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to think that they should feed my dc

(36 Posts)
Lovemyshoes Tue 04-Aug-09 10:56:08

I know that I am lucky that someone can have my dc (10 & 7) whilst I am at work but,

Am I being unreasonable to think that two children need more than 2 slices of toast and a yogurt between 8am and 4pm (they CHOSE to have them for longer, they didn't have to)

They came home and they were both ravenous and bad tempered/gumpy etc.

ZippysMum Tue 04-Aug-09 10:58:08

Hi *love my shoes*
I think I would have sent them with a packed lunch and snacks...

LionstarBigPants Tue 04-Aug-09 10:59:10

I have to say that's pretty shocking. Don't know any back story, but who are 'They'? Can you send a packed lunch if nothing else is forthcoming.

ZZZenAgain Tue 04-Aug-09 10:59:21

who has your dc during the day?

Yes, definitely give them a big packed lunchbox they can eat lunch and snack from during the day

iMumruly Tue 04-Aug-09 10:59:45

Cant you send them with a packed lunch-I would.

Who is they btw-that makes the difference, are you paying, have you got a contract? was the issue of lunch discussed? did the kids ask for for and get denined it or were they to busy to realise they were hungry?

If you are leaving your kids with someone you should have a good enough relationship with them to be able to talk about this stuff with them.

rubyslippers Tue 04-Aug-09 10:59:57

who is they?

friends/GPs ...

why didn't they have lunch? Were they offered it?

Did they eat and just not tell you

Lovemyshoes Tue 04-Aug-09 11:01:36

It's their aunty and grandad, who know how much of an appetite the eldest has.

I didn't think today (about packed lunch) and I'd had a horrid day yesterday so forgot to do it last night, this morning they were even earlier collecting them, 7.15am this morning, they didn't even have time for a drink before they were sheperded out of the house.

Lovemyshoes Tue 04-Aug-09 11:02:47

They weren't offered anything and that is all they had, dd2 left most of the toast.

I just hope they have sufficient food today or I will have to say something.

iMumruly Tue 04-Aug-09 11:05:49

So you are saying then that the childrens aunt and grandparents know how hungry they get and dont offer them food? Why leave your kids there then-there are other options.

And if you really have no choice then it is your job as mum to supply your kids with food, especially when you know that the carers arent so hot on it.

Heck I even take a packed lunch for me and my kids when we visit my folks/friends-its just easier.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Tue 04-Aug-09 11:06:12

I'm sorry but that is madness - on your part. Yes it is good that your relations are happy to have your kids but for god's sake grow a backbone and tell that that they have to have their breakfast before they leave home in the morning.

Also - surely by aged 10 the eldest is able to speak up and ask for something to eat?

I'm not defending your aunty and grandad, but I think you are being very passive about the whole situation.

Lovemyshoes Tue 04-Aug-09 11:08:29

You don't know the aunty

iMumruly Tue 04-Aug-09 11:09:35

No, but you do.

ZZZenAgain Tue 04-Aug-09 11:10:21

call the auntie and grandad, say they didn't get round to having breakfast before they left, so could they please organise something for lunch/snacks today and you'll have a packed lunch ready for them to take along tomorrow.

Also can you pop out at lunchtime/after work and just get a bag of stuff to hand to the auntie tomorrow - milk, fruit, some healthy snacks, some bread or whatever and say that's for mid-morning, afternoon snacks for the kids, something like that?

rubyslippers Tue 04-Aug-09 11:10:55

you should have given them some money to buy them lunch out then if you didn't have time to make a packed lunch

Call them now and ask them what they are going to offer them for lunch ... job done

notsoteenagemum Tue 04-Aug-09 11:11:20

I think it is annoying for you Lovemyshoes my PIL often take my dc out for the day and ds will only eat a yogurt or a banana (partly because they refuse to believe he doesn't like sandwicheshmm)I have learned to prepare them with hearty breakfasts!
Have they only just started looking after them though or does this happen regularly?

funtimewincies Tue 04-Aug-09 11:14:00

Have I got this right? Your children are being looked after by someone that makes a 10 year old too afraid to ask for food shock.

Is there really no childcare alternative sad?

Lovemyshoes Tue 04-Aug-09 11:19:11

This is the first time they have had to have them whilst I am work and they are not the most approachable.

If I say ANYTHING they will more than likely refuse to look after them again.

rasputin Tue 04-Aug-09 11:20:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SolidGoldBrass Tue 04-Aug-09 11:29:17

If they are not feeding the children, what else are they doing with them? If you are scared of these people, isn't it likely that your children, being smaller and more vulnerable, are terrified of them?
If you are so scared of these people that you cannot even tell them that your children need food, then you really can't leave the children with them again.

ZZZenAgain Tue 04-Aug-09 11:43:14

you're really too scared to call them and say "It's just occurred to me the kids are probably starving. I'm really sorry but I didn't manage to get breakfast for them this morning. I know it's my fault but they'll be extra hungry today, do you think they could have an extra big lunch?" after all you're saying it is your fault, how can they take offence at that? Assure them you'll be better prepared for tomorrow.

Then really, be prepared for tomorrow, make sure you buy your stuff etc today and make your packed lunch the night before, add some snack food and leave your ds aged 10 in charge of getting him and his sibling a snack out mid-morning and afternoon as well as lunch. Get the breakfast things out the night before. If you're not going to have time for breakfast, make a sandwich they can eat in the car.

ZZZenAgain Tue 04-Aug-09 11:43:49

maybe she really is desperate for child care options and this is the only option she sees at the moment.

notsoteenagemum Tue 04-Aug-09 12:07:17

Agree with ZZZenAgain, and if they are really that bad that they take offence to that, I would look for something else sharpish.

ruddynorah Tue 04-Aug-09 12:10:19

good lord.

you need to take control even if all you can do is make them a packed lunch.

i assume this aunt is not eating a sumptuous lunch while the children watch on?

PrincessToadstool Tue 04-Aug-09 12:12:44

So you are knowingly leaving your children with people who don't feed them and by the sounds of it don't want to look after them? (based on your post 'if I say anything they won't do it again')

DandyLioness Tue 04-Aug-09 12:20:47

Message withdrawn

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