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to tell cafcass to stuff it!

(5 Posts)
RubyBelle Sun 26-Jul-09 12:43:54

hi long story but im in the middle of a 2nd contact case regarding my 3 year old son
1st case ended when my ex failed to turn up for court and get in contact for over a year

he was found in a finding of fact to have being violent towards me.

second time round cafcass have ordered drug and drinks tests and a psychologist report. Drug test was for 3 months which he passed the drink test which is the most important to me as he was allways violent when he was drunk came up on the hair strand that he had levels in his system although he has told cafcass he no longer drinks or ever had a drink problem

he also had to have a blood test to go with the hair strand test

which he has done nothing about for 4 months! after hounding from me and his solicitor he imformed his solicitor that he had attended the hospital and that the results would be available in around a week

6 weeks later i have now found out that he didnt attend the hospital and he is blaming the hospital saying that they have made a mistake with the results and lost all record of him!

i feel that this along with all his other lies just during this case is a sign of his non commitment to our son

he has being working and failed to tell the csa he cant turn up for the most simplist of tests! he fails to contact his solicitors for weeks at a time which has resulted in the case being put of now for another 4 months

i am self rep as i dont qualify for legal aid i feel that cafass dont take anything i say on board and make out the violence was becasue he was depressed but again i have never seen proof of this (promised by the cafcass officer in the beginning of the case) im at such a loss as what to do

will anyone see this as lack of commitment to my son?

mrsjammi Sun 26-Jul-09 12:46:35

Message withdrawn

GypsyMoth Sun 26-Jul-09 12:50:25

i have similiar going on,and cafcass have written to our judge to recommend case is dismissed as he wont travel to meet with cafcass (230 miles) so he wont travel to meet the kids!! cafcass also say to file a section 91 to prevent re-application.

my ex also had a forensic psychiatric assesment which show he does not suffer from depression either,despite anti depressents for years. also now recomends a psychologists report. all been very enlightening,and he's shot himself in the foot many times,so i know how you feel!!

cafcass SHOULD listen! what did psych report recomend?

CloudDragon Sun 26-Jul-09 12:53:52

What a stressful situation for you.

But remember CAFCASS are not the ones to be pissed off your ex is.

In order for the courts to listen to you, you need CAFCASS on your side.

The officers are people. They will be much more positive towards you if you are towards them.
(It is hard to like someone who doesn't like you)

They are listening to you, they have ordered the drink and drug tests.

When they visit remain friendly and centred on your child. Express your concerns in a considered manner. Write them down so you aren't stressing you will forget things.

Remember they are not making the final decision but their report is powerful. If they report back that you are a loving, good mother who only wants the best for her child that will be the best for you both.#

Hope things go well.

RubyBelle Sun 26-Jul-09 13:12:59

thanks for that everyone the report from the psychologist has being filed yet as my ex is very hard to get hold off so the appts with the doctor have being put off once as he lost his phone! so i dont find out until the end of sept

im sorry if i seemed like ranting im just so upset by it all it seems to me that whatever my ex does cafcass dont seem bothered by he has made up lies in his statements which i have proven wrong and now he is not turning up for important tests and delaying things with his broken phones etc

at the end of the day this man is a violent drink that i have a list of police reports as long as my arm

and even after failing to turn up to one case he is again wasting time and legal aid

he even refused to post my sons xmas pressies and asked me to pick them up from the solicitors and then he didnt send a birthday present

where is his commitment to my son he was a hour and a 1/2 late for court last time he does work

am i being one sided i just cant seem to feel happy about this man looking after my son i dont trust him and its getting worst

my cafcass officer even justified his violent behavour and breaking into my house and trashing whist my son was in as he was upset that i had ended the relenship with him!

how can this be fiar?

any advise please xxx

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