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to repeatedly tell your DS that you will be likely die if you get flu thoughtless at best.

(11 Posts)
tittletat Fri 24-Jul-09 18:17:38

Background: My 12 year old DSS's mum has got 'underlying health problems/asthma etc' therefore is rightly avoiding getting the flu at the mo. But I am livid that she is repeatedly telling DSS that if she gets ill she will die.

Firstly, she probably won't.

Secondly, why tell him that, surely her role is to reassure him.

he is staying with us at the mo. and burst into tears because his little brother has got ill and he is worried.

we have discussed this with her before about her heatlth (had a big operation...again repoeatedly said she may die on the table. Didn't.)

AIBU to think that you should protect your DC a little from things that may never happen?

HecatesTwopenceworth Fri 24-Jul-09 18:21:08

She is being stupid! You don't say that sort of thing to a child ffs. What's wrong with her? (I don't mean physically). Why does she do this?

I mean, she might get run over by a bus tomorrow, does she tell him that?

Silly woman. She clearly needs some help. Is she obsessive about health, illness and dying?

MIAonline Fri 24-Jul-09 18:21:38

It seems as though she enjoys the drama of it, YANBU.

Even if she is worried, it doesn't seem fair to pass all that on to her son.

tittletat Fri 24-Jul-09 18:24:57

hecates - I think she is ob\sessed about herself tbh.

FabBakerGirlIsBack Fri 24-Jul-09 18:26:57


Does she have mental health problems as well as physical problems?

I am sure you are reassuring your DSS as much as you can.

Northernlurker Fri 24-Jul-09 18:27:17

Well I think you should be honest with your children - so I wouldn't encourage her to pretend she is totally healthy but there's a difference between being honest and being morbid and maybe actually enjoying tormenting the poor kid with horrible thoughts? Ugh. You are absolutely NOT unreasonable in thinking she's wrong.

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy Fri 24-Jul-09 18:34:30

YAsoNBU!!! The woman needs telling! My mother is a harbinger of doom - every little thing i did/do she has a story of some terrible fate that befell someone else who did that - even to the point of walking down the road without holding DDs hands or having her on reins (she is 4!), she has a story for everything, and its never pretty. As a result i have SEVERE anxiety issues and have to be on ADs. I am doing OK re the swineflu so far, just stuck my head firmly in the sand and fingers in ears when it comes on the news.

Mumcentreplus Fri 24-Jul-09 18:34:44

Sounds a bit ott...but I'm all for honesty, she should be more thoughtful with her comments..perhaps she does not understand how much it affects him..

tittletat Fri 24-Jul-09 18:36:50

I think she is taking that 'honest with DC' v literally. She always has told him things that I wouldn't. For example that someone died in theirv front garden in a car crash, when he never needed to know as he was with us at the time and they knew none of the neighbours to tell him.

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy Fri 24-Jul-09 18:37:52

mumcentre, yes im all for honesty too - but there is nothing really that the boy can do to prevent himself becoming infected, short of the hygeine stuff that we should all be following, so why worry the poor sod - this will stay with him for the rest of his life if it carries on, believe me, i know. There is no point in telling him that whatsoever, there is every point in his parents being vigilent and responding quickly if he does get sick, other than that, nothing else to be done.

Mumcentreplus Fri 24-Jul-09 18:44:38

I agree imay thats why I said she should be careful with her she really repeated saying this? mum is a drama queen/neurotic type but thats just the way she is..worst case senario and all that..i on the other hand am very relaxed..I blame

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