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to buy a dog without DH agreeing to it?

(116 Posts)
SoccerMum Sun 26-Jul-09 23:16:14

I so want a little dog, as much as I want one, DH doesnt.

Im sat here plotting to but one without him knowing, and concocting some yarn about how I came about getting the dog?

AIBU?

RealityIsHavingBumsex Sun 26-Jul-09 23:16:59

Message withdrawn

differentID Sun 26-Jul-09 23:17:43

yes, because he will resent you and the dog. Why does he not want one?

dizzymare Sun 26-Jul-09 23:17:56

Yes, I'd be proper pissed off if someone did this to me.

proverbial Sun 26-Jul-09 23:18:04

Yes. And you probably know it. You want to bring a live animal into your home when you know your DP doesn't want one? Not fair on DP OR the Dog, imo.

Sorry, but YABU.

Mybox Sun 26-Jul-09 23:18:54

Dogs are a lot of work when small plus everyday care. You should both want to have one. Why doesn't he want a dog?

ZZZenAgain Sun 26-Jul-09 23:19:20

do you have experience of dogs, do you know what it is going to entail? Does dh have experience of having a dog as a pet?

ZZZenAgain Sun 26-Jul-09 23:19:57

my dh doesn't want a dog either, he had a dog at home when he was growing up and so knew what it entailed.

hmc Sun 26-Jul-09 23:20:00

Why doesn't he want a dog?

HecatesTwopenceworth Sun 26-Jul-09 23:20:05

yes. very. like a baby, it's something you both have to want!

SoccerMum Sun 26-Jul-09 23:20:20

He doesnt see the point to dogs, says that they dont serve any purpose at all!

I know you're all right really, in my rational mind, but Im trying to come up with a comprimise but I cant, so then my mind goes wandering for 'other solutions'

raffyandted Sun 26-Jul-09 23:20:36

YABVVU. Don't do it. Not fair on dog or DP.

hmc Sun 26-Jul-09 23:21:05

"and so knew what it entailed. "

Which isn't a lot quite frankly....

ZZZenAgain Sun 26-Jul-09 23:21:18

would he agree to you looking after someone's dog for a bit, say when they go on holiday, then you'll both get an idea of whether you'd like having a dog around.

dh says dogs are too much work

Momdeguerre Sun 26-Jul-09 23:21:25

YABU. If you are living together and have already discussed it and you know he does not want the dog then you know it is going to piss him off and probably cuase problems.

Poor dog will be the one who suffers - you can choose but poor little dog will be the one who ends up living somewhere where someone does not want it.

MitchyInge Sun 26-Jul-09 23:21:35

yanbu, get the dog then find a new, more agreeable husband grin

ZZZenAgain Sun 26-Jul-09 23:22:14

well depending on age, they need to be toilet trained, generally trained, go for walks, trips to the vet, need a clean now and again, need to be fed etc etc

hmc Sun 26-Jul-09 23:22:22

I think:

* if he is not allergic
* if he is not phobic
* you can afford to keep a dog
* you will be the one who does all the washing, feeding and grooming etc

Then, YANBU

pjmama Sun 26-Jul-09 23:22:31

No, no, no and again NO!! A dog should become a member of your family and is a long term commitment. Unless you both want it, its not fair on anyone, least of all the dog.

Also, if by "little dog" you mean one you can dress up and carry around then NOOOOOOOO!!!!! grin

SoccerMum Sun 26-Jul-09 23:23:23

ZZZenAgain

The only time in my life when I havent had a dog is the last 12 years since ive been married. I always had dogs growing up. DH parents had dogs on and off whilst he was growing up.

When I look after my friends dogs, he loves them, taking them walks and park etc. Seems like he enjoys it when we can send them home after a week!

hmc Sun 26-Jul-09 23:23:49

Someone please explain why he has a god given right to embargo this decision, but SoccerMum is not entitled to go ahead?

othersideofthefence Sun 26-Jul-09 23:23:59

YABU it has to be a joint decision or it will end up being a huge bone of contention between you.

hmc Sun 26-Jul-09 23:25:05

Divorce him and get the dog wink grin

ZZZenAgain Sun 26-Jul-09 23:25:24

we always had about a hundred dogs when I ws growing up (felt like that many mad bundles of fur leaping up at you).

Depends on your circumstances too, how you live, time you have etc whether it's a good idea.

He said he doesn't see the point. What did you say to that?

SoccerMum Sun 26-Jul-09 23:28:46

He said he doesn't see the point. What did you say to that?

I told him all the positives I think it will bring to our lives, im not blind stupid about it, I know their are negatives to it too. But generally im a positive person and he is a 'cup half empty' person!

I am struggling with it as there is no obvious comprimise!..and like JMC has pointed out, im a bit resentful as to why he gets to call time on the discussions.

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