to not feel sexy when pregnant?

[muuuum1983]

Am I being unreasonable to go all weird at the thought of having sex?
I want to feel sexy but just can't do it cos my bump is massive!

Help!

[Luxmum]

I actually feel incredably sexy at the moment, ie I love my bump and think I look fab. Unfortunately, that hasn't translated into much actual sex for DH, as I still have young toddlers and a house to look after, so am knackered in the evenings, but um, I think pregnant women look fab. Embrace the time with a bump - you can eat huges lunches and it never shows, and your big bum looks positively pert compared to your stomach! Tis great!

[roxy12]

I no exactly how you feel.

I was the same, i didnt want it at all and when i did i hated every minuite as i felt unattractive as i had a massive bump and i was always tired.

I cant give you any advice on how to feel sexy or anything as i was exactly the same as you.

I hope everything will be ok.

Im sure your partner can understand.

[NigellaTufnel]

I've never felt unsexier. And it doesn't help to readt pregnancy books going on about how it can be a wonderful sensual time.

Well, maybe for some lucky people, but not for me.

And my wonderful, caring, and lovely DH obviously does not find the sight of my huge pregnant form particularly alluring.

Bollocks.

And don't get me started about how I didn't want to have sex until after I had stopped bfeeding. So that's a long time without nookie.

HOWEVER, your libido will return to normal. It may take time. But don't worry.

That's why peope have more than one dc

[AnnVan]

Unsexy while pregnant? Definitely. I was tired, I couldn't stop being sick, I was in pain, and had a massive bump. YANBU. Also my libido switched off completely while I was pg. Poor DP It comes back though.

[Claire236]

I love my bump & feel really confident with my body when I'm pregnant but I still don't feel remotely sexy. Having asked friends I've discovered most women go right off sex when pregnant. Oddly when I do take pity on my suffering husband I find the sex is exceptionally good so maybe it's just getting beyond how knackered I am & rediscovering my sex drive.

[ErikaMaye]

I'm loving how huge my boobs have got, and my DP seems to be finding them a fun little asset as well. My sex drive is probably higher than its ever been, but when we do have sex its not as enjoyable... Very odd! I still have a waist, strangely enough, so I don't feel too unsexy.

[trellism]

My DH said it would be daft for men to not find pregnant women sexy - after all, they are clearly fertile, which is supposed to be the point of all this joggling about.

However, finding someone sexy and trying to organise sex around the knackered burping whale that your wife has become are different things .

I think there is a certain expectation (fuelled by films and TV, mostly) that pg women have the constant raging horn, but of course that bears little relation to reality. On TV pg women also all give birth 10 minutes after their waters break, lying on their backs with their legs in the air...

[WhatFreshHellIsThis]

YANBU - I haven't felt remotely sexy during any of my pregnancies, or while breastfeeding. The pill completely turned me off as well, so I suspect those pesky hormones are to blame somehow.

Poor DP.

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is oh so blinking weak! (And knackered).

[SouthMum]

YANBU - I felt grizzly when pg. Someone helpfully suggested a website (cant remember what it was) where you could buy lingerie of the naughty kind (crotchless knickers, sussies, basques etc) for the pregnant lady. I know some women feel sexy when pg but the thought of my massive body that looked like a frog being held up by its head all trussed up in sussies etc just made my va-jay-jay close up as tight as a mouses ear.

It didn't help though that DP wasn't keen on bed action incase we damaged the baby

[JemL]

In my first pregnancy, I wanted no sex at all, ever, until I was overdue, and forced DH to mount me, which must have been like scaling a small mountain for him.

THis time round I have a much higher sex drive, but intermittent bleeding has put me off actually doing anything!!

DH is also scared of hurting the baby...

[mayorquimby]

"My DH said it would be daft for men to not find pregnant women sexy - after all, they are clearly fertile, which is supposed to be the point of all this joggling about."

but by this logic (i.e. animal instincts/procreation/looking for fertility) it is almost impossible from a pregnant woman to become pregnant with another kid (there's always an exception somewhere in history) so why would a man then be attracted to a mate who he can not possibly impregnate?

btw i know nothing about the biology/attraction side of this argument i'm only discussing it for the sake of it and just wondering if anyone does know what the scientists say. i.e. i know we subconsciously look for a fertile healthy mate to procreate with, but then how does this add up with finding pregnant women sexy when there is no chance of sex with them leading to further off-spring?
does this happen in other mammals?do they continue to have sex even when pregnant?

[CowWatcher]

YANBU

[trellism]

Quimby, the logic, I suppose, is that because she's proven she can do it once, so he will be able to reproduce with her after she's knocked out the current one...

It's also evolutionarily advantageous for a current partner to find his pregnant wife attractive, so that he stays around and helps ensure the survival of his offspring.

Some mammals do (dolphins and bonobo chimps certainly have sex for fun) but because most have breeding seasons and humans don't, I guess that the issue doesn't come up much.