48

YANBU. The words 'rod' and 'own back' spring to mind.

juuule Sun 09-Aug-09 19:07:59

Sounds a good strategy for him not running off.

juuule Sun 09-Aug-09 19:08:48

Why Dawnybabe?

Ripeberry Sun 09-Aug-09 19:11:55

Makes you wonder if she would get a new pushchair if this one broke!
Most umbrella pushchairs specify up to the age of 3yrs.
Does he use a scooter? Suggest it to him, he would then be able to carry himself to school.

juuule Sun 09-Aug-09 19:14:48

He could run/scoot into the road even quicker then, ripeberry. hmm

sarah293 Sun 09-Aug-09 19:14:48

Message withdrawn

Heated Sun 09-Aug-09 19:16:40

There is a mum who collects from our school gate, puts (non sn) child in pushchair & stuffs dummy in to go home - I think that's a bit weird tbh.

There surely must come a stage though with your friend's child where peer pressure comes in to play? YANBU to think it's strange but probably best to button the lip since she is touchy about this.

Goblinchild Sun 09-Aug-09 19:17:18

If she's going to parent in a way that differs from the accepted 'norm' then she'll have to develop a thicker skin. I did.
Otherwise you spend too much energy and brainpower worrying about other people's opinions. So I think she should do as she chooses, for whatever her reasons. If your child isn't a runner, then you don't have an empathy with those parents who live in fear of the consequences.
As an aside, my son wasn't dx with AS until 9, but he was a bugger for running. I used reins then a wrist strap and taught him to walk to heel. Other parents saw that as oppressive and abusive. I saw him living to be 6.

Narketta Sun 09-Aug-09 19:18:10

I know someone who does this too and although I think it's weird I wouldn't dream of saying anything to her because it's none of my business.

AitchTwoOh Sun 09-Aug-09 19:21:50

but if the child can run about, and does run about, and there's no concern about his health, then what does it matter if she finds it more convenient to push him home? it's ten mins out of their day when he's sitting down, not such a bad thing if it decreases her stress, surely?

onepieceoflollipop Sun 09-Aug-09 19:26:56

I used to worry about things like this, now I kind of think each to their own.

My very own dd1 will be 6 in January and still sucks her fingers (like sucking her thumb). Yes I know I am a bad mother for this. grin I also know that I should be thinking about potty training dd2.

We all have our "little ways". I'm tending to agree with Aitch and Narketta. It's really not hurting you, op. It's not abusive to the child (imo) He is getting plenty of exercise.

chegirl Sun 09-Aug-09 19:48:53

Sorry but YABU. It must be a bit annoying but its not your business.
Try and ignore it and dont let it worry you.
I doubt he will be in the buggy this time next year.

TBH I wouldve kept DS1 in a buggy until he was 10 if I couldve. He was a runner with NO sense of danger. It was impossible to teach him road safety or stranger danger.

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