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AIBU?

To think people should actually supervise their children?

31 replies

PuppyLoves · 05/08/2009 09:09

Went to a farm with almost 2yr old dd and it was full of parents, mostly mums, sat around yakking away, no interest in what their child was doing and no supervision either.

My dd was smacked in the face twice by a boy the same age as her. Now I know children of that age do smack when they get frustrated (he wanted the coupe car she was in) so I'm not criticising his behavior but his parents were no where to be seen so I had to tell him to stop as it wasn't nice.

Then there were two twin girls aged about 7 running wild in the under fives play area whilst their mum sat next to the play area and ignored them. When one of them bashed into dd and knocked her over I told her she shouldnt be in there and they both left.

But why don't parents think its their job to look after their children? AIBU to think they should stop bloody socialising and try parenting?

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PuppyLoves · 05/08/2009 09:27

Guess I am being Totally reasonable then!

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reikizen · 05/08/2009 09:31

No, I agree. I sometimes feel like a mad disciplinarian compared to the laid back attitude of some parents (some of them friends). I think some people are embarrassed about telling their kids off in public in case they look like a fishwife. I don't mind! I am a fishwife. But I would hate to go home and have people saying 'Oh god, those kids are out of control etc' like I do!

SoupDragon · 05/08/2009 09:34

I go to the local children's farm specifically to ignore my children whilst they run wild round the huge adventure playground and I sit on a blanket with a book.

Mine are well behaved though (well, they don't hit anyway).

alardi · 05/08/2009 09:40

YANBU, but I have to squeak a little about how it's hard to socialise children into being civilised without practise with other children. And moans like OPs almost make me think I shouldn't even try .

So what I mean is, I went to a Playbarn yesterday with 1yo and 5yo; the 5yo was over-excited and got rough (he annoyed LOs and once startled a child who subsequently played with him happily). I was on top of DS a lot but I couldn't supervise him or prevent him from being rough 100% of the time because of looking after the 1yo, too. I fretted that some people would decide he was a complete thug; but I can't teach him not to be a thug around other children if he's not around other children, so it's like a Catch-22 situtation.

pagwatch · 05/08/2009 09:41

The ones I especially enjoy are those (few) who won't act when their child is being aggressive and then get all 'who do you think you are - leave my child alone' if you ask their child to stop beating their fist against your childs face.

And then we wonder how a group of teenagers grew up to believe that it is so outrageous for a parent to ask them to behave that they follow her and throw bleach over her.

PuppyLoves · 05/08/2009 09:41

Well I'm guessing that all the parents that are ignoring their children would say their children were well behaved.

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PuppyLoves · 05/08/2009 09:43

You cant teach him not to be a thug if you are not supervising him either.

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SoupDragon · 05/08/2009 10:48

[shrug]

I know my children. They aren't violent (other than towards their siblings and close friends )

sandyballs · 05/08/2009 10:52

I agree parents should intervene when their kids are being rough, but other than surely these places are for children to 'run wild' to a certain extent and let off steam - not at the expense of others though of course.

Also, how sure are you that those twins weren't under 5? My twin girls have always been very tall for their age and I used to get lots of comments when we were in 'under 5' areas or similar and I had to keep explaining - they are only 4 FFS!!

Mumcentreplus · 05/08/2009 10:53

I always watch what my rat-bags are doing..and they don't hit (well only each other )..but if I see something brewing I will intervene if appropriate

notsoteenagemum · 05/08/2009 11:06

I agree with sandyballs, both my dc are big for their age and I have resorted to carrying ds's passport with me because he has been refused entry to places and told to leave 'little' kids areas.
It isn't nice when your child is really hurt but smacking and snatching is very common for that age group.
Also please don't think all bigger children running around are wild most of them are just so wrapped up in having fun they really are not aware of toddlers, it can be hard to see when you only have little ones.

prettyfly1 · 05/08/2009 11:08

I had this at a farm once- this horrid child followed my son around throwing sand in his face and being a pest for twenty minutes which his parents ignored but when my son finally retaliated because this child hurt his best friend who is a little girl the parents yelled at him (and i do mean yelled) and at me. I cant stand that type of parent- I had already told my son off.

