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to genuinely believe that manners cost nothing

(17 Posts)
ElieRM Tue 04-Aug-09 22:28:05

Just feel throughly fed up of how rude people are. Will always,always stop and pull the buggy to one side to allow people past before us, did this on 5/6 occasions today and was only thanked once.
Also, live in a city with a large racecourse, on race days dread going into town. People walk four abreast, and are not prepared to step aside to let anyone else past.
But the thing that gets me most is how some people seem to think it's completely acceptable to take out frustrations on any 'customer relations' employee, or to simply treat them as though they don't exist.Was in Argos today waiting for MIL's gift to arrive at the collection counter. It took a good 15 minutes to arrive, but the lady behind the counter was extremely apologetic, very polite and chased it up for us without being asked. Whilst we were waiting,serveral other people collected their goods. Most of them didn't thank her, no one smiled and everyone ignored her attempts to make conversation. The shop was very busy and obviously badly run, and several people were snappy and borderline aggressive, demanding to know where their goods were etc.
I understand we're all busy, and waiting can me a mare (DD was due a feed at the time) but it's not the fault of the person behind thr counter. See this kind of thing every day and felt like crying for the poor Argos lady...

claricebeansmum Wed 05-Aug-09 13:18:06

I know.

Manners cost nothing, like a smile and a little goes a long way.

Are you in Chester btw?

famishedass Wed 05-Aug-09 13:30:43

I agree, manners cost nothing and it's our poor retail staff in this country who bear the brunt of peoples rude, agressive and sarcastic behaviour. And all for £6 an hour.

OhBling Wed 05-Aug-09 13:39:31

I don't know - it goes both ways. I agree that customers can often be unnecessarily rude and impatient, but I am tired of getting to the check out and greeting the cashier politely to be largely ignored, or standing in a shop waiting to pay or ask a question but waiting endlessly while the shop assistant carries on a non work related chat with a colleague.

Or my personal favourite - I always greet bus drivers. Always. Every single time. I get a response back perhaps one in ten times.

thegrowlygus Wed 05-Aug-09 13:42:41

Manners really do bother me. I always say thank you if someone moves to the side for me or holds a door or whatever. If I do the same for someone and they say nothing, I now say politely and in a slightly cheery tone "you're welcome!" and I have had a few looks. I am waiting for someone to say "pardon?" so I can say "I said you're welcome! I thought you thanked me for holding the door?!"

Don't know where I read about doing that - don't think it was on here...!

NormaSknockers Wed 05-Aug-09 15:39:36

Totally agree, I absolutely hate bad manners, as you say they cost nothing!

thegrowlygus That's exactly what I do when people don't say thank you when letting them pass/holding door open etc (have mentioned doing that on here before lol) I say it very loudly & look right at them as I say it wink

OnlyWantsOne Wed 05-Aug-09 15:43:57

I completely agree with you YANBU

My DD, if asked how much manners cost says "uh.... nuffink mummy"

It is a real shame that people can be utterly impolite. It was like this in a restraunt I went to with DP last week, the waitress was really busy - not her fault, a bus load of pensioners turned up ad hoc on the way back from some where and all wanted bar snacky type stuff, plus the people in the bar eating food - and some of the things I heard the people saying and shouting at her hmm completely undermined her confidence.

I told her to politely tell them to jog off... she laughed

CillySunt Wed 05-Aug-09 15:56:07


It doesnt hurt to smile and say thank you. I always say, 'you're welcome' If I am not thanked. A couple of people have turned round and said 'what for?'

nickelbabe Wed 05-Aug-09 17:28:32

It really is annoying when people are rude: and yes, i do mean rude by not using their manners.
it's horrible when the cashier/assistant gets berated just for being there.
it's awful when someone does something nice for someone and doesn't get thanked.
if everyone said please an thank you, i'm sure we'd all be in much better moods when out.
(i try to smile at people walking past me in the street too: it's nice when they smile back and you know they wouldn't have smiled otherwise)

Terpsichore Wed 05-Aug-09 17:44:51

I always try to make an effort to help women stuggling up and down stairs with pushchairs (can remember all too well how that was!). I don't say no-one else ever offers, but most of the time they don't. Yesterday I was in a well-known coffee-house chain and a mum had to get the buggy up a small but stupidly steep flight of steps (great shop design btw - clearly by a non-parent!). A man stood right next to her and vacantly watched as she wrestled with the thing, then stood and vacantly watched some more as she fought to get the door open.

(I was sitting right at the back and by the time I got to her she'd gone).

So yes, OP, I do agree that manners cost nothing and life in general would be SO much more bearable if people were just a bit more considerate of each other.

MitchyInge Wed 05-Aug-09 17:50:07


I hate it when, in a traffic jam, cars inch across junctions just in case the person waiting at the junction slips out in front of them. It won't even add any time to their journey.

MitchyInge Wed 05-Aug-09 17:51:25

on other hand I do think, maybe 8 or 9 times out of ten, that when you extend courtesy and a smile to others they reciprocate and appreciate it

Terpsichore Wed 05-Aug-09 17:57:27

Mitchy, your post reminds me of a major car-driving peeve of mine - that no-one seems to think they need to indicate nowadays. Hate it when you're sitting patiently at a junction because someone's coming towards you, then they make the turn without even a glance in your direction and you sit there fuming.

It's this lordly 'why should I tell anyone what I'm going to do?' attitude.

Twunts. angry (Sorry, that's not very considerate, is it?!)

MrsChemist Wed 05-Aug-09 17:57:47

I can't stand people being rude to customer services. Even if I'm furious about something I never take it out on the person I'm speaking to, because it's not their fault.

when I was 16 I worked at as a cashier in a shop (for £3/hour) and some woman screamed at me because I had to bend down to get her receipt whilst I handed her her change and I missed her hand. Her change fell onto the counter. I would have cried had my manager not come over and told the woman she was a silly bitch.

Also, the person who came up with, "the customer is always right" needs a bloody good smacking (I believe it was Mr. Selfridge.)

LouMacca Wed 05-Aug-09 18:18:51

YANBU Over the past two weeks we have been out with various friends and their children and I have had numerous children round for play/lunch/tea. The lack of manners totally shocks me!

My DS and DD always say please and thank you and I would be mortified it I thought they didn't while at a friends house. One of DS's friends has been round for the afternoon - no please, no thank you, climbing all over the furniture and constantly saying I'm allowed to do that at home when I told him off about it. Not his fault, his is only 6, but his parents should be ashamed. He will ot be invited again.

LouMacca Wed 05-Aug-09 18:20:01


ElieRM Wed 05-Aug-09 22:32:15

LouMacca- you are right to not invite him again. i doagree its the fault of the parents, its not hard to teach dc's pleases and thankyous.
urg..just thought, we're getting the train to visit dps tomorrow. last time, people were insuch a rush to get on a train that wasn't leaving for 10 mins that they actually pushed passed a frazzled looking mum struggling with a pushchair and two other dc's. when dp went to help her she was so grateful she looked like she was going to cry.

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