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AIBU?

To 'press charges' against a 13 yo whose damaged my car windscreen?

22 replies

Pheebe · 22/07/2009 22:37

Cos I feel like the lowest of the low at the moment.

He and his friends have been causing trouble round the village for weeks now but tonight they were flicking stones round with a catapult and they've damaged my windscreen. It has to be replaced.

It was witnessed (not by me) and reported and the police are involved and I had to go out and make a decison to press charges or not, on the street in front of his mates and his dad. His dad did offer to pay for the windscreen but even he said they are at the end of their tether with him and won't hold it against me if I take it further.

I agreed, they've carted him off and are coming back for a statement later.

I feel like shit. He's 13 - an fing and blinding 13 yo who kicked the police car and called the policeman all the names under the sun admitedly but still there he was crying in the back of the car. Have I put him on a criminal path? Have I made us a target for all the local kids? Will I be able to let my boys play out now in case they chuck more stuff over?

to say the least...

OP posts:

Report

Sickofbloodyswineflu · 22/07/2009 22:40

YANBU, not in the slightest. He will learn maybe there are consequences to his actions and maybe will think twice before he acts in future. The fact that he was in tears when he in the van is a good thing, once the bravado was gone, he realised his situation. Little fecker.

A 13 year old that can kick and cuss like an adult ought to be treated like an adult...do the crime, do the time.

Well done..we should all stand up to these people more often.

BananaFruitBat · 22/07/2009 22:44

You've probably done him a favour, in the long term.

SoupDragon · 22/07/2009 22:44

His father admitted they can't cope with him and was happy for you to take it further. You did the right thing.

MollieO · 22/07/2009 22:44

Sounds to me as if his dad wanted you to press charges. It might be enough to straighten him out and give him the shock that he needs.

Pheebe · 22/07/2009 22:49

Thanks guys, thats pretty much what DH said although he's more worried about who's paying for the windscreen. I just can't get the thought out of my head that I've just put a young boy in a police cell.

OP posts:

SalVolatile · 22/07/2009 22:52

Pheebe, please dont worry, you did the right thing. I work a lot within the Youth court system. The most likely thing that will happen to him is that he will receive a formal reprimand or warning for his behaviour, but they may take him to court, where, provided he hasn't offended in the past and he pleads guilty, he will be given a referral Order. Once that is completed it is regarded as a 'spent ' conviction so it wont follow him around for ever. by involving the police thought you have enabled the Youth Offending Dervice locally to get involved, and that is likely to help him in the long run. The aim of youth justice at his level is to prevent further offending, not focus on punishment for its own sake. I hope that's reassuring. You did the right thing.

hatesponge · 22/07/2009 22:56

you totally did the right thing. If it had been a complete accident I might have taken a different view but it sounds as though this is the latest in a long line of problems with this boy - his own dad seems not to know what do do with him.

I think it might well give him a huge shock, and may well long term do him some good.

Loshad · 22/07/2009 22:59

You really did the right thing, hopefully this scare from the police will set him off down the right path. If you hadn't he would just have seen it as getting away with bad behaviour yet agian so no reason to modify his behaviour.

2shoes · 22/07/2009 22:59

yanbu

Pheebe · 22/07/2009 23:01

SAlVolatile - thank you thats very reassuring. I didn't want this to be punishment for punishments sake but maybe for something positive to come out of it for him, or at least to give him the chance to make something positive out of him.

hatesponge - thats what I'm hoping although I can't help thinking he's just a little boy.

I guess I have to keep reminding myself that if it was one of my boys I'd want there to be consequences and for someone to intervene, not just pay his way out of trouble.

I hope he's OK

OP posts:

CyradisTheSeer · 23/07/2009 09:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LadyMuck · 23/07/2009 10:01

CyradisTheSeer, and the increased premiums the following year, unless op doesn't have a no claims discount....

Bramshott · 23/07/2009 10:07

I think windscreen claims don't effect your no claims bonus.

LadyMuck · 23/07/2009 10:13

A windscreen claim from, say, chipping on a motorway won't usually affect your no claims, I agree. But this is vandalism outside a home which I suspect would be viewed differently by most motor insurers. Worth asking the question I guess, but I certainly wouldn't assume that it would be covered.

smartiejake · 23/07/2009 10:16

You didn't put him in a police cell- he did that all by himself. 13 is plenty old enough to take responsibility for his own actions.

You have probably done him a huge favour as something like this might give him the shake up he needs to turn his behaviour around before he heads of into a life of serious crime.

katiestar · 23/07/2009 10:17

personally don't think I would have been the one to want to criminalise my neighbours son.Especially when they were going to pay for the windscreen.

MrLSG · 23/07/2009 10:17

Whenever I've claimed for a windscreen (or other car glass), the windscreen company dealt with the insurance company and no-one was interested in how it happened.

BitOfFun · 23/07/2009 10:20

Phoebe is criminalising anybody, katiestar - the boy has done that all by himself.

CyradisTheSeer · 23/07/2009 10:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Pheebe · 23/07/2009 13:20

Morning all

Well, it is covered on insurance so there's only the xs to pay and it doesn't affect my no claims so no real harm done.

katiestar - I understand what you're saying completely it was an incredibley difficult decision and I felt like I was being asked to be judge and jury. If his dad hadn't been there and said what he said I'm not sure what I'd have done. I don't agree that I criminalsed him though. In fact I had a long coversersation with arresting officer and the new system means that although he si formally arrested and cautioned he will be referred to the youth offending team and this won't be a record that follows him for the rest of his life unless he reoffends.

I have to believe that I have done the right thing by him in the long run. I've given him a chance to get the help and support he needs that it seems his family aren't able to give (by his fathers own admission).

Funnily enough, there are no kids visible anywhere in the village today

OP posts:

more · 23/07/2009 13:29

YANBU - as someone said before do the crime do the time. It is not as if he did not know that what he was doing was incredibly wrong.

If it was my son/daughter, then I would probably have asked you to press charges plus pay for the work needing done. I would have cried myself to sleep for a while because I can just imagine how low he would have felt behind that police car. However what exactly would he have gotten out of the situation if you had not done what you did? That he can go around vandalising and terrorising as he pleases and there will be no consequences!?

HecatesTwopenceworth · 23/07/2009 20:15

You did the right thing - with the support and approval of the parents who are obviously quite desperate for something to knock some sense into him. I hope it works.

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