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to feel pissed off at my two friends?

(16 Posts)
FrameyMcFrame Fri 31-Jul-09 18:08:40

Aww shit, it's like being back in the playground but here goes.

My neighbour and I started to get to know each other about two years ago and we have built up a frienship since then. I walk her dog while she is at work and we share a bottle of wine a few nights a week. I introduced her to my bessie mate a while back and they got on like a house on fire. To which I thought great!BUT

They have started doing things together and not inviting me and I'm feeling a bit fucked off to be honest. They are both without children and single whereas I have two kids and I am in a relationship so they have lots in common that I don't share.
I am pissed off that they have 'gone off' with each other, am I being unreasonable?

TheCrackFox Fri 31-Jul-09 18:10:41

Hmm, difficult one.

But if they don't have DCs or a relationship then perhaps they have more free time for each other.

StealthPolarBear Fri 31-Jul-09 18:11:28

yanbu but neither are they I think.
As long as you are included in everything that's practical and reasonable I don't think there's anything wrong with them getting on so well they do the spontaneous fun things you can do together when you don't have DCs.
(I had to look up spontaneous btw, it's been so long )
I do know how you feel though but I think you just have to accept yabu

StealthPolarBear Fri 31-Jul-09 18:11:49

after all if you were doing a mum and baby thing, would you invite either of them?

FrameyMcFrame Fri 31-Jul-09 18:15:57

no, thats true StealthPB. I think I am being unreasonable really but I can't help feeling envy when I hear about their latest great night out that I wasn't invited to. I mean, I introduced them after all!

PavlovtheForgetfulCat Fri 31-Jul-09 18:16:28

I think YANBU to be put out but its difficult if they get on as you can't stop them being friends.

Regardless of whether its ok for them to be better friends than you or not, I would still be a bit hmm and sad about it

StealthPolarBear Fri 31-Jul-09 18:18:17

I know

FfreckleFface Fri 31-Jul-09 18:25:38

Could you have gone on the night out? It sounds to me as though they maybe presumed you couldn't come-if you were just not invited then why would they tell you?

Are you still seeing them both, sharing bottles of wine etc? If so, then a good natured moan than you would really love to go on a good night out will probably do the trick. If not, it makes it trickier and a lot more like being back in the playground.

I feel like this sometimes too, but issue lots of invitations for dinner and drinks at mine so I still get girly fun (that actually sounds a bit rude, but you know what I mean).

And you do have a huge portion of life that they just might not 'get'. Have you got 'mum' friends too? By that I mean people you genuinely click with who happen to also have children, not just randoms you wouldn't bother with if they didn't hang around the same toddler group/school gate with? I have a few, and it makes a huge difference when you feel left out of the single stuff.

FrameyMcFrame Fri 31-Jul-09 18:29:35

yes, I feel like I can't exactly flounce off about it though I would very much like to.

FrameyMcFrame Fri 31-Jul-09 18:38:00

Thanks FF, Yes I do have Mum friends and they don't know them. We do daytime things wwith kids etc.
I couldn't go out last weekend as I didn't have any childcare, but neighbour and friend suggested a girly night on the Sunday which didn't happen but I then found out that they spent that evening together.
I mentioned it to my friend today and she said 'I can't be expected to take you everwhere!' to which I replied 'but you said...um' hmm

FfreckleFface Fri 31-Jul-09 18:44:24

Again, if you then here about it, I doubt it is anything malicious, just a bit thoughtless.

YANBU if you are pissed off, but don't worry so much about it. Easier said than done, I know- this is why I hate being a girl sometimes!

FfreckleFface Fri 31-Jul-09 18:46:48

Hear, not here. blush

FfreckleFface Fri 31-Jul-09 18:46:50

Hear, not here. blush

FfreckleFface Fri 31-Jul-09 18:46:54

Hear, not here. blush

oneopinionatedmother Fri 31-Jul-09 19:01:08

be glad you have two friends to be pissed off with!

you're not being unreasonable as such, as that's a pretty normal way to feel, but perhaps it's best to try no to be upset about it.

FrameyMcFrame Fri 31-Jul-09 19:34:03

yes, I think there might be some jealousy involved from my neighbour friend as she really wanted kids but never got around to it with her ex. I do feel she is almost trying to piss me off on purpose passive agressively

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