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Painful Neighbours

(6 Posts)
minkybetty Mon 27-Jul-09 11:34:18

Here's the scenario: Couple live upstairs with small DD (1 year old). Very nice, but bit high maintenance and neurotic, especially about their baby - Mum doesn't work but has whole host of help like cleaner, day nanny, night nanny etc.
They have lived upstairs for just over a year.
We have 2.5yr old DD. We (in our opinion obviously) are reasonably laid back with the neighbours as we are in London and you have to live and let live right?!! They on the other hand are always complaining about noise. For example, if we mow the lawn on a Sunday afternoon at 4pm, we have been asked to stop because it will wake their baby as baby's window looks over the back - I think that they should put her to sleep in another room if that's the case, however, even though I think that I have never said it and if asked to stop mowing, we have done so until they have told us that the baby is awake again. They have also complained to me about the neighbours above them, playing music at 10pm (I have never known 2 quieter guys who keep themselves to themselves).
I can hear their baby crying, them singing to it etc.. I have never said anything as I understand they may have a difficult child and I don't want to contribute to their stress by complaining AND i am a mum and so understand what it's like having a small child. However, their noise has become a real issue.
They have also recently taken to leaving their buggy right outside our front door with cheesy snacks littered around it. When I saw their Nanny, I did ask her to not leave it there. 2 days later I received a "very nice" letter appealing to me as a mother that it was so hard for her and that she couldn't possibly carry the buggy upstairs and she was exhausted etc. Feeling bad, i went upstairs and apologised for not speaking to her face to face and that I understood if she was tired etc (please bear in mind, I am a working mother so I think I am being pretty understanding and please bear in mind that there is another couple with small child living opposite them who never leave their buggy downstairs. I said that maybe she could fold buggy up and leave it as long as no snacks littered the hall. End of story. However, back to the noise, it is dreadful and sounds like they are about to fall through the ceiling with all the banging and crashing (I guess it must be the cleaner - it's ridiculous!
So..... rather long windedly, should I just bite my lip and endure (because it's so incredibly petty and small of me)OR should I say something - I am very conscious that I have just complained about the buggy so don't want to appear to be unreasonable - BUT it has got to the point where I want to scream!
Phew

Nancy66 Mon 27-Jul-09 11:53:02

I'm afraid it is part and parcel of London living. Everyone lives on top of one another and day to day noised have to be tolerated.

Your neighbour was unreasonable to ask you to not cut your grass at 4pm because her daughter was napping. that's her problem, not yours.

I once had a neighbour ask me not to hoover during the day as it woke her baby. Tough. I have my own schedules just as she does.

But, on the other hand, you can't complain about people moving around upstairs. the downstairs flat always feels the brunt of the noise - that's just the way it is is. If it bothers you then you should live in a house.

You are not being unreasonable to ask your neighbour to not block your path with her buggy or litter the hallway with food - but you are being unreasonable to complain about movement during the day.

GypsyMoth Mon 27-Jul-09 11:56:58

i'm sorry but i have never read anything so petty!!!!

muffle Mon 27-Jul-09 12:01:38

I think petty annoyances can become really massive when they come from someone who is petty themselves, IYSWIM. If a nice, easygoing neighbour made a bit of a noise sometimes you would be petty to moan about it, but when it's these people who tell you off for mowing at 4pm it must be infuriating. I know it would bring out the worst in me.

However no one is breaking the law so you have to either chill out about it or move. This is what it's like living on top of each other in flats - IME there does come a point when you have just had enough of it and move somewhere quieter if you can afford to.

GooseyLoosey Mon 27-Jul-09 12:03:50

I do have some sympathy, but not sure what you can do. That said, is the property a shared freehold coversion? If so, you could consider all contributing to putting additional sound proofing in the building (we maybe the people on the top paying less as presumably they are not actually bothered by any noise). We had similar issues with the tennant below us when we lived in London and it drove me nuts that she expected us to resolve the noise problems at our expense. If she had suggested sound-proofing the whole building at communal expense, I might have gone for it.

expatinscotland Mon 27-Jul-09 12:05:19

I'd tell them to take a long walk on a short pier if they approached me about the noise from mowing the lawn at 4PM on a Sunday afternoon!

They live in London, not a library.

I think it's time for you to go up and there and be assertive with these piss-takers.

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