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To not leave dd any money, when everyone is away next week

(34 Posts)
AlicesAdventuresInWonderland Fri 24-Jul-09 20:06:02

She is accepting no resposibilties and wants to move in with her boyfriend...

should he support her for One week

clemette Fri 24-Jul-09 20:07:48

You may need to be a bit more detailed.

mrsrawlinson Fri 24-Jul-09 20:20:17

How old is she?

MIAonline Fri 24-Jul-09 20:20:39

You mean DD is living with you, but you are all away and she is staying behind, but is wanting to move in with her boyfriend.

If she is of the age that she is thinking of moving in with her boyfriend then I wouldn't expect her boyfriend to support her, I would expect that she would support herself actually.

FabBakerGirlIsBack Fri 24-Jul-09 20:22:28

So, she wants to live with him for the week you are away or full time?

Not up to him to support her. Why would it be? hmm

How old are they?

Northernlurker Fri 24-Jul-09 20:25:21

Well you sound very miffed with her so I think you should sort that out before you make any financial decisions.

theyoungvisiter Fri 24-Jul-09 20:25:41

I agree - you need to explain the context. Eg how old is she, is she studying full time, and what does the boyfriend think of this?

I mean just because your DD reckons she doesn't need to do the washing up because she is going to shack up with him, has he really signed away all rights to his cash on that basis?

skybright Fri 24-Jul-09 20:41:30

Depends what the money is for,if it is food then i would leave some,if it's for going out then i might not as you sound mighty pissed off with her.

Was she meant to come on the family holiday?

whyme2 Fri 24-Jul-09 20:46:03

Details women, we need details.

AlicesAdventuresInWonderland Fri 24-Jul-09 21:10:28


Had to speak to my dad, am going to visit my Mum who has broken her arm, dh will be looking after ds whilst Im away but they will not be here

She is eighteen, studying full time and working as part of her course for the summer
her boyfriend is older than her and with a good job

I have cooked and stocked the fridge

And yes last time we where all away she did not spend the money very wisely

am just wanting her to see she has to give as well as take

oh and dh is her step dad

ingles2 Fri 24-Jul-09 21:14:06

well if the fridge is full and she is working, no you don't need to leave her any money.

AlicesAdventuresInWonderland Fri 24-Jul-09 21:14:48

and yes he is expecting her to move in with him whilst she is still in college with no income in the next few months

katiestar Fri 24-Jul-09 21:15:02

She would need access to money to cope with any emergencies i would have thought.Is your DH going to be at home with her ?

clemette Fri 24-Jul-09 21:16:27

What would the money be for then?

clemette Fri 24-Jul-09 21:17:11

Sorry xp

AlicesAdventuresInWonderland Fri 24-Jul-09 21:21:05

Extra food

I always seem to be shopping,
I am lucky because dh has supported dd very well and my ex dh has too

but the next step with living full time with her boyfriend means surely he has to support her whilst she finishes collegeand that is hard

anyway thank you to all replies have some thinking to do

ingles2 Fri 24-Jul-09 21:24:40

surely she can buy her own toiletries from her wages at 18?
At 18 I had lived away from home for a year, and didn't have a penny other than my wages from working in a bar every night after art college

clemette Fri 24-Jul-09 21:26:27

I admit to being a bit puzzled. Will she need emergency toiletries within a week?

I wouldn't leave extra money (though I would leve some with a trusted neighbour for emergencies). But I wouldn't make the issue the boyfriend. Levae her enough for meals for a week - if she wants more she is earning I think you said.

She will not take responsibility if you leave her money for toiletries...

seeker Fri 24-Jul-09 21:27:35

I would not like an 18 year old daughter of mine to be dependent on an older boyfriend for money.

Does she earn money when she works?

clemette Fri 24-Jul-09 21:27:52

PS I can spell leave - honestly.

ingles2 Fri 24-Jul-09 21:29:17

I agree Seeker, but then I don't think any girl should be dependent on a man for money (prior to having children of course)

AlicesAdventuresInWonderland Fri 24-Jul-09 21:30:52

yes she could or can think it is the set up

children are children longer here we are in Austria

the school, college she goes to is for fourteen to nineteen year olds and they are very much still treated as children at school and it there have been a lot of changes in her life in a less than a year

think she does need to see how much she does have

I also had very little money at eighteen but paid for lots of things and made my money go a long way

ingles2 Fri 24-Jul-09 21:33:58

well, does she earn any money from her holiday job?

AlicesAdventuresInWonderland Fri 24-Jul-09 21:36:24


yes she will get money from her holiday job, which she wants to swap but that is another story,

I still also get a bit of money from her dad
and she has nearly all her family allownace

oh feck she is laughing isnt she

well lucky might be a better word

ingles2 Fri 24-Jul-09 21:58:41

well...yes she is... sorry Alice smile
I appreciate she is still treated like a child in Austria, but there comes a time when it's time to grow up... and as she wants to move in with her bf, it!
you are only going away for a week. if you have left her food, she is more than capable of sorting out any emergency toiletries/food etc. I can't imagine there are any bills that won't wait a week.
She sounds like she is doing well for money, rather too well imo, if she is receiving the Family A and money from her father she should be pay you token rent! (not a lot, just something to contribute)

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