To expect Tesco to employ staff with slightly more social skills than a demented toddler

[Rollergirl1]

Did quite a big shop today with children in tow. I was happily packing my own shopping when a female member of staff came up to our check-out and seemed intent on having a gossipy/flirty conversation with the male cashier. I did not really object to this as long as it wasn't slowing the process down. Then the girl offered to help me with the packing, i think more as a means to legitimately carrying on her conversation than anything else. All well and good. Then she notices the rather large scar I have that runs the length of my upper arm, where I had to have a plate fitted after a rather nasty break. She yelps really loudly and exclaims "Oh my god, what happened to your arm? Ugh it's disgusting!". Infront of my children. Now luckily I am not actually that sensitive about the scar but I was incredulous that someone could be so utterly lacking in social etiquette and intelligence that they think it is okay to say this kind of thing. If it wasn't for my children being there I would have called a fucking cretin and asked to speak to the manager. AIBU?

[cornsillk]

That's terrible. She is clearly lacking in customer service training.

[steviesgirl]

Sad person!

[bigchris]

was she very young?

[wezz]

totally out of order

yanbu

[Thunderduck]

YANBU.I'd be furious and very upset.
I also have a large scar running the length of my upper arm as a result of having a rod inserted to repair my fractured humerus, and while I don't mind people politely asking about it, what she did was completely unacceptable.

[Paolosgirl]

Sounds to me as if she was doing that whole tedius showing off "OMG that's gross" type thing that (some) teenage girls tend to do in front of boys they fancy.

Just feel sorry for her - he's obviously not moving fast enough

[monkeypinkmonkey]

Thats awful. I really think you should speak to manager as she is in desperate need of customer service skills, let alone social skills.

[Rollergirl1]

I would say she was early 20's. Certainly old enough to know better. I agree in that I think it was for the guy's benefit but still incredibly rude.

Thunderduck: Same here, was to repair a spiral fracture to my humerus. How long ago was yours? Mine was 2 1/2 years ago now and was hoping might have faded a bit more.

[junglist1]

What a dickhead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[PotterVsCullen]

Terribly, terribly rude!
I'm really for you.
I have a scar on my face, which I don't mind answering questions about, but if some one said that to me i would want their head on a plate. Call the management immediately and complain. Did you get her name?

[Thunderduck]

Mine was 8 years ago and it's still fairly prominent I'm afraid, though the colour is much lighter, the textural difference between my scar and my skin is fairly obvious, though not that many people notice it thankfully.

I have heard that bio oil may make a difference.

[Thunderduck]

Mine is a pale pink now, and looks rather like a ladder than one gets in one's tights, the skin is very wrinkled there.

I meant to try bio oil but never quite got around to it, though perhaps it's still worth a try.

I don't think about my scar all that often, only when someone comments on it, or when the rod is causing me pain.

[Thunderduck]

How did you break your humerus if I may ask?

[Rollergirl1]

It is more the difference in texture than the colour, as you say. I did use Bio-oil for a bit but then kept forgetting to use it. I'm not really that bothered by it. I certainly wouldn't consider wearing things to cover it.

As for how I broke it. When people ask I always weigh up whether to tell the truth or not. ponders now. I was arm-wrestling with a friend. Sounds crazy but apparently quite common.

[Thunderduck]

You won't do that again I bet.

I had a filing carousel system fall and hit me, breaking my humerus which then damaged the radial nerve.
It was the worst pain that I've ever experienced.

I think I'll use the arm wrestling story next time though, it makes me sound tougher.

[Thunderduck]

I have further questions about your experience, but I'll ask another time. I don't want to continue to hijack your thread.

[Rollergirl1]

I was very drunk at the time which I think numbed the pain a lot! I was very lucky as I suffered no nerve damage. And if it wasn't for the scar I wouldn't even know it had happened. Was a nightmare at the time though as my DD was only 10 months.

Bloody hell, a filing carousel, that must have been awful! I hope you managed to claim some compensation. Did you lose any feeling/movement?

[Thunderduck]

I did receive compensation, but I wish that I hadn't accepted it and had taken them to court as the amount was insufficient imho considering all that it resulted in, 5 day hospital stay,months of physio,months of being unable to raise or move my hand,fingers,arm, pain that I still suffer from, almost total loss of feeling in my hand, my arm can take very little weight now etc.

Anyway enough of the pity party. It's very interesting to hear your story.

Do you still experience pain in your arm if I may ask?

[PixiNanny]

Even if she was young, thats no excuse! I was always taught not to be rude or stare at things that may shock me. Of course I may wide-eyed and ask in a curious way if I was that interested, but otherwise stay quiet as it's damn imploite! She should have known better

Saying that though, a guy who works in the shop opposite my house has only one arm, I was forewarned about this thankfully before I had a chance to make an idiot out of myself (I hadn't noticed it yet and he reached to take down a shoe for me to try on when I did notice it, I think it would have shocked me a bit mre had I not been told about it! Still not enough to be rude though!)

[Rollergirl1]

I think the difference is that I had no nerve damage. I too was in hospital for 5 days when I had the plate put in. And I probably had a month to 6 weeks of physio. I wasn't allowed to drive for 3 months. But I would say that I have suffered no lack of movement to how it was before. I have hyperextensible joints and that arm is still no different, although it did take a bit of physio. The only thing I can complain of is a dull ache when the weather is a bit cold or damp. And if I have been carrying my 14 month a bit too much it aches quite a lot.

All in all I was very very lucky.

Do you still have loss of feeling now?

[Thunderduck]

Unfortunately yes. This is as good as it gets. I'm glad that isn't the case for you. It isn't my dominant arm that has been affected but it still can cause considerable problems.

I know what you mean about damp weather too. Unfortunately cold and dampness is the near permanent state of the weather here.

I shouldn't complain because I was lucky too, if it had happened a minute earlier when I was sitting beneath it then it'd have landed on my head and I wouldn't be here to whinge about it to you.

[Thunderduck]

Are you going to make a formal complaint or just leave it?

[Firawla]

you should make a complaint because its so unprofessional and quite shocking for her to act like that

[Stayingsunnygirl]

If one of my dses, as a toddler, had made such a comment to someone, I would have made them apologise on the spot. Shame this girl never got taught that lesson.

I would complain to the store manager. Whatever her motivation/reason, it was beyond the pale.

BTW - Thunderduck, if you need a different varient on the armwrestling story (for toughness reasons) feel free to use my ds2's explanation of how he broke his arm - playing 'Prison Rules Football' in the playground - apparently it is like football but with no rules and more fractures!

[Thunderduck]

Thankyou to you and your ds Sunnygirl,for that much more impressive explanation. I'll alternate between that and the arm wrestling.
Both sound far better than admitting that a filing system fell on me.