PuppyLoves · 05/08/2009 12:57

I know they were seven because the girl who I told off for being in there called her sister out by shouting to her sister we're not allowed in here 'cos we're seven. I could also tell by her strength and speech that she wasnt under five.

Big children can run around all they want, as long they have proper supervision and are not allowed in the toddler area. Its not like I took my dd into the big park and then moaned about the big children playing in there is it?

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eastendmummy · 05/08/2009 13:17

My son was bitten by a little boy in a soft play centre last week. The Gran just sat there drinking coffee, and when I went up to her and showed her the bite mark on my son's arm (could count that the kid had 14 teeth!) she just said, "Oh no, not again, he's always doing that." Not a sorry in sight. If he's always bloody doing it, then don't sit around drinking coffee and let him run around on his own unsupervised. I just don't get it.

PuppyLoves · 05/08/2009 20:00

How awful for your little boy eastendmummy. I'm not sure I would have been able to stop myself from saying something to the gran about supervison. Not that it would ahve done any good I shouldnt imagine

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katiestar · 05/08/2009 20:55

the trouble with bites is that they usually happen too fast to prevent it.
WRT the OP maybe their parent had another , younger child to supervise ? How long was your DD in the car that the other little boy slapped her on 2 occasions ? maybe it was time to let someone else have a go ?

Overmydeadbody · 05/08/2009 21:04

Some children are horrible little thugs, but their parents are very unlikely to be using MN.

I'd judt avoid places frequented by these types.

My 6yr old DS prefers to play in toddler areas, so I let him.He's not going to do anything horrible to other children, I know him and he wouldn't.

gingerbunny · 05/08/2009 21:23

it drives me mad, people who go out for the day and think because they've taken their children out that they don't have to do anything else with them and they can just let them get on with it.
YANBU

Baconsarnie · 05/08/2009 21:45

"maybe it was time to let someone else have a go?"
And the way to get a go in the car is to slap another child twice in the face is it?

simplesusan · 05/08/2009 22:23

My dd was biten 3 times in a soft play area by the same boy. We were at a party and the boy in question was at the same party and in the same reception class as my dd. I didn't see it happen as it was behind other equipment in the ballpool area.My dd said he did it because he wanted the toy she had.
I told his mum who responded by biting the child!!!!!!!!!!!
I also told the teacher when they went to school and said that on no account was he (the biter) to go anywhere near my child, she agreed with me.
I felt physically sick tbh and the mother of the party girl was extremley annoyed too and said it had made her feel terrible too.

MissSunny · 05/08/2009 22:32

Message withdrawn

PuppyLoves · 06/08/2009 15:37

atiestar - There were at least 5 other empty cars all exactly the same. He just wanted that particular car.

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Mumcentreplus · 06/08/2009 15:55

No matter how long she was in the car slapping is unacceptable!

Fairynufff · 06/08/2009 17:17

YANBU - my friend has two horrors and she'll go all weepy eyed if one of them has been in trouble "but they're only having a bit of fun". In her mind they are innocent little babies who don't really know what they're doing and they just bumble into punching and kicking other kids! I even have a low tolerance for little toddlers who throw sand, snatch toys and hurt other children. I still think parents could intervene earlier, and discipline in proportion. But I think unfortunately it is a whole new generation of mothers who indulge their 'babies' and even the mums I know who had good parenting do it. I just don't get it. Any teacher will tell you that they can enter a class and know instantly which kids have good discipline at home...

MorrisZapp · 06/08/2009 17:25

Agree a million percent. Wtf is up with parents who think they can abandon their kids to other adults as soon as there are other adults there.

I love my sister dearly but she does this all the time. She lets her kid run wild and annoy everybody but is enjoying her latte and texting session far too much to do anything more than look up and say 'don't do that' and then get back to ignoring her.

Your kids are your own problem 24 hours of the day, in public, at home, wherever. Yours, nobody elses.

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