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To be a little annoyed at my friend?

(13 Posts)
debs40 Tue 28-Jul-09 09:57:52

Would be grateful for honest answers here as I am aware that I can be a little oversensitive to these things grin

I see an old school friend of mine about once or twice a year. She has two kids. One is a teenager. For that reason, we tend to go and visit her and her family. No problem. They live in a big house in a holiday area and are always very hospitable.

We are going on holiday to her county tomorrow. About two months ago she texted me and asked if they could join us for a weekend. We said yes. Lovely.

We didn't hear anything else. No bother. they're always busy (as are we!).

I chased at the weekend and she didn't mention joining us but made it clear that they have guests down the weekend we are down there and then are off on holiday the weekend after. This means we can't stop by on the way to our holiday destination or on the way back.

I texted her and said that we would be happy to meet somewhere next week to catch up. She is a teacher so is off school.

No answer.

My friend's husband is a very dominating personality and their house is always full of his family or friends but I do get a bit miffed at being the only person doing the running around to meet up.

Am I being silly?

debs40 Tue 28-Jul-09 09:59:19

I should add that I have two kids too so it's not always easy dragging them round for visits.

Haylstones Tue 28-Jul-09 09:59:20

I would leave it and if she contacts you have a quick meet up as long as it fits in with your plans.

ZZZenAgain Tue 28-Jul-09 10:01:22

don't text, make a phone call, speak to her directly, ask if there's a chance of meeting up for a day or a meal or something, maybe with her guests along too.

If not, don't worry about it. Sounds like they're just busy. Nothing more sinister than that I think.

debs40 Tue 28-Jul-09 10:10:10

Thanks. We text as telephoning is just not something they do... being so busy and all!

pippylongstockings Tue 28-Jul-09 10:10:11

Unfortunatley texting can often lead to misunderstandings as we read a certain tone or whatever that might not be there.

Call her quickly - explain a brief plan see if she can make it - if not don't worry.
It is tricky to arrange meet ups when other peoples family and friends have to fit in too, you have assumed she would be keeping time free but as you havn't confirmed anything for months maybe she forgot the dates or something?

Rollergirl1 Tue 28-Jul-09 10:14:41

I wouldn't contact her again now to be honest, otherwise it might appear a little bit like you are stalking her. Hasn't she already said in a roundabout way that they are not available for a catch-up? And she hasn't responded to your last text so texting or calling again would look a bit weird IMO.

I think maybe you are being a little over-sensitive about it, but it's easy to build things up in your own head when you dwell on things. I am sure it is something silly like she has forgotten that she asked about joining you and she's been busy with other stuff. Also, do you conduct alot of your conversations by text? If so I reckon a lot easier to miss/forget things.

Blondeshavemorefun Tue 28-Jul-09 10:26:35

agree ring

texts can go astray or read and then forgotten if busy or read and then mistaken the wrong way

debs40 Tue 28-Jul-09 10:27:45

We mostly email to be honest and the ball was left in her court about joining us. I sent her details of the campsite and dates etc but heard nothing more.

She is very laid back so I am probably being a bit over sensitive. Her husband is more like me - organising things! I think time has probably just caught up with her.

I get a bit touchy as we had a third friend in our group who did drop away and it took me a long time to get the hint!

jujumaman Tue 28-Jul-09 10:29:59

I go for the quick call just for peace of mind - tell her you don't want to stalk her but you just need to finalise plans and if she can't see you because she's too busy then not to worry

I text a lot but the downside is you don't always get direct replies and can be left hanging on. Either way don't worry about it, like others am sure there's nothing sinister afoot

Rollergirl1 Tue 28-Jul-09 10:53:52

I really do think that you should lay off contacting her for a bit now though. You say the ball has been left in her court on two seperate occassions now and she has not responded. If you contact her again it is likely that she might start to feel a bit hounded which might exacerbate the whole thing.

I have to say there have been times when I know i've been a bit rubbish about something. But then if the person in question bombards me with emails and phonecalls, I tend to get a bit irritable and step back a bit, despite originally feeling guilty.

debs40 Tue 28-Jul-09 12:40:08

I think you're right. She has my number and an offer to meet up sent by email/text. She is not one who likes to be 'caught' on the phone.

I'll leave it at that.

MoontheMightyThreadKiller Tue 28-Jul-09 14:13:01

Can I just say I am really crap at texting people back. In this sort of scenario (of which I have been involved!) I didn't reply for ages as I was trying to figure out whether I could arrange things to meet up and then everytime I thought I must text it was like 4am or while I was at the dentist or in a meeting etc. and then I would forget again. I did this to a friend recently and she was VERY miffed but it wasn't meant in a snubbing way so I would give her the benefit of the doubt. smile

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