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To insist DP gives up alcohol etc. when I am pregnant

(202 Posts)
Chrysanthemum5 Wed 22-Jul-09 15:39:48

Posting on behalf of a colleague as we've been having a big debate on this. Colleague (we'll call her A) and her DP (called E) have been together for a long time, and are hoping to start ttc soon. They have agreed that if / when she gets pregnant A will follow the guidelines e.g. give up alocohol, certain foods etc. Plus she will also cut back on her exercise regime. However, A thinks that to be fair E should also give up these things, including his sports.

So, is A being unreasonable in thinking E should give these things up to support her? Her view is that the baby is part of both of them so they should both follow the guidelines.

From my point of view, DH didn't give up alcohol etc. when I was pregnant, but I didn't really care because I felt he didn't get the good parts of being pregnant so why should he only get the bad bits.

Thoughts? We've had a fairly heated discussion about it so I said I'd post here to get opinions!


SoWhat Wed 22-Jul-09 15:41:45

I think she is being extremely unreasonable! DH didn't stop drinking until I was about 38 weeks!

VinegarTits Wed 22-Jul-09 15:41:47

She is being unreasonable, he can support her without giving up those things, controlling behaviour imo

rubyslippers Wed 22-Jul-09 15:41:56


Why should he have to give up sports?! Pregnant women don't have to ...

ilovetochat Wed 22-Jul-09 15:42:13

no i dont think E should give up alcohol/exercise cos A is pregnant, there is no need.

franklymydear Wed 22-Jul-09 15:42:20

A, in the nicest possible meaning of the word, is a blinking idiot. People like her give pregnant women a bad name - she's not even pregnant and she already has facist tendencies.

The only thing he should give up is smoking.

let the man drink if he wishes and eat brie. Give up Brie because their partner is pregnant - that's so funny!

rubyslippers Wed 22-Jul-09 15:42:43

i think it is really mean spirited TBH and controlling ...

saintlydamemrsturnip Wed 22-Jul-09 15:43:11

Definitely mad.

rubyslippers Wed 22-Jul-09 15:43:16

my DH needed a drink when i told him i was PG!

TheFallenMadonna Wed 22-Jul-09 15:44:06


shonaspurtle Wed 22-Jul-09 15:44:09

That's crazy. Sorry, but what possible reason would there be to do this except to punish her dp? Sounds like a twisted sort of relationship to me hmm

Nancy66 Wed 22-Jul-09 15:45:12

She's being very unreasonable - is she going to insist he gives up work too for three or six months or however long it is?

she's having the baby, not him.

lal123 Wed 22-Jul-09 15:45:23

yup - she's being unreasonable. No need for us both to be grumpy because we can't have a drink/eat soft boiled eggs/pate etc

francagoestohollywood Wed 22-Jul-09 15:46:24

A is being unreasonable. And a bit silly, tbh

shonaspurtle Wed 22-Jul-09 15:46:28

If he was standing in front of her with a gorgeously ripe piece of brie going "mmm mmm lovely brie and you can't have any" then yes, he would deserve a kick in the nuts but for him to not have things just because she can't is madness.

Particularly the sport - why is she even thinking of giving up sport anyway?

Dumbledior Wed 22-Jul-09 15:47:06

Definitely bonkers - can't even blame pg hormones yet!

Gateau Wed 22-Jul-09 15:47:15

She is being extremely out of order and selfish. Either she wants the baby or she doesn't. If she does, then she has to make the sacrifices and not begrudge them. It's not for long.
My DH still drinks the same amount he did before I got pregnant. (I'm now 6 months). But then again he does the stuff I can't do or helps with the things I find difficult - eg change the cat litter grin, lifts all the heavy stuff, ironing, shopping.
Your colleague is being utterly ridiculous.

Fanjita Wed 22-Jul-09 15:47:19

I'd love to know how she's going to share out the labour pains with him! The mind boggles

VinegarTits Wed 22-Jul-09 15:47:19

Is she going to insist he stick a melon up his arse, then try and shit it back out, so he goes through the pain of child birth too?

VelvetPlum Wed 22-Jul-09 15:48:29

She's a nut.
Hope he realises it and has the snip in secret grin

LuluMaman Wed 22-Jul-09 15:49:25

big alarm bells would be ringing !!

am amazed she is not insisting he gives up alcohol etc now in case it affects his little swimmers

i think no drinking or no drinking more than one from about 38 weeks so he is able to drive her to the hospital for the birth
sounds like she is determined to make the pregnancy as joyless as possible

llareggub Wed 22-Jul-09 15:50:41

I bet she was a bridezilla too. The sort that makes her guests wear a specified colour and bans children.

BroodyChook Wed 22-Jul-09 15:50:51

Vinegartits just made me spit tea all over my keyboard grin

ChopsTheDuck Wed 22-Jul-09 15:51:43

shock My jaw literalyl dropped. I'd have been peed off if dp had gotten ratarsed every sat night while I was pg, but that really is taking the biscuit.

I love the melon suggestion, but fgs don't giver her ideas!!

jeminthepark Wed 22-Jul-09 15:52:03

Loopy control freak.

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