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to turn down a free weekend away as it's a 5 hour drive away

(18 Posts)
zubin Sun 09-Aug-09 13:03:35

PILs have offered to pay for a weekend (or maybe 4 days) away for us all to celebrate FILs birthday - they have chosen where they want us all to go but it is atleast a 5 hour drive away from where we live (2.5 - 3 hours for them). DH doesn't drive so the driving would be down to me, I have said to DH I would love to go but can we choose somewhere a bit closer (up to about 3 hours drive), I know it is a very very kind offer and don't want to seem ungrateful but the thought of a 5 hour car journey fills me full of dread - AIBU to stick to my guns and insist on choosing somewhere closer?

drinkyourmilk Sun 09-Aug-09 13:07:08

5 hours isn't so bad. Plan to stop every 1 1/2 hours for a 10 min run round kids. Take story/music tapes/cds in the car. Treat it as a holiday from the min you leave home. I think it's a great opportunity and
too good to miss.

Alternatively - can you take a train? Often quicker and much more fun.

Or - spend the day getting there, stopping off in a little town for a picnic and play in the park.

drinkyourmilk Sun 09-Aug-09 13:10:46

Also (this is whispered as i can see this is really upsetting you and you have your own reasons for that) It is a little unreasonable to expect your fil to change his birthday plans - his birthday his choice. They are making it as stressfree as possible for you by meeting costs of break.

I hope you go, and have a fab time. xxx

bubblagirl Sun 09-Aug-09 13:11:43

we do 6 hrs drive but stopping every 2 hrs for coffee and wee works well and doesn't seem as long at all and is always nice break away once there go and enjoy it and my ds is fab on the journey we do take books drawing pack that hangs off seat like a table and also portable dvd player as last resort for peace

esselle Sun 09-Aug-09 13:12:09

My parents live about a 6 hr drive away and I find it very doable. Have done the trip a couple of times with my DC even just for a weekend.

The key I have found is in car DVD players, having a couple of stops and a thermos flask of tea!!grin

We tend to leave straight after breakfast, stop for morning tea at a playground. Stop again for lunch - somewhere with a playground like McDonalds. Another afternoon break and then you should be there.

I must say though that I absolutely love to drive so actually enjoy the trip.

mrsdisorganised Sun 09-Aug-09 13:18:34

I would go armed with story cd's, books and snacks. 5 hours isn't really a long time, our nearest town is nearly 2 hours away!

We drove to Devon (13 hours from us) and only stopped a couple of time for diesel and toilet, first long journey for our dd's (8, 7 5 and 20 months) I was dreading it, but they were brilliant and the journey was fine.

Go you will have a nice time and might be pleasently surprised! smile

zubin Sun 09-Aug-09 13:23:18

Pretty much exactly what my dh has said! He says it will be a fun road trip lol - and actually you are right I am bu to expect FIL to change his birthday plans as I am a wimpy driver! The train journey is nearly 9 hours so I guess car it is

trefusis Sun 09-Aug-09 13:25:08

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trefusis Sun 09-Aug-09 13:26:41

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TwoHot Sun 09-Aug-09 13:26:58

What we do is start really early and plan to stop for a couple of hours half way somewhere really good, a castle or zoo or something. 2 and a half hours sounds a lot more reasonable

Meglet Sun 09-Aug-09 13:29:08

If you have to do all the driving can you do a deal with your dh so that you get all the lie-ins while you are away grin?

trefusis Sun 09-Aug-09 13:35:23

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Sidge Sun 09-Aug-09 13:52:47

We've just driven 4.5 hours to stay with my ILs so 5 hours wouldn't bother me to be honest.

We travel in the evening, so we have an earlier dinner, bath the kids then put them in the car in their PJs with a few books and the portable DVD player. They nod off quite quickly so we can crack on and not have to stop unless we need a wee. We arrive quite late (ie last night we got here at 2330) but slide them into bed and then we are all set in the morning, and feel like we haven't "lost" a day travelling.

Obviously that might not be possible if you are going to a hotel!

proverbial Sun 09-Aug-09 13:58:29

3 hours, 5 hours, not much difference once you are actually in the car and driving. We have done 5 and many more with the kids loads of times, not too hard.
I think YABU for expecting them to change their plans when they are offering you a free weekend.

zubin Sun 09-Aug-09 14:04:52

Pretty unanimous I am BU!! Thanks for all the practical tips - rather embarrassed to admit I only have the 1 DC so haven't got the excuse of a few of them! I am just a nervous driver I suppose. Def going to plan the trip with stops etc and trying to think of it in terms of 2 2.5 hour drives rather than 1 5 hour if that makes sense. I am just being a complete wimp and really should just be grateful for a free holiday and PILs who want to do this for us.

EachPeachPearMum Sun 09-Aug-09 14:20:48

No... YANBU- think I'm going against the crowd here...

My DH doesn't drive yet either (hasn't passed) so I would have to do all the driving too...
5 hours is too long to keep my children in the car for- but they are still very young, and the toddler hates being in the car as she is too old to sleep, but too small to reach much and drops her toys all the time, then howls. The baby would be bored when he was awake, staring at the back seat poor thing! Plus they always want Mama's attention, which makes things difficult if I have to drive for 5 hours...

Plus- it isn't really a free trip is it? You'd have to pay petrol costs or train fares so hardly negligible, probably a tank and a half all together. You'd probably be eating out as no-one wants to cook when they're on 'holiday' so that adds up too- and no doubt you'd be offering to pay for PIL as it is FIL's birthday. Also, it's hardly a holiday when you have a toddler and an infant... so personally, I wouldn't be up for going.

I don't know what your PIL are like, but it sounds like they wanted to go somewhere, and could only find a largish house, so invited you along too as they were already paying for it. If they had planned it from the start, surely they'd have picked somewhere between the two of you, around halfway?

It wouldn't be a fun road trip for us, that's for sure!
[curmudgeon emoticon]

CarGirl Sun 09-Aug-09 14:25:13

Hmmm as the sole family drive I wouldn't be keen either because I find it exhausting. I'd do it for 4 days but not for 1 night and not if I had to drive on a Friday evening...........

Living on the M25 everything is gridlocked from about 3.30pm onwards every Friday.....

esselle Sun 09-Aug-09 15:30:08

Just re read your OP... Could you drive to your IL the day before, stay the night, then follow them the next day for the 2.5-3hr trip to the destination? This is only if your IL live on the way to where you are going. Two short trips instead of one long day maybe...

But as someone else mentioned, think of your holiday starting when you leave home and not when you arrive at your holiday location.

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