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to loathe my ILs, I probably am......

(8 Posts)
posieparkerinChina Mon 20-Jul-09 16:08:54

My in laws are 'common' to say the least, I don't say that from a particularily elevated position myself, but I list a few things so you get the idea. The use moderate racist terms (but they're not racist because they like Indian people), they use sexualised language for body parts (boobs/tits/cherries (eeewww) pussy (yes, my MIL said this) twat) they have the most disgusting table manners, FIL can't take anything I say with any seriousness because I am a woman, they accept their ds treating me terribly because he doesn't really mean it even when he drinks too much, name calls etc, they are very very loud, speak to shop assistants and waiters like shit because they're serving us they fucked up helped us with our house, the list goes on. They do love my dcs and are quite sweet to them although they are shit role models.....
I find it really hard to talk to them when they visit, I hate going to their house and so we rarely go (they live in the Midlands and we live in the South West) I just keep having this fear that if something were to happen to DH's father we'd be expected to have his Mother and this really haunts me. I have a really active hatred for them.....

ManicMother7777 Mon 20-Jul-09 16:33:50

YANBU. They sound exactly like my ex-ILs, the day I got my divorce came through my first thought was sheer relief that I was absolutely and legally no longer related to them!! I also had all that 'he doesn't mean it' stuff when we hit a rocky patch which ended in us splitting up.

I take it you aren't thinking of leaving dh, in which case you just have to make the best of it. What does he have to say about it? Lucky they live so far away though. You'll never change them so you just have to learn to grin and bear it. As for her living with you, that's totally within your control so I wouldn't worry about it, there are so many options these days.

LittleMissTuffet Mon 20-Jul-09 17:08:06

Why did you marry their son, posie? Is he common too (just asking, not getting at you btw)?

ipiratethief Mon 20-Jul-09 17:13:40

but you rarely have to see them, thats a blessing?

ReneRusso Mon 20-Jul-09 17:14:05

Oh dear sorry posie, YANBU, but you just have to put up with it. You presumably knew all this when you married him. If its an consolation my ILs are also completely unashamedly racist and FIL has touched me inappropriately shock

piscesmoon Mon 20-Jul-09 17:19:47

It seems odd to me that ILs can be so vile. A person is what they are from nature and nurture. Your ILs are responsible for both-so they must have done something right! Perhaps they got the wrong baby in the hospital!

Reginamygina Mon 20-Jul-09 17:22:08


I hate my ils too, for different reasons than you, but I do hate them. I really understand where you're coming from when you say it haunts you. I really really do.

posieparkerinChina Wed 22-Jul-09 15:00:37

The things I don't like about my DH are the things I see in him.

They say you can the boy out of Coventry but you can 't take Coventry out of the boy!!!

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