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not to expect most of the other Mums to buy a present for the teacher and TA, when we have all already clubbed together to buy one present between us?

(16 Posts)
Minniethemoocher Tue 21-Jul-09 22:01:02

One of the Mums organised a joint, class "whip round" for the teacher and TA. We were all asked to put in £6. Great idea! One lovely large present, from the whole class, rather than the teacher/TA receiving lots of flowers/chocolates, whatever.

So on the last day of school, why was it that I was the ONLY Mum who hadn't bought flowers/chocolates/a card.

And I felt so stupid, as I had put into the joint present, but didn't realise that everyone else had gone off and done their own thing as well, which kind of defeated the whole object....

AIBU to be cross that I was made to look mean/uncaring in front of the teacher/TA?

shonaspurtle Tue 21-Jul-09 22:02:29

YANBU that's crazy.

maggievirgo Tue 21-Jul-09 22:05:32

the teachers will just laugh at their suckyuppyness. don't worry.

MIAonline Tue 21-Jul-09 22:06:29

YANBU, why on earth would they do that?

Fools and their money are parted easily.

angrypixie Tue 21-Jul-09 22:06:34

I put into class collection but still give small personal card and (sometimes) gift myself.

Perhaps it is crazy but I can't really express my thanks or mention personal details in a space on a joint card the size of a postage stamp.

YouLukaAmazing Tue 21-Jul-09 22:07:20

Message withdrawn

PotterVsCullen Tue 21-Jul-09 22:07:45

I shouldn't think the teacher gave a toss that you didn't get an "extra" gift.
I've had 3 lovley gifts from my class, none from the other children, but I don't expect ANYTHING.
Don't worry about it. The other Mums ABU, but not you.

PotterVsCullen Tue 21-Jul-09 22:08:24


Hulababy Tue 21-Jul-09 22:08:35

This is the first year we did a joint present fromt he class and from what I saw everyone who contributed didn't take in another present. I did, as did others, let DD make a card for her teacher to send in.

Niftyblue Tue 21-Jul-09 22:09:07

I did both for DDs
gave to the collection and they bought a bottle of wime seprate

But that was only because DDs teacher has been great this year

I did`nt do either for Ds teacher

Don`t think the teacher would even notice that you did`nt

franch Tue 21-Jul-09 22:09:15

YANBU, it's cheating! Seriously, I would be pissed off

Hangingbellyofbabylon Tue 21-Jul-09 22:09:33

tbh I did that, felt utterly bullied by the playgroup mafia to donate to a joint thing - but myself and the dd's really wanted to do our own thing as they love choosing something and writing the cards etc. So yes, we may have looked fools but the staff seemed pleased and my dd's were happy too smile

nigglewiggle Tue 21-Jul-09 22:11:51

This seems to be getting really out of hand from what I read on here! If you are grateful to a teacher or TA then say so, in a card if not in person. Do not feel the need to bribe them with gifts.

I know a lot of teachers and while they love getting presents (don't we all grin) they don't expect them or judge parents or children according to what they buy.

So YANBU but the whole thing is a nonsense.

Podrick Tue 21-Jul-09 22:23:49

Class presents are less personal than Individual presents, that's why I don't like them. It is hard not to contribute if asked though, although the contribution amount has never been prescribed in my experience.

happywomble Tue 21-Jul-09 22:25:36

I'm not a teacher but I think having a few nice pressies and notes at the end of the year must be a good perk of the job.

I'm afraid I am guilty of giving to the collection and buying a wee pressie too..I'm not trying to compete with anyone else in present giving..merely want to express my thanks to the teacher who has been fantastic and is leaving the school.

It isn't bribery if something is given at the end of the year as your child is unlikely to have the same teacher are they?

I don't think the teacher would look on someone badly if they had signed the communal card /collection but not given an individual gift..they would just assume you've stuck a large amount in the collection if anything!

Rachmumoftwo Tue 21-Jul-09 22:42:23

I was very pleased with the presents I received, but had not expected anything. I would never judge either way, those that give or those that don't.

For my DDs school, I sent in a selection of biscuits for the staff room and DD wrote individual cards which were put in the same basket. All teachers love biscuits!

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