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to be annoyed that my Ex DP let my 8 year old go to the play area on his own at The Larmer Tree Music Festival ?

(18 Posts)
maltesers Tue 21-Jul-09 15:50:06

So my 8 year tells me.
He said -"Daddy let me go to the play park area at the Festival ". So i said, "Oh, where was Daddy whilst you were there ?" Son replied, "He was at the Festival, listening to the music "........shock
I think this is awfully irresponsible and wrong. Should i say something ? I think so.

LaurieFairyCake Tue 21-Jul-09 15:51:20

yaprobablybu - surely he was with other children?

How much of your concern is cos you hate ex - be honest grin

Spidermama Tue 21-Jul-09 15:53:20


Larmer Tree is supposed to be very family friendly. How do you know DP hadn't asked someone to watch him or that there were creche types there.

I don't think you can expect to remotely control your EX's parenting.

Hulababy Tue 21-Jul-09 15:54:01

I'd not be happy, but then my 7y desn't play out on her own at home either. I'd have to mention it and find out what happened, etc.

MIAonline Tue 21-Jul-09 15:54:07

YABU, you would need to know more about the situation before you could decide.

Depends how far away he was, who Ds was with, what the play area was like and so much more. Going on the say of your son's one sentence wouldn't be enough.

maltesers Tue 21-Jul-09 16:00:22

Yes, true , you cannot always take word for word the truth about what children say. May have a word with my Ex.
I do not hate my Exdp...i know he loves his son LAURIEFAIRYCAKES.
True, i cant control mu Exs' parenting, but i do have a say and an opinion about what goes on when my DS goes to dad. He may have been watched by another person or organised group...but not sure. Will have to ask without being accusing.

LaurieFairyCake Tue 21-Jul-09 16:01:41

sorry maltesers - thought I'd seen a thread this week where you were berating him about something else and presumed that you didn't like him much smile

tootyflooty Tue 21-Jul-09 16:02:19

my twins are 11 and I have only just started letting them go (occasionally) to the park, and that is pre arranged and with a known group of same age children, and all armed with mobile phones. If it isn't the norm for your child to be out on their own then you have a right to be concerned, just because an event is geared for familes it doen't make it any safer for children to be unattended. I would have a calm word with your ex and just explain that in future that situation should not occur, also if you dc is going away again stress to them that they are not to go off on their own, but try not to make a big deal of it.

mayorquimby Tue 21-Jul-09 16:14:51

on the info provided i'd say yabu.
and unless there were further mitigating circumstances i'd stick by that

maltesers Tue 21-Jul-09 16:19:34

I have 3 children and my 21 and 18 yr old are from a previous marriage and dad to my 8 yr old. My DS 8yrs, says he was completely on his own with no friend or other parent.. He of course, says i am to stop fussing bout it as he is not a baby any more, but sorry if anything happened to him....OMG. When he was 4 yrs old my Ex took him to the pub and wasnt keeping any eye on him and found him across the road running back to the car.

preciouslillywhite Tue 21-Jul-09 17:52:45

I take my kids to the Big Chill which is similar but bigger, and would be happy to let an eight year old go to the kid's area, if he wasn't a Wanderer Offer (ie likely to go somewhere else after)

I do tend to let them do things I wouldn't at home, and they love it. I let the five year olds go off for a bit (15 minutes or so) if a bigger child keeps an eye on them.

The kids areas are pretty labour intensive imo...lots of "let's make a mask for the carnival" enthusiastic types who stay in there all day...don't blame yr ex for wanting to sit in the sun instead smile

sleepymommy Tue 21-Jul-09 21:22:51

Some of the play areas operate like a creche, with people watching the kids. Never been to Larmer tree though, so couldn't say. But I'd check before flying off the handle.

DebiNewberry Tue 21-Jul-09 21:28:40

I let my eldest go to the play area at Latitude and Bestival (8yo) with a walkie talkie (blush)

I went to The Big Chill when it was at the Larmer Tree Gardens, it is lovely. Um... how did your son feel about it?

pinkthechaffinch Tue 21-Jul-09 22:22:14

I take my 7.5 year old to motocross as dss is a sidecar passenger. We normally stay for the weekend in the camper and i do let ds explore the (usually quite large) site with other kids he meets, unsupervised. I ask him to regularly pop back and see me and sometimes he takes the mobile.

spicemonster Wed 22-Jul-09 06:41:10

I think YABabitU to decide your ex is an incompetent parent based on something that happened 4 years ago. I don't think leaving an 8 year old to the play park at Larmer Tree is awfully irresponsible and wrong and neither do a lot of other people it seems. I think you're going to have to accept that you and your ex have different viewpoints about this but that doesn't make you right and him wrong. I also expect you'd be mighty pissed off if he started questioning your parenting so I would think very carefully before saying anything.

seeker Wed 22-Jul-09 07:18:29

Play area at a family festival. No problem, so long as your ds was happy with it. No risk of damaging his ears - unlike being next to the main stage!

piscesmoon Wed 22-Jul-09 07:27:01

Surely there were lots of other DCs there-and he wasn't alone? Did he know where to find his father? Did he know what to do if he was worried about anything? If the answer is yes to all three,I don't see a problem at a family event.

2rebecca Wed 22-Jul-09 09:12:21

It sounds great he has a father who takes him to such things. If your son was happy with the day and he knew where to find his dad when he wanted him then I'd say it's OK. Different if he was only 4 but I'd expect an 8 year old to be starting to be a bit independant and probably walking to school. My son played in the local park on his own at 8, and I used to be out all day at that age.

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