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to ask DH to have a vasectomy so that we can move on even though I might like another baby

(6 Posts)
depressednamechanger Tue 04-Aug-09 21:27:35

My youngest child is a few months old, I have 2 other DC. We had decided that we were not having anymore after DC3 because of recurrent miscarriages, money, difficult pregnancies,PND, the extra strain another baby would put on the family etc

But I keep thinking about having another one because I want one - maybe selfishly blush,DH would have one if I would, because we have very little family and would like our DC to be part of a big family, am worried about middle child syndrome.

If my DH has a vasectomy then there is nothing to think about and we can get on with our lives. WWYD

blondissimo Wed 05-Aug-09 09:20:48

YABU if you think there is a chance that you might want another - can't you just double up on contraception?

LuluMaman Wed 05-Aug-09 09:23:03

I would not insist on the vasectomy as you would be using it to sidestep the real issues and could potentially come to regret it more

unless you are 110% sure you do not want more children and would be devastated to get pregnant, then don;t do it

consider a coil instead, it is v v effective and can be removed if you want to TTC

once you feel better and your baby is older and things are easier, you could both feel decidely different

CMOTdibbler Wed 05-Aug-09 09:25:07

YABU - it's a pretty irreversable decision (yes I know they can be reversed, but it isn't certain to work by any means).

And when your youngest is only a few months and you have had PND etc, now is not the time to be making that sort of decision.

Get an Implanon or Mirena - something long acting, and make a decision not to discuss anything to do with TTC until that runs out so it takes the pressure off

Longtalljosie Wed 05-Aug-09 09:30:30

You'd like your husband to have a vasectomy because you'd like more children?

No, don't do that. Agree with dibbler you're possibly not thinking clearly at the moment. What contraception are you currently using?

ABetaDad Wed 05-Aug-09 09:35:53

You should definitley wait at least a year after the birth of your last child to make a decision like that.

Sounds like both you and DH are not that commited to never having another child.

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