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to be hacked off with my DH?

(21 Posts)
shootfromthehip Sat 25-Jul-09 14:21:31

We live in rural Scotland and the Highland Games are on today. We arranged weeks ago to go as a family today and the forecast is terrible for tomorrow. On Tuesday DH told me that he had a work's night out with his team and he wanted to go (leaving me at home with the kids overnight). I agreed but reminded him that the games were on today and said he had to be home in good time (it started at 12.30pm).

I phoned him and woke him up at 10am, telling him to get his butt home as he was cutting it fine (the traffic is terrible). I then phoned again at 12pm to see where he was and it turns out that he'd gone back to sleep and I'd woken him up again.

So guess what... he's not home. He is currently at least an hour away (traffic permitting) and it looks like we won't get to go. I took the kids to the march past (parade) but taking them to the actual games is a 2 man job as it's a very long walk, most of which is through fields and I can't get the pram through it myself with a toddler and a 5 yr old.

I'm so pissed off but what really annoys me is that we had an argument on Thursday night about him being selfish and trying to emotionally blackmail me into doing what he wants (he wants us to visit his family in Wales but it's a £500 round trip and we can't afford it. I've told him he can go himself as it's £80 to fly and then get the train) and now I feel like I'm being punished for not doing it.

I don't know for sure but I suspect that he is being petty.

So, AIBU to want to kick him when he comes home?

Also- some advice- would you go and pay £20 to get in even if it's only for an hour, rather than not go at all? My kids (who know that we are supposed to have been going) are nipping my head about it.

LaurieFairyCake Sat 25-Jul-09 14:25:08


that is spectacularly selfish behaviour

I wouldn't spend 20 quid to go for an hour when it's so much hassle for you. I would take the money you would have spent and go and buy tea and cake out somewhere nice coupled with some nice flowers and chocolates for you.

shootfromthehip Sat 25-Jul-09 14:30:30

It does seem like a waste of twenty quid but I didn't want to disappoint the kids. I even went out an bought barbeque stuff for our nice family day. Doesn't look like that's going to happen now either.

Looks like I have a fun night ahead of me.


Lilyloo Sat 25-Jul-09 14:33:14

I would be furious , maybe take the kids somewhere else on your own and leave him to explain to them why they couldn't go...

franch Sat 25-Jul-09 14:33:37


sunfleurs Sat 25-Jul-09 14:34:18

Selfish f*cker. Does he often behave like this?

Personally I would take them. I have had to do similar stuff alone with dc many times in the past when my ex let us down over something. I can't let my dc be disappointed because of a selfish adult. Usually end up having a better time if I am honest. Check out my compromise in relationships thread wink.

shootfromthehip Sat 25-Jul-09 14:38:36

He's rubbish with me on occasion but not normally with the kids though. I was let down by my Dad really regularly and will not let it happen to my kids. He just suits himself some times and I know it's going to turn in to a fully fledged argument.

And my DD keeps asking me when he'll be home. It's not fair on them. angry

Cleanitlikebanksysmaid Sat 25-Jul-09 14:39:13

I agree - really bad behaviour....what's the husband equivalent of the naughty step?

shootfromthehip Sat 25-Jul-09 14:41:38

LOL cleanit grin

sunfleurs Sat 25-Jul-09 15:15:40

Take them, its worth the extra effort. Its a triple whammy. The kids get to go and do the thing they have been looking forward to, you dh gets to feel like shit for being so selfish, you get loads of good Mummy brownie points.

jeminthepark Sat 25-Jul-09 15:17:24

The equivalent of the naughty step is the 'huffy bed'

shootfromthehip Sat 25-Jul-09 15:22:31

Actually I've just discovered that the cat has been sick- will leave it for him, and his hangover, to clear up when he ever turns up.

Cleanitlikebanksysmaid Sat 25-Jul-09 15:42:08

Shootfrom - loving your style...grin

NotPlayingAnyMore Sat 25-Jul-09 16:07:52

Sadly I can't see you winning either way.

If you don't go, it'll be "why didn't you take them?".

If you do go, it'll be "what's the problem then?"!

YANBU & I'm very angry on you and your DCs behalf

shootfromthehip Sat 25-Jul-09 16:15:59

Thanks guys. Fuckwit just home and totally unrepentant as though I'm being unreasonable. I mean he did say a token 'sorry honey' as he mooched in and then went to watch the TV with the now bored kids- I don't know what I'm het up about. Arghhh. He's in big trouble.

Oh and I decided not to take the kids- it was supposed to be a family day out, not Mummy does stuff with the kids again.

Cleanitlikebanksysmaid Sat 25-Jul-09 16:54:05

Give him a bloody hard time....he needs to take you all out for a lovely meal tonight or think up a good day out for you all tomorrow. Either way he also needs to pour you out a big glass of wine and do some general 'making up for it'. Can't believe he's being unrepentant though. Blokes are such [pieces of shit emoticon]. If he doesn't come round I would, if i was you, settle down with the laptop and spend all evening ignoring him whilst slagging him off on MN. That should make you feel better....oh and the wine too, don't forget the wine.

FabBakerGirlIsBack Sat 25-Jul-09 17:02:01

Ask him what he is going to do tomorrow as he has disappointed the children and annoyed you.

PrincessToadstool Sat 25-Jul-09 17:18:44

YANBU to be fucked off with him but you should have gone for all the reasons sunfleurs listed. You and the kids are still family after all, you don't need your H to complete you.

Lilyloo Sat 25-Jul-09 19:25:41

Shoot can't believe he isn't even bothered shock hope the dc's pile on the guilt!

Cleanitlikebanksysmaid Sun 26-Jul-09 08:14:02

How did things go last night Shoot?

shootfromthehip Sun 26-Jul-09 14:50:33

I gave him a roasting- as you can imagine- and when he tried to justify his behaviour I told him that there was no room left on the 'higher moral ground platform' as the kids and I were taking up all the space.

We are just back from buying DD's school uniform and he has been very sheepish tbh. I think he knows that he is a twat and told me that I can't make him feel any worse than he already does (actually I can but hey ho), and he has promised that he won't do it again. We'll see.

Thanks for asking though x

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