I will try and keep this brief and understand if others think I am behaving badly. I have name changed.
Anyway to try and be brief my bil and sil are going through a very acrimonious divorce.
I can sympathise with both parties and have not taken sides or bad-mouthed either party.
Since they married they have had very little contact with either myself or my dh and my children.
BIl has been married 3 times in total, sil twice. Neither had maintained any contact with ex in laws what-so-ever.
My dh has said that every single time his brother has married he has cut all contact with my dh and it is a standing joke with him that his brother will only contact him when he is between wives.
They have visited our house once in 12 years (we live 20 mins drive away) I have lost count of the number of times we have visited them with birthday/Christmas presents for their children. We have 3 children but they have always left our presents with my in laws(whom we don't see that often and who also live about 20 mins drive away from either of us. Alternatively they post out card/presents. On many, many occassions this has resulted in my children receiving presents several months after their birthday and has been very difficult for me to come up with excuses for them.
When it was my dds birthday (7) she received niether a card or present. My mil came to visit us on my dd birthday but expressed concern that she might have bil with her and he would feel uncomfortable as he hadn't bought her a present or card. Dispite the fact that he would have to drive past a local shop selling cards and he could quite easily have put some money in a card!!!!!!!!!
Both sil and bil earn far, far more than than me and dh put together. I am talking well over £35,000 each so money is not the issue.
Anyway dd received absolutely nothing for her birthday, fair enough.
However recieved a call from mil, dh answered and she was basically reminding us that it is niece's birthday tomorrow and hopefully we will buy her a nice present!!!!
Apart from the fact that my dd got nothing, we have no idea where my neice is living as sil left marital home and has changed her mob no.
I am not in the habbit of tracking her down so to speak. I offered to meet up with her when she first left but she declined, fair enough.
My dh told mil what he thought of the pair of them and that no, neice will be receiving exactly the same as what my dd received-nothing!!!!
I know it is not my niece's fault but neither is it my dd's fault and bil confirmed that he did know it was my dd's birthday and was "sorry" he didn't bother to get her anything.
Am I really that unreasonable under the circumstances to treat others how they have treated me?
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To not have gotten my niece anything for her birthday?
17 replies
whyisitalwaysmyfault · 29/07/2009 22:20
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