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to be miffed when people say...

(21 Posts)
LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune Wed 22-Jul-09 15:44:34

I am in the middle of a course and when I say something about exams people always go " oh you will be fine in the exam" like I have some special power to pass exams.
Yes I do usually pass exams but I study quite hard, it doesn't come naturally and I don't have a photographic memory.
I am just slightly miffed that it's ASSUMED I will pass.

I think I am being unreasonable, I know people aren't being rude, but I just wanted to have a moan anyway. It's more fun than actually studying...

MorrisZapp Wed 22-Jul-09 15:45:35

What would you like them to say?

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune Wed 22-Jul-09 15:46:41

I don't know, hence why I think I am being unreasonable.

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune Wed 22-Jul-09 15:47:33

Maybe they should say, "well if you spent less time on mumsnet and more time revising then you wouldn't be so worried".

MorrisZapp Wed 22-Jul-09 15:47:42

I think yabu too to be fair.

jeminthepark Wed 22-Jul-09 15:47:42

Ha- you are actually doing that thing of doing anything else other than study? I remember needing to revise, but suddenly even washing something bizarre like curtains seemed important!

People always say it, cos they can't be bothered to listen to others wittering on about exams.

Anyway, good luck, am sure you'll be....he he

squilly Wed 22-Jul-09 15:48:27

They probably say it because they know you work hard, so they assume you'll pass based on your work rate.

YAB very U by the way. People are only trying to be positive.

Geocentric Wed 22-Jul-09 15:51:36

Maybe you are one of those people who make it look easy, although its actually not? Not my case, I always have rings under my eyes so get the 'oooh you poor thing, you look shattered' even if I'm fine...

MorrisZapp Wed 22-Jul-09 15:51:51

AIBU has been a revelation to me - I never realised before that quite literally all the 'small talk' I've ever made in my life could be made in some way to seem offensive to the listener.

Trying to wonder how somebody would take it if they were working their arse off for an exam and I said 'well you might fail it, so you'd better keep working really hard' or similar.


morningsun Wed 22-Jul-09 15:53:15

I personally find it annoying when people say something will be fine when they don't know that,so

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune Wed 22-Jul-09 16:03:25

Maybe it's not the words its the tone, it's not done in a reassuring way more a dismissive tone as if I am worrying about nothing.

morningsun Wed 22-Jul-09 16:08:15

If someone says that,it's as if you are no longer part of the discussion,as you will be fine and don't need to worry~like telling you effectively to be quiet I guess.

junglist1 Wed 22-Jul-09 16:10:31

I don't want to hear things are going to be fine either. Last year my first uni exams were a breeze, the second lot got cocked up big time.

MorrisZapp Wed 22-Jul-09 16:12:21

Well I bored everybody shitless with my driving lessons. Loads of people said 'you'll be fine' then changed the subject, and looking back I don't blame them.

Maybe the subject just isn't as interesting to them as it is to you?

EccentricaGallumbits Wed 22-Jul-09 16:15:55

YANBU at all. I have the same. oh you always pass, you always do well, you'll be fine etc etc.
Pisses me right off because I agonise and stress tremedously beforehand and find it a huge enrmous struggle.

I have an exam on friday. I am shitting myself. My revision makes no sense at all. Just because I have passes stuff before does not make it a done deal that I will be ok this time.

MorrisZapp Wed 22-Jul-09 16:17:34

Maybe they're trying to be positive, give you confidence etc?

What would you rather they said?

squilly Wed 22-Jul-09 17:24:37

Guess I'd better start thinking of more negative things to say to people in these circumstances as encouragement is clearly not what they're looking for.

Maybe I'll just say 'well, what do you expect me to say about it all?'. Maybe that will be better received??

Sickofbloodyswineflu Wed 22-Jul-09 17:26:19

I suppose they dont see all the hard work you put into your exam prep..maybe they dont know how to encourage you, or see you pass previous ones and kind of assume it comes easily to you.

EccentricaGallumbits Wed 22-Jul-09 17:46:06

I'd be much more motivated if someone said 'well, you'll probably fail so why don't you give up'. I'd work harder and pass just to prove them all wrong.

Pruneurs Wed 22-Jul-09 17:48:18

They are just being encouraging.
They say - whoever they are! - that you gain a 5% advantage in an exam thanks to the adrenalin.
Not that that is relevant to the thread but I thought I'd throw it in

EccentricaGallumbits Wed 22-Jul-09 18:00:51

anyone got an epipen i can borrow for friday then please?

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