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To be a bit miffed with DP

(11 Posts)
imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy Thu 23-Jul-09 10:18:22

Today is DDs birthday - DP works for himself, but has still gone into work - despite DDs wailing. The house is a shit hole and i have kids coming later for a party. His tools and work stuff are everywhere and im knackered having had to go to the shop with my mother yesterday (another story).

Im not pissed off with him for going to work, I really could have used an extra pair of hands, if only just to keep DD occupied while i get everything ready. Instead she is whining for someone to play with, while i make cakes, tidy up, etc etc. But DP says to me this am "if YOU really need me to have the day off and help i will" But it was said in such a way that i knew it would be a big deal and that he would get stressed. Also he had already texted the client to say he was going to be there so actually the offer was empty because he knew he couldnt have the day off actually.

Is that what people mean by passive aggression? Being put in a situation where i have to say "no dear, dont worry, you go to work i'll manage".

My mum rang and offered to help, i said yes please - she said, what can i do - i said, keep DD occupied while i sort stuff out. Her voice changed and said "oh, well, um, ok but i will have to take the dog out first" Her idea of taking the dog out is a three mile walk, so wont see her until the party starts i shouldnt wonder.

AIBU to feel a tad put upon?

rubyslippers Thu 23-Jul-09 10:19:39

how old is your DD??

cornsillk Thu 23-Jul-09 10:20:42

Sounds like your DP had to go to work though! Sympathies - parties at home aren't easy. Do you have wine for afterwards?

DebiNewberry Thu 23-Jul-09 10:22:51

No YABU, sorry, I'm guessing that you knew when your dd's birthday was wink, and just because he works for himself, I'm guessing that it doesn't mean he can sack it off because it's convenient in that moment.

But, perhaps he could have tidied his tools up last night.

FiveGoMadInDorset Thu 23-Jul-09 10:24:26

Apart from tidying up tools sorry YABU

Acinonyx Thu 23-Jul-09 10:30:36

YANBU - dh always takes time off for dd's party and it's not exactly a random event - there's plenty of notice to organise that. This year he just took the afternoon as he was too busy to take the whole day - not much help to me then!

Just been to a string of bday parties and all the dad's had taken the day off - so it's not an unreasonable request - as long as you ask really well in advance.

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy Thu 23-Jul-09 10:41:33

i knew i would get a kick up the bum, i think i just needed some help with tidying the garden - ive already done loads this week getting it all ready - he does NOTHING at home, and ive just realised that - hmmmm, i think we need a wee chat!

Oh well, onwards and upwards, not burnt the cake

yet - nearly there!

DD is 4 and now happily sat watching Justin and being ariel in her new mermaid outfit grin

PfftTheMagicDragon Thu 23-Jul-09 10:42:52

Well I assume that your DD's birthday is the same day every year so you should have planned ahead and cleaned and sorted beforehand. I know that things don't always work like this when you are tired with a child but it seems unwise to leave everything until the last minute when you are hosting a party.

You can't expect your DP to take extra time off because you didn't prepare.

Mumcentreplus Thu 23-Jul-09 10:48:43

next time ask wink..a party is not just the domain of mum! everything will work out fine

<<sends positive vibes>>

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy Thu 23-Jul-09 11:01:43

All under control grin now tell me, jam tarts or fairy cakes?

cornsillk Thu 23-Jul-09 14:24:36

mmmm fairy cakes!

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