Advanced search

to think my Mother is being unecessarily cow like?!

(15 Posts)
ThePregnantPhantomPlopper Sun 09-Aug-09 14:59:38

I'm ranting here before I rant at her.

Unexpectedly pregnant, I rang my Mum in tears of shock, expecting a "it will be OK, don't panic" pep talk and instead got "Oh FGS, you'll never cope when DH goes away and I've got enough to cope with and don't think for one minute we'll be buying a space wagon just for the Grandchildren" (we have our own car anyway) then she went back to 'normal' and started talking about her weekend break.

Saw her yesterday and she spent all afternoon being a cow, ignored the pregnancy until she said "how could you do this to them two, did you not think how another baby would effect them?" shock I ignored her, but whenever I asked a baby question or mentioned it she said "I don't know, I didn't have 3 children" EVERY time I spoke.

I'm a bloody grown woman, married and don't really rely on her for anything major, would it kill her to say something supportive to her panicking daughter? I know it's my problem but she's really pissing me off and I need to get if off my chest.

differentID Sun 09-Aug-09 15:01:39

she sounds like she's jealous. that she wanted more children but your dad said no/ something else happened.

mamas12 Sun 09-Aug-09 15:06:28

aW sounds a little like a shock reation to me. You were in tears with shcok, perhaps that was her reation?

shavenhaven Sun 09-Aug-09 15:10:52

there is no excuse for this at all, she was being a cow.

my mum was exactly the same when i fell pregnant with dc2 when dd1 was 8mo, she was a total bitch about it and when i miscarried at 9 weeks i felt i could relay on her for any support at all.

Mumcentreplus Sun 09-Aug-09 15:11:26


PinkTulips Sun 09-Aug-09 15:22:43

this is why i don't tell my mother i'm pregnant til about 20 weeks, i need to have all the scans and worry over and done with before dealing with her negativity!

sorry she's being awful... at least you have MN for 'Don't panic' pp talks grin

good luck with the preg

ThePregnantPhantomPlopper Sun 09-Aug-09 15:42:26

Thanks all.

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage shavenheaven.

Wish I hadn't told her at all, bloody miserable woman has made me feel like crap.

sweetkitty Sun 09-Aug-09 15:49:15

Mine was the exact same when I announced I was pregnant with DB2 when DD1 was 9 months, how are you going to cope etc etc? When DB2 was a DD2 she said "well you could go for another one and try and get a boy" she has shown very little interestin her, when I got pregnant with DB3 she was horrified and told me no one has large families these days, I miscarried DB3 she said it was for the best as 3DC would have been expensive, next month I was pregnant with DD3, told her once I had had a scan at 8 weeks and knew all was well, she didn't congratulate me or anything, paid v little attention to DD3.

So I so know how you feel, I said to her "we are delighted about DB3 and if you are not we don't want to hear about it"

All my Mum has done is have 2DC she thinks she knows everyone about children as she has had 2, now I have 3 in her eyes I have bettered her as a mother so now she doesn't talk to me which is fine by me.

Ignore her and concentrate on your family and new baby.

TheIroningLady Sun 09-Aug-09 16:01:30

YANBU. My mother told me that if I had another baby, (I have 2 DC's), that she would have to emigrate shock

Thanks for that Mum.

shavenhaven Sun 09-Aug-09 16:05:15

this was 6 years ago phantom, i have since went on to have another lovley dd2 (who is now 5)

she still does my bloody head in though, i have to go and stay at her house tonight which i am not looking forward to, love her to bits but my god does she drive me insane.

suwoo Sun 09-Aug-09 16:17:08

Quick post as I'm bf no 3 grin. My mum was just like this, think it was the shock.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sun 09-Aug-09 16:23:18

YANBU - what a cow! Whatever her feelings might be she should be keeping them to herself at this stage and supporting you. I would tell her she's upset you, best to get it out in the open rather than fester!

<hijack> - suwoo you are BFing How is it going? I know you were worried about it, I remember answering several of your posts a couple of months ago! <hijack over>

mosschops30 Sun 09-Aug-09 16:27:03

congrats on the pregnancy (and you will be fine smile

she sounds like my (evil) mother, its all about her!
I phoned her this morning and said I though I might have swine flu (asthmatic and 26 wks pg) she replied - I hope youre better by thrusday to take me to the airport!!!!

Just ignore, I do, or have a good laugh at how self absorbed they are grin

AmazingBouncingFerret Sun 09-Aug-09 16:33:53

Congratulations. Hopefully it was just shock at you being in tears and she'll "come round to it"

Silver1 Sun 09-Aug-09 16:53:22

I'll say it for her- being shell shocked and worried is normal- it will be okay even when your husband is away grin

YANBU to want to shout at her- but don't, she'll blame the hormones and not listen to what you have to say.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now