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to expect a teensy weensy bit of support?

(15 Posts)
blinks Sun 02-Aug-09 02:05:00

have basically had e-fuckin-nuff of it and am ready to bitch slap the lot of them (mine and DH's family).

someone hold me back.


i hate them. truly hate them.

<pounds keyboard>

lou33 Sun 02-Aug-09 02:09:55

what have they done?

i am at the end of my tether too but in a more emotional way which is v v unlike me

zazen Sun 02-Aug-09 02:16:46

here, have a a teensy weensy bit of support from me.

You're not organising a wedding or anything foolish like that are you?! shock

blinks Sun 02-Aug-09 02:19:21

oh you reeeeally don't want to know.....

<opens pandora's box>

ok- MY family have not believed me or supported me during or after i confronted my parents over childhood emotional/sexual abuse (dad touched me on one occassion but was generally creepy). eventually had to cut them out of our lives except for my sister but she's pretty much taking their side (she's deny that but she fucking is).

my DH's family are INSANE. his dad had a threesome infront of him when he was seven years old, held his head under the water and force fed him to 'teach him a lesson'. i could go on and on. he's basically a cunt. his mum now doesn't speak to him after he confronted them after 40 odd years of putting up with their bollocks.

we're well rid, that much is obvious but having no family and no family support leaves a horrible empty feeling and i occassionally get horrendous waves of utter, utter rage. i can't sleep for it and worry it'll eat me up over time.

we have 2 children and the thought of someone behaving towards them the way they have makes me feel sick.

<turns green and rips off shirt>

blinks Sun 02-Aug-09 02:20:17

thanks zazen, that's sweet.

lou33 Sun 02-Aug-09 02:25:19

blinks fwiw, i banned my exh's mum from ever seeing the kids til they were old enough to make their own choices, years ago, after 15 yrs of trying to be the peace keeper between her and exh

she it totally nuts and i think she is part of the reason exh turned into such a fucko

my kids have no grandparents , my mum id=s dead, i havent seen my father on over 30 yrs, the mil is banned, the fil isnt interested (they split when exh was 2)

they havent suffered from it

if you think you have to cut them out then do it, our family comes first

look after your kids and yourself first, they have to reap what they sow

i dont know if that helps at all

Deeeja Sun 02-Aug-09 02:28:59

No you are not being unreasonable.
My family are mostly rubbish too, I have 3 autistic sons now, and after around 20 odd years of my life, have realised I am better off without them, they would never have been any kind of support at all, and my kids are better off. Dh's family are very strange, we had a row about it today, and I don't like my sons being around them.
I do feel it when I see people I know that have wonderful families and get great support from them, I do feel a bit sad then, but that is life. But it is shit.

blinks Sun 02-Aug-09 02:33:53

mine have no grandparents now either. MIL did see them occassionally but this has stopped after i said no to FIL seeing them. apparently it's ok for them to reject, abuse and ignore their own son but have full access to his children, even though they show little interest in them.... what utter bastards.

you're right lou, they won't suffer for it.

very DISAPPOINTING though, isn't it?

blinks Sun 02-Aug-09 02:37:18

deeja- think that's when it resurfaces for me, when i hear or see families who have that support and love.

it is life and it's bad luck. i know that rationally but when you get no time off from looking after your children and the family who are in your life seem not to give a shit, it really becomes to much.

i wanted to stay close to my sister but it's proving impossible. it's driven a huge wedge in between us and i can't see a way back.

blinks Sun 02-Aug-09 02:41:51

deeja- trust your instincts about your DH's family... how are they strange?

blinks Sun 02-Aug-09 02:42:32

i'll pester you tomorrow for more info- am off to seeth quietly in bed.

lou33 Sun 02-Aug-09 02:45:20

very disappointing, but i think better than having unstable people dripping poison into your children's ears

they need you most of all, anything else is a bonus not a necessity

fwiw i would cut them out of our lives too if they were my family

Deeeja Sun 02-Aug-09 02:45:34

I know Blinks, it is relentless. I am 32 weeks pregnant now, and may have to be alone to have this one, since we can not get anyone to look after the others. I love my sons, and I can not see that my parents loved me at all, not the way they treated me.
Sorry to hear that about your sister. Sometimes people are in denial, because they want to hang on to a fantasy idea of what family life should have been like, and admitting it was not is too much. She may not be as strong as you are.

Deeeja Sun 02-Aug-09 02:46:31

Good night Blinks.

blinks Sun 02-Aug-09 11:53:31

morning. got my period last night. HA!

explains my morbidity.

i deal with this generally but if i'm feeling ill or stressed start getting angry. i think my sister may not be as strong as me but regardless of that i resent being the scapegoat for a family's problems. i was always the one who listened to their problems and now, when i needed them most, they've let me down so horrendously. in their words i 'brought it up' so it's my fault.

deeja- where in the UK are you? i would help you if i could... you shouldn't have to give birth alone!

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