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to want to yell "you must be joking" at BIL & SIL. They want to take ds on holiday with them ..

(50 Posts)
clumsymum Tue 28-Jul-09 16:34:40

There is history behind this .

They took ds to cornwall with them 4 years ago, and sent him home after 3 days cos they couldn't cope.

Here is the thread I wrote about it at the time (I was called Easy back then). You don't have to read it all

I still feel upset when I think about it now . I am utterly incredulous that I got a phone call this p.m., asking if he'd like to join them on Saturday for 2 weeks in Devon.

I managed to splutter thanks for asking, and say that we had some things arranged, so probably not, but BIL said he'd give me a little time to think about it.

I don't WANT to be rude but ....

Over my dead body

iheartdusty Tue 28-Jul-09 16:35:56

whaaaaat?

they are imbeciles of the highest order

Blackduck Tue 28-Jul-09 16:45:05

Hi Easy - have been wondering where you have been! I remember the thread well (bin bags and all that!)... Have they got short memories or what! Was it ever alluded to afterwards?

Alibabaandthe40nappies Tue 28-Jul-09 16:46:18

shock I would be blunt and just say 'after last time, I don't think it would be a good idea'.

Spidermama Tue 28-Jul-09 16:46:34

I remember that thread.

I think you would have every right to shout ABSOLUTELY NOT A CHANCE! It was a complete disaster last time which caused much hurt and pain to many.

Uriel Tue 28-Jul-09 16:49:42

I remember that thread - can't believe they've asked again!

Spidermama Tue 28-Jul-09 16:50:18

That thread clearly made a bit impression on us all. grin

cat64 Tue 28-Jul-09 16:51:40

Message withdrawn

clumsymum Tue 28-Jul-09 16:55:43

"Hi Easy - have been wondering where you have been! I remember the thread well (bin bags and all that!)... Have they got short memories or what! Was it ever alluded to afterwards? "

Hi, I've been here on and off in the last 4 years !!

Well, After the letter, we never spoke about the Cornish incident again. Ds has stayed the night at their house once or twice, always his choice to do so, and never more than one night at a time, but really only once or twice in these last 4 years.

I still can't believe that they should even consider asking me ....

Blackduck Tue 28-Jul-09 16:59:07

I've been on and off too so we have obviously missed each other!

I would simply say 'no' and don't bother to explain....

LIZS Tue 28-Jul-09 16:59:53

ooh remember that thread - no way !!!

clumsymum Tue 28-Jul-09 17:00:03

Spidemama, you are right, it must have made an impression, I didn't expect anyone else to remember it.

I've just glanced thru' it again (I was amazed it was still available), and it seems it could almost become a screenplay. It was certainly my longest thread ever.

So I'm not BU to declined the invitation then ?

I have to say, now the initial shock is over, I'm finding it a little bit funny.

clumsymum Tue 28-Jul-09 17:00:33

Spidemama, you are right, it must have made an impression, I didn't expect anyone else to remember it.

I've just glanced thru' it again (I was amazed it was still available), and it seems it could almost become a screenplay. It was certainly my longest thread ever.

So I'm not BU to declined the invitation then ?

I have to say, now the initial shock is over, I'm finding it a little bit funny.

clumsymum Tue 28-Jul-09 17:01:16

oooops

katiestar Tue 28-Jul-09 17:01:24

maybe they think that it was 4 years ago and he is older and calmer now.
I would just say that you have other things on.

SoccerMum Tue 28-Jul-09 17:03:46

Do you think things will be different now that the boys are so much older? How does your DS feel about it?

clumsymum Tue 28-Jul-09 17:04:24

Katiestar, I'm sure that's it, but they also know how hurt and upset I was.

And they are suggesting 2 weeks.

Sparkletastic Tue 28-Jul-09 17:05:25

Have just read the original thread clumsymum and I have to say my GPs did this to me when I was 6 - i.e. drove me home from what should have been a week's holiday with them all because I said I was bored at a cricket match that they took me to hmm. I have to say I never really got over it and my relationship with them was always strained - as was my mum's (her parents). Don't relent - one strike and they are out on this one!!

hercules1 Tue 28-Jul-09 17:05:58

I remember too. Yanbu at all. I would also say not after last time.

clumsymum Tue 28-Jul-09 17:07:19

SoccerMum, I am not putting the question to DS.

He would like the idea I think (4 years is a long time ago when you're 10, altho he was talking to me a few weeks ag about the time Uncle sent him home), but I don't think he'd like to be away for 2 weeks.

I just don't trust them not to 'lose it' again. Their GS would be there again.

clumsymum Tue 28-Jul-09 17:09:01

Thanks Sparkletastic, as one with a similar experience, I value your opinion.

katiestar Tue 28-Jul-09 17:12:39

2 weeks is WAY too long.

SoccerMum Tue 28-Jul-09 17:14:28

I think youd be better just to say that after last time you dont think it would be a good idea.

2 weeks is a long time.

belgo Tue 28-Jul-09 17:17:17

Gosh I've just read that thread from four years ago, and one thing that strikes me (apart from the clothes in the bin bagshock among other things), are they trying to make up for what happened last time, by offering to have him now?

wannaBe Tue 28-Jul-09 17:23:21

tbh I'm amazed that you even maintained a relationship with them after that (have just read through the original thread), I wouldn't have, and they wouldn't ever have been allowed to take my child out again after that - ever.

So no, yanbu. And I would even be blunt and say "no, after the last time it would be over my dead body." Although as you've allowed him to go out with them/stay over at their house again since then you may not have such a strong case in their eyes, iyswim.

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