I am using an old name for this in case of Rl recognition etc.
Backstory: my DH suffers from severe depression and has done for a long time. We have a (planned) DS who is 2. He was taking antidepressants but recently stopped as he didn't like the 'numbness' they give him.
Up until a few weeks ago I was on the minipill. I stopped to get an IUD fitted, and managed to get pregnant in the two weeks between the last pill and the IUD appointment.
I cancelled the appt, and told DH, who said straight away that he wanted rid, as if we had another baby he would leave. He said that he would rather be dead than have another baby!
I know this is dramatic but it doesn't really leave much room for my feelings, does it? I am frankly terrified as I only ever saw myself with one DC and I love him to bits - really not sure I am capable of caring for another one as well. (issues with my own PND)
I thought I could be rational about it, but as the days pass I am finding it impssible to imagine myself being able to physically go through with a termination. I can make the appointment, fine, but I just can't imagine it happening
Whenever I try to talk to DH about it he tells me how utterly miserable it would make him, and how it is hard enough for him to be responsible for one child, and how - this is the worst bit - if it wasn't for DS he would leave/kill himself.
Frankly I was too shocked to process this comment at the time, but thinking about it this monring had made me SO angry. He is basically telling me that he doesn't give a shit about me, isn't he? My feelings count for nothing - my job is to 'sort it out' and pretend like ti never happened.
I could go on, but this is long enough as it is, Thanks for reading.
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AIBU?
to want a bit of support from DH in this shitty awful situation?
42 replies
LittleBottle · 30/07/2009 11:27
OP posts:
growingout ·
30/07/2009 11:53
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