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to not clean/tidy up before a playdate

(14 Posts)
pootle09 Wed 05-Aug-09 13:51:19

I had a friend with her children over this morning for a few hours which was lovely because the children can play with each other whilst we have tea and catch up. We also had lunch.

Now they've gone I realise the house is a bombsite. Before they came I had cleaned and tidied everything away, and now I have to do it all again - toys all over, mess on the floor from lunch and also sand because the children wanted to go outside too where we have a sandpit. Downstairs is an open plan kitchen, living room, dining room and there's no playroom so all my son's toys are in the living room and there's no real way of containing the explosion.

I expect the mess but I wonder if I'm being unreasonable by cleaning and tidying before they come over. The house was a 'bit of a state' before they came which is why I tidied, but now it's a 'bit of state' again so maybe I shouldn't bother beforehand.

So, would I be being unreasonable to be a skanky beyatch and not tidy up before people come over?

caykon Wed 05-Aug-09 14:00:16

I hoover and wash up if there are any dirty dishes but thats it. But I only do that cus its not appealing to make lunch if there are dirty dishes and the dc's will be plaing on the floor. I leave any toys and stuff that is around thats just life in my house. I am also open plan like you so I think it always feels worse than it is

barnsleybelle Wed 05-Aug-09 14:12:27

I'm not remotely houseproud. It's not dirty but often very messy.
My friends take me as they find me so no, i don't tidy up when they are coming. Just in the same way that i wouldn't be bothered if my friends didn't tidy up for me! Real friends arn't bothered and if they do care then balls to them. grin

Silver1 Wed 05-Aug-09 14:14:39

Not unreasonable not to tidy (obviously being clean is different) before a play date if you are only going to duplicate the work.
If your friend is the sort of person who minds think how smug much better she will feel about herself.

deaddei Wed 05-Aug-09 14:20:58

I used to be very anal about the state of my house- not anymore. It is usually tidy, which creates the illusion of being organised and clean, and I find tossing bleach down the loos and sweeping the kitchen floor (nb not washing it) makes my husband think I'm hard at it with the apron on while he's at work.
Ha- if only he knew.
I once asked a friend (who is a bit of a slattern and would be the first to agree) when she had last dusted her lampshade.....that was when I realised I had to chill out a bit more!

cat64 Wed 05-Aug-09 14:29:22

Message withdrawn

onthepier Wed 05-Aug-09 16:00:19

I generally clear up before playdates, but that's not for the children's benefit, it's the adult's! Often, if somebody drops their child off here to play with mine, they tend to come in for a chat, (that involves the living room, my children's bedrooms to say goodbye to them and normally pop to the loo before they leave)!

There are two parents in particular, who pick their children up later, bring their younger siblings in to play and also stop for coffee and chat! This means not only am I concerned about how the place looks before hand, I find myself tidying up while the children are here for later on!hmm

My dh thinks I'm mad and I find doing this a pain too, but my friends in general are very houseproud and I just KNOW they notice things! I'm fairly tidy but my dh and children aren't, so I seem to spend a lot of time --clearing up--, hiding their mess!

Fairynufff Wed 05-Aug-09 17:23:19

It once took me three hours to tidy up after my DS and his friend emptied every single draw in his room to build a 'bridge' between two beds. Me and his mother had sat chatting thinking they were playing nicely because they were so quiet! I could've cried when I realised...

I think what you've described is normal when you invite kids + mum over for a day - you are going to have to do some amount of tidying after they've gone either way...

deaddei Wed 05-Aug-09 17:25:29

The worst thing my ds and friend did when they were 5 was mix up 6 thomas the tank engine jigsaws up on the playroom floor.....that was in my anal phase when I had to check every jigsaw for missing pieces each evening.....

ChasingSquirrels Wed 05-Aug-09 17:26:21

how old are the children? My ds1 (6y) has known for a couple of years that he has to tidy up after himself, and that if his friends have trashed the place then that his his responsibility.
I give warning when it is getting near time for them to go - and they ALL tidy up.

pootle09 Wed 05-Aug-09 17:33:12

My son is just over 2 and it really takes much longer to get him to tidy up than for me to do it myself. I did it today when he was sleeping (which he did as soon as they left).

So, I think we're talking the bare minimum of pre-playdate tidying then aren't we? Quick hoover if necessary, clear away dirty dishes and anything else which means no one contracts e-coli whilst here.

I must admit, I'm more conscious of it when the parents are here - if it was just the kids then I wouldn't think twice about it because they probably won't notice my slatternly ways.

I have one lovely lovely friend who always insists on tidying up before she leaves when she comes over, including getting the hoover out after we've eaten and stacking the dishwasher.

ChasingSquirrels Wed 05-Aug-09 17:39:26

ah, well, 2, fair enough!
I have always tried to impose a "put away before you get something else out" rule, but sometimes it is just easier to let them trash the place while you chat with friends!

cat64 Wed 05-Aug-09 17:43:37

Message withdrawn

pootle09 Wed 05-Aug-09 21:22:13

Yep, she's a very welcome guest in my house!

